While drinking, I...

Back to Bigfoot

2012-01-31T18:09:00.004-06:00

The boys- and girl- were in Ohio this Sunday. Apparently Ohio has a ton of Bigfoot running around the state. They just haven't ever captured one or found a corpse. But believe them, they are out there.

What we learned this week. The Sasquatch sure does love his bacon! Yep, Bobo was makin' bacon in the morning because he wanted to lure a Squatch out towards him. But he acknowledged he was most likely to get a bear instead. Furthermore, you have to let the Squatch see you eat the bacon. Hell, them Bigfoots ain't stupid! They think you are trying to poison them if you aren't eating your own cooking!

That is the second reference to how you can't fool a Bigfoot. Previously they had stated that Bigfoot was aware of poachers. Now we know they are aware of Mr. Yuck!

Now, according to Bobo's claim, "it will definitely bring out a Squatch!" Funny, I didn't see any Squatches coming out for some sweet applewood pork product. Where was the "Grass Man". That would be Ohioan for Bigfoot.

One thing struck me as I watched the show today. Bobo and Matt each have their own distinct Bigfoot ball. Bobo is a Washington call (I believe that is what it is called) while Matt has the Ohio call. When the show goes to a commercial, we get a cartoon Squatch letting out a call that is like neither one of them. WTF? Should that Squatch give a Washington or Ohio call? Plus I swear that Bigfoot has a distinct New York accent.

One other thing that has me wondering. They keep saying that Bigfoot loves deer. I think he likes his venison as much as he likes his bacon. Where do they have proof that the Squatch eats deer? Have they found a carcass with teeth marks? How can they prove said teeth marks were from a Squatch? Again, they cannot.

Bobo had a nice debate with Ranae about how they can get DNA off a rock. Of course this was because they heard a thud nearby. They each thought they heard it come from a different spot. Funnier is how Bobo deduced that a rock had been thrown. Oy vey!

I think this episode was pretty much a waste. Too many personal experiences, only 1 old video that was very skeptical, and one howl they couldn't identify. A bunch of branches together was a deer blind for a Squatch but there was no prints or proof a Squatch was around. If it was a blind, there would have been some beer cans around it. And if you are going to claim a Bigfoot is walking around the lake every night, then you should be able to simply wait for it to come by.

Dreaming about directing a movie

2012-01-31T14:51:00.002-06:00

I had one of those interesting and strange dreams on Sunday night. It must have been in my wheelhouse because I woke up remembering a lot of it. Better, I fell back and asleep and had a prequel to the dream.

I dreamt I had just won an award for writing and directing an adult film, Who's Licking Linda. I was blown away-no pun intended- at all the attention I was getting for making a highly popular film on my first attempt. Every production company wanted me to work for them. Women were begging me to cast them, promising to do what it takes.

I woke up thinking it was a funny dream. Funny as in I don't know anyone named Linda. Maybe that is why it was called Who's Licking Linda.

When I got back to sleep, I started another dream that was linked. In this prequel, I only had the working title and was trying to build the story around it. The premise was simple. After someone had performed cunnilingus on Linda, she would go on to do amazing things.

This talent was discovered when she went to a doctor that specializes in the human body. She had been feeling weird and wanted him to diagnose her problem. He gets her on the examination table and soon discovers her acute reaction when he ends up going down on her. When she leaves, she goes on to run and win a marathon. Hey, this is a dream, the shit ain't suppose to make sense.

After winning the marathon, she begins to connect the dots as to why she may have done so well. She wonder if the "exam" had anything to do with it. So she mentions it to a friend of hers and they talk about the experience. Her friend go down on her and she goes off and does something heroic again. Linda goes on to win a gold medal, runs for office, and makes a lot of money.

That dream sure beat the one I had last night where I couldn't find my Mustang. I parked it by the lake next to a shop that specializes in restoring old VW Beetles. They would make them into flat black convertibles. I wandered around 3 lots trying to find my car. I never did.

The Finding Bigfoot Drinking Game

2012-01-18T18:00:00.002-06:00

Man this show is hilarious. Not just the commentary from the "researchers" but with the Pop Up feature in the older versions, it becomes more of a mockery.

So what better to do when mocking the show than drink along with it! I present to you the Finding Bigfoot Drinking Game.

Grab you favorite beer and booze. You'll need both. Make sure you have enough as you don't want to run out.

The rules are quite simple:

Take a pull off your beer any time someone says Squatch.
Do a shot any time some one says a variation of Squatch- squatchy, squatching, etc.
Chug when one of the "researchers" makes a claim that the evidence or story is definitely a Bigfoot. For example, when Bobo sees a marking on a tree or hears a knock and says "There is definitely a squatch in the area" or "I am confident that is a squatch!", you would chug what is left of your beer.

The episode from North Carolina helped prove how silly these investigators are. It centered around blurry video from a heat detecting camera. A friend of the "researchers" showed a video he recorded that was suppose to be a Bigfoot crawling up a slight hill on its belly and grabbing a candy bar. This friend claimed he was the only one in the state park at the time. He said he had a Bigfoot swatting at his tent and he scared it away. He thought it was still close by so he sent up the heat detecting camera and aimed it towards a stump that he had placed a candy bar on. He then drove away.

I have a problem with a couple details of the story. If the Bigfoot was swatting at his tent, why would it run away from him? Actually, why do Sasquatches in general always seem to run away from humans? They'll throw rocks at them, knock stuff around, but then they run away? It doesn't make sense.

The guy set up this camera but he didn't focus it on the stump. My guess is that a Bigfoot has some kind of electro magnetic field around them because every time a squatch is caught on tape, it is blurry. Same with his tape.

Why did the guy get in his car and drive away? It actually gives him plenty of time to come back and become the image on the tape. For someone trying to find proof of a Bigfoot, leaving the scene makes no sense whatsoever.

Best part though, was they were able to successfully recreate the video with Bobo! Proof that it cannot be taken as solid proof. Oh wait, that is what they would do on Ghost Hunters. Debunk it and dismiss it as not real evidence of a squatch. Not these guys. Recreating the video meant diddly squat.

Remember, it is always going to be a Bigfoot until proven otherwise.

I also noticed one of these clowns claim they are a scientific organization. Funny but they ignore the scientific process in its entirety. Hell, they might as well be climate researchers since they ignore science that proves them wrong as well.

Pop Up Bigfoot!

2012-01-16T17:13:00.003-06:00

Today is the Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence marathon. It looks to be some kind of prequel or the first season of Finding Bigfoot.

And it is awesome! No wait, it is awful!

It is friggin' Pop Up ~~Video~~ Bigfoot! Really, as the show goes on, the investigator's faces pop up in a little bubble with really stupid facts or comments.

The show from Alaska featured tidbits such as

My first trip to Alaska
How do you like my hat?
It seems to be a blob-squatch
I loved the totem pole park.

This one started off with some actual photos. One was a some sort of nest. Of course, because they deduced it wasn't a bird, it had to be a Sasquatch. Great to know that same logic was applied last year. Everything is a Sasquatch until proven otherwise.

Other photos showed toes in the snow, a blurry photo of something dark, and other ambiguous pictures. Still, no real evidence of an actual Bigfoot. As I watched, I began to wonder one thing. If the photo they like so much is the footprints in the snow, why didn't they come up to investigate in the winter when there would be snowfall? Wouldn't it make their investigation much easier?

Wait, I think I am using logic. And it ain't the Bigfoot logic they use.

Of course Bobo was full of unverified Sasquatch facts. How they like to move around when it is most quiet. Sasquatchs can shimmy up a tree really fast.

But the best was Squatch Strategy. How if you get near one, another Bigfoot will make a loud noise to get you away from the other one, like if you are approaching its female. Where does Bobo get this shit? Bobo was certain they found a footprint of a baby Bigfoot and the sound they heard was meant to scare them away.

I learned there are different kinds of howls they use when investigating. Ohio Howl. Whoop Howl. I hope to learn more howls. I hope Bobo doesn't claim to know a Mating Howl.

But the stupidest thing I saw was the one Pop Up comment that said they wanted a decommissioned ranger vehicle to drive when on the island (Prince Wales Island) because "Sasquatches would not associate those vehicles with poachers. Poachers? Really this clown is worried about people poaching a Bigfoot? No one has ever brought a body of a Bigfoot in to prove they exist let alone there be a poaching problem! What an idiot!

Bobo's quote of the show- "Not every Squatch is a rocket scientist. There are some dumb ones."

Coming up: The Finding Bigfoot drinking game!

Different kind of weird dream

2012-01-14T18:05:00.002-06:00

It was weird dream night again. But this one was quite different from the ones I had in the past. This was a scary weird dream.

Not scary as in I popped up in a sweat in the middle of the night kind of dream. Scary as I was scared during the dream. Quite an interesting experience.

The dream started out normal I guess. I had begun to notice some strange things happening in my house. Items disappearing, a strange noise hear and there, but nothing that seemed out of the ordinary. That is, until the frequency started to increase. Then I was thinking there was something more than met the eye.

I was becoming more aware of what it could be. Paranormal activity. But I wasn't sold on it. That is until the pantry incident.

As I said, the activity was more common. I had noticed things go on with more frequency. Thus, when I had walked into the pantry to get something and heard a loud noise from the other room, I was alarmed. I took a step out of the pantry and saw that the kitchen door going to the back steps was now wide open. I knew it had been closed.

I jumped back into the pantry. Seeing that door open freaked me out. But then I realized that that the door had opened, but no one had come in. I would have seen them walk by or in the kitchen. Now I was scared.

I was certain there was something just outside of the door in the back hallway. And my gut told me it wasn't necessarily a person. But I wasn't taking any chances. I grabbed a bowl and got ready to attack.

But first I had to get the courage to do so. I was scared shitless. It wasn't like I could just jump out right away. Plus, I was using a bowl as a weapon. That one makes me laugh. I am in a pantry with canned goods. I had silverware in a drawer as well as some big knives. But it was a bowl that would be my weapon.

I jumped out swinging the bowl but there was no one there. I stepped in to the hallway and looked down the steps but nothing. I walked back into the kitchen and put the bowl down. Then I walked to the bedroom. I was surprised what I saw there.

A sliding door in front of my bed. Yeah, really scary! I looked at the door and wondered what the hell was going on. I walked out of the bedroom wondering what to do. I figured I'd take the door downstairs. No idea where this sliding door had come from. It wasn't from my house. I thought somewhere in the neighborhood someone was walking into their bedroom and wondering what happened to the door on their closet.

But when I went back into my bedroom, the door was gone. Instead there was my leather jacket hanging by the wall, torn apart with blood all over it, my bed, and the walls. I ran out of the room.

For whatever reason, there was a woman in my living room with a little boy about 8 years old. Apparently he was my nephew even though my nephew is just 3 years old and the woman wasn't my sister in law. She was telling the boy to apologize to me and promise he wouldn't do this again. The boy said I deserved it. That he would stop if I would be nicer. As he said this, his eyes were pitch black and he spoke in a cold manner. I agreed thinking this kid was the freakin' devil.

End of dream.

I don't recall having a dream like that where I was scared in it. That was a different experience.

And before you go around wondering what I ate for dinner. It was a hamburger. But what may had led to the dream was what I was watching when I fell asleep. It was a show called The Dead Files. That may have had an influence.

I will probably watch the UFC tonight. Maybe I'll dream about fighting in the cage tonight.

Marathon?

2012-01-12T17:02:00.002-06:00

Monday may end up being the best day ever!

My company started recognizing the Martin Luther King holiday as a mandatory day off a year ago. Thus, my lazy butt gets to sleep in. But it gets even better.

While I was setting up the DVR to record Sunday's episode, I saw a similar show called Finding Bigfoot: Further Evidence. Same guys doing their thing. I started going nuts on the DVR but then noticed something.

They have a bunch of episodes on Monday during the day. OMG! Finding Bigfoot marathon!!! They are re-running episodes originally shown in October of last year

But it does scare me. Can I take 4 hours of Bobo?

Finding Bigfoot- It gets funnier

2012-01-09T19:47:00.002-06:00

Having watched the first episode of Finding Bigfoot and laughing out loud, I couldn't wait to see the next episode. For once, missing the first episode when it aired was lucky for me. That meant I could see two episodes in one night. In this case, I recorded it so I could laugh again tonight.

They were in Rhode Island, a state that one investigator thought was way too small to hold such a big creature. Right away, the logic makes no sense. Better yet, Bobo didn't make the comment.

There were some great things in the Rhode Island episode. Faulty logic, new tenses of "squatch", and new facts.

Let's start with the faulty logic. In Finding Bigfoot, the equation seems to be:

a+b=c

a- Authority figure

b-Bigfoot sighting

c- Confirmed evidence

Please note the equation does not contain any evidence. In this case, a biologist (a) had a personal encounter (b) with what he thought was a Bigfoot. The biologist did not have any evidence but because he is a biologist, it is definitely a Bigfoot (c). Bobo said so with absolute confidence. Through two episodes I can tell you that means squat, not squatch.

The also brought us some new ways to use "squatch". We learned that in addition to it being used as a verb (squatching), it can be used as an adjective (squatchy) and a noun (squatcher). I look forward to them expanding the dictionary next week.

The biggest new fact I learned from Rhode Island was that the Sasquatch and coyotes basically go hand in hand. Where you find coyotes, you find Bigfoots. Or Bigfeet. I still haven't had that clarified.

I will give one investigator credit. Apparently their thing is to leave one of their guys out in the woods alone for a couple of days. The guy goes investigating on the second night because he smells what he described as a "sweet, rotting piece of meat". He walks through the woods until he finds the source. A mushroom. Some big smelly mushroom in the woods. Though he was disappointed he didn't find a carcass a Squatch had been feeding on, he did say that maybe the Squatch would eat these mushrooms and thus they had to be around. Great logic there.

But he went on. He let out a call and got a response. He did it a second time and got another response. Bigfoot??? Nope. He actually admits that it is a barn owl. I was shocked. If that had been Bobo he would have swore he was communicating with a Squatch. So I must give this guy some credit for admitting it wasn't what he wanted.

But the same guy also came across a footprint. At first he said it was a Bigfoot print. He measure it at 10 inches and felt confident. But later he said it was probably just a human. I am fine with that but I had one issue. Where was his plaster mix? I thought all Bigfoot specialists carried that mix on them so they could mix it with water on the spot to get a copy of the print. I am now beginning to doubt their qualifications.

Line of the night goes to Bobo- "I can say with confidence that Rhode Island is squatchy as Hell". Yep, you have no physical proof, no video or audio recording but it is squatchy Yeah, right.

It looks like they go to Minnesota next week. And apparently something happens that could only be the result of a Bigfoot! My prediction? No evidence and Bobo agrees with every possible Bigfoot possibility.

Best comedy on TV

2012-01-08T19:44:00.002-06:00

Tonight I am watching the best new comedy on TV. It doesn't have any comedians or a fancy set nor is it on any of the major networks. Its on Animal Planet. I am talking about Finding Bigfoot.

Right away I knew this show was going to insanely stupid and funny. They show footage of some ape like creature swing from a branch on a tree in the distant background of some guy talking. One of the investigators, Bobo ~~the Clown~~, says that it is positively a baby Sasquatch. He quickly follows up by saying that no one has ever seen a baby Sasquatch so it has to be one. What? You have no basis for comparison but you confidently state it is a baby Squatch.

Oh yeah, that word, Squatch. That is all Bobo says. It even becomes a verb. Squatching. To be searching for Bigfoots. Or is that Bigfeet?

These investigators use this kind of logic. If it cannot be easily explained, then it has to be a Bigfoot. There first conclusion is always that it is a Bigfoot. They have taken all these theories and assumptions and simply claim them as fact. I find myself laughing out loud each time they make one of these silly comments.

During an investigation, they think they hear some knocks in the distance. So they start to walk towards where they think they heard the sound. Bobo even makes the comment that they must be within 30 yards of the sound. How the hell do you figure that out? Later, he claims that they had rocks thrown towards them, though he says that acorns are dropping. I have been camping when nuts have fallen off the tree and they can make some noise. Occam's Razor people.

There does appear to be one scientist in the group. The woman is the only non-believer. Thankfully she gives these looks to the camera when they sound silly.

If you believe in Bigfoot, fine. I don't care. But apply a scientific method to your search. Don't always conclude that every sound, every broken branch, every reaction is from a Sasquatch. Not everything in the woods is a Squatch. Get some real proof before you attempt to speak with authority.

Goodbye 2011

2011-12-31T13:35:00.002-06:00

There is just over 10 hours left in the year as I type. 2011 had its trial and tribulations. Many highs and lows but a year more memorable than others.

Losing my mother has weighed heavy on my mind lately. Knowing she is in a better place and not in pain makes it easier to handle. Thankfully I have great memories and no regrets. I still miss you Mom.

It also felt like 2011 wanted to get one last dig in on me in December. I got a notice from the IRS that my tax return from 2009 was wrong. This made no sense to me as I looked over what they were claiming and found everything on my Schedule D. The strangest part is they wanted me to pay taxes on two tax free money market funds. My response was promptly sent along with my supporting documents- basically what they already have- and now I wait to hear back from them. Fun times indeed!

Let's move onto some of the better things. I had a nice trip to California to see the Big 4. Enjoyed a nice weekend with friends among the biggest of the thrash bands. Vegas was a blast as it always is. Plus there were some good times with friends at camping.

Looking back it was a good year in music too. One of my favorite bands, Night Ranger, had a solid album out. That was followed up by Anthrax and Steel Panther creating some good work too. But the best of the year probably came from the Foo Fighters. The song Walk helped me get through the rough times earlier in the year.

I'll be joining some friends tonight for some cocktails but won't be doing anything totally silly. I really don't feel the need to do that stuff anymore. Unless it just happens of course.

Hoping anyone who reads this has a safe and prosperous new year. Cheers!

My life in cartoon

2011-12-11T21:19:00.001-06:00

I swear its true!

Beer in Vegas

2011-12-08T19:06:00.002-06:00

I had a great weekend in Vegas. The tables weren't too kind but I did make up for it at the bars. I was able to sample a nice variety of beers across a number of locations.

When heading into a different city, my goal is to try either the local brews or something I can't get back in Milwaukee. A little research told me that I would have plenty of opportunity to enjoy beers I can't find back home. Its a nice trend in Sin City. Burger joints are the rage. And all of these burger joints have really good beer lists.

When I got into town, my first stop was the closest. I walked over to the Flamingo to check out Sin City Brewing. I read they had an outlet somewhere in the back of the casino. After much walking I did find it way in the back. I was scared at first when I saw the slushy machines behind the bar. They had 4 beers on tap. Their stout, amber, light and an Oktoberfest. I went with the stout. It was pretty good. I followed it up with the Oktoberfest and was surprised by how good it was. Well done Sin City. I'll come back next time I am in town.

I would try more beers at the Aria, the Pub in the Monte Carlo, Holsteins at the Cosmopolitan, and the Pour 24 bar at New York New York. I'd have more than 20 different beers over my weekend. It would have been more had I not drank a lot of bourbon on Thursday. Plus, some events called for Miller Lite instead of something heavier and stronger. As I explained to someone, every beer has its place in life.

So, what was the best beer I had all weekend? That is a somewhat tough question but a rather easy answer. It was the Kona Longboard. There was something about this lager that was smooth, flavorful, and satisfying. It really hit the spot.

Next may have been the Firestone Walker Pale 31. Not too hoppy with a nice body. I was hoping to try their Velvet Merlin but the Pub was out of it.

I drank a good amount of Widmer Hefeweizen at the Aria. It was the best beer they had on tap, IMO. Funny thing I noticed at the Aria. A bottle of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA was a buck cheaper than a draft of Samuel Adams Boston Lager. Sure you got 4 more ounces of the Sam Adams but I'd take the Dogfish every day of the week.

Other good beers I enjoyed included the Wasatch Devestator, Rogue Hazlenut (a favorite), and the Pyramind Unfiltered Haywire Hefeweizen. I even liked the Asahi Super Dry I had late on Sunday.

I may begin to plan a vacation to the Northwest in 2012. There are a good number of breweries in the region including Rogue. A week of sampling could be just the thing for me.

A Festivus miracle!

2011-11-24T09:28:00.002-06:00

There is no Day 6. AT&T was able to rectify the problem and I have TV and internet service once again. But being AT&T, it was no simple feat.

There was a serious problem. But it wasn't at my house. It was actually a block away at some kind of substation or module that controls the neighborhood. But I am getting ahead of myself. As I said, it was easy for AT&T to do this.

Surprisingly, the tech showed up early. Like most of the people I have spoken to at Uverse, he was dumbfounded to see the equipment. He thought he was doing an install, not a repair. Actually, I think he work order was for a reinstall. First time I heard that term from them.

Tech guy immediately told me of the problem with the station down the street and said he believed that would be the issue. But he would check things on this end of the block first. He went outside and checked the box outside the house. No signal. Next, he hooked up one of the lumberjack straps and climbed right up the pole. Hell, who needs a ladder? Ten minutes later he was in his truck and sat in there for a while.

WTF?

I thought he had quit. Apparently he was having a cigarette as I smelled it when he came back to the house. He told me there was nothing he could do. He had no signal at the house or the pole so the station down the street was the problem. Of course he couldn't tell me when this would be fixed but he told me they were aware of the issue and the guy was still working. That did not sound encouraging. He did mention that when it was fixed, everything should boot right on up.

I sat around my house thinking of what to do. I decided to take a nap and let the stress of the situation melt away. When I got up, I noticed another AT&T truck outside by the pole. It was a different truck this time. A new tech was up a ladder- guess he didn't have the mad lumberjack skills the other one did- and was working on that box. He came to the house and tinkered with that before hopping in his truck and driving away. Where are you going?!?!?!?

I putzed around the house for a while wondering what I should do. I thought about what the first tech had said about the substation down the street. I figured maybe that is where the second dude was. Curiosity got the better of me and I decided to take a walk. If I saw this guy down there working, I'd come back home. If not, I would keep on walking to a bar.

Sure enough, he was working on the substation. Only thing was he looked confused. He had a flashlight out and was lighting up the ground. That didn't look promising. I did as I said and walked back to the house just in case the tech would have to come back and go inside the house. About 20 minutes later the truck was back outside the house. Soon I noticed that the modem was flashing an angry red signal. I rebooted everything and was up and running again!

A true Festivus miracle!

So things are good again. I lost everything that was recorded though. For whatever reason the recordings on the DVR but associated with one of the other 4 accounts that was created. I'll survive. I am just happy to get things working.

Tomorrow I call and speak to them about billing. I'm gonna raise Hell and make sure they don't charge me for installation. That should be fun.

Day 5

2011-11-23T10:38:00.002-06:00

I woke up wondering how much I would have to dislike someone to recommend they sign up for Uverse. There would have to be a lot of disgust for me to do that to someone.

I am in Day 5 of no service from Uverse. I wish I had individual posts for each day now. It would have been better than the letter I sent off to AT&T yesterday. From what I gather, that mail box isn't really monitored but I felt better having sent it. I still will work towards finding a good email address to blast away on.

Day 4 was about what I expected. Spent about 75 minutes in the morning talking with Maurice (no not the gangster of love) about what was going on. He seemed pretty confident he could solve the problems for me. In fact, he said it was all fixed and would be working when I got home. I would just need to reboot the gateway- their fancy name for the modem- and after I reboot the TV boxes all would be good.

HA!

Actually I knew better. For some reason, a field technician called me a couple hours later and asked about the problems I was having and if I was home so he could fix it. Having not wanted to waste a day waiting around for a tech to show up I told him I wasn't leaving work. Beside, Maurice had promised me it would work. Field tech Lee said it wouldn't. His solution was that because the account numbers had been changed so many times that new boxes had to be installed. Of course he wouldn't work late (past 4) and provide me superior customer service. Nor could he arrange for someone to come out instead of him. Thanks again AT&T!

When I got home did the reboot I got the same result. Nothing. I was back on the phone and calling them on the super special Bat line. This time Michelle apoligized profusely for what happened and said she would work on it. She just needed to get through on the Order Management Team to get someone out to get it fixed this week. After 15 minutes of being on hold with her coming back every 5 minutes, she suggested she call me back with an update.

Do I really need to mention that she never called back?

And the apoligies. I told Michelle to stop apologizing. I explained that the apologies were meaningless. There is nothing worth less than an apology from an AT&T service rep.

So I was back on the phone today speaking with Ross, another one of these Tier Two technicians. He gave me a different reason for why things weren't working but did mention the same problem that Maurice had the day before. I went on my frustrating rant again, mentioning that oe of the biggest days in football was coming up and I wanted to be able to watch football. I even joked saying "Is this the America we live in when we can't watch football on Thanksgiving ?!?!?!" He laughed at that one. Finally, a rep with a sense of humor. I asked where he was and found out he was in Dallas. He was also unhappy that he had to work tomorrow instead of going to the football game. Maybe that is a sign?

So for those keeping score at home, a technician is suppose to show up today between 4 and 9. Since this didn't happen on Monday, I am not holding my breath that it happens today.

Why does AT&T Uverse hate me?

2011-11-22T09:36:00.002-06:00

I made a horrendous decision last month. I decided to switch away from Time Warner Cable to AT&T Uverse. Things were fine for one week. But someone closed my account, unbeknowst to me. Frustrated, I decided to write this letter to the bigwigs at AT&T. Now I need to find a slew of email addresses to send it to

To whom it concerns at Uverse:

Uverse has been the most miserable experience of my life. Over the past 3 days, no one has been able to re-establish the service the AT&T disconnected. I wonder how AT&T will disappoint me today.

Over the last 3 days, I have spent
• five hours on the phone with your technicians
• another five hours waiting for a technician to come to my house to fix the problem, but he never showed up nor did he call
• May have wasted my minutes on my cell phone plan and
• Spent week too much time being frustrated by this experience

It started with November 12, 2011. I had the service installed. Everything appeared to be fine until I noticed the box wouldn’t let me record. It wasn’t a DVR box. Luckily I was able to track the guy down outside and have DVR installed before he left. I guess that was a harbinger of things to come.

My Uverse service lasted a week. On November 19 I woke up to find a message on my TV that stated my account had been disabled. I promptly called AT&T to have the service restored but that didn’t work. I was bounced around between technicians, billing, more technicians, new accounts, and back to a technician for two hours. In the end, nothing was resolved and I still didn’t have any service.

I asked them why the service turned off. Their notes indicated that someone on their end hadn’t completed the installation process. So someone at AT&T erred and my service was disconnected.
So I asked them to turn it back on. If you can turn the service off, just turn it back on. Apparently that is not possible.

Later on the 19th, a Tier Two technician called to say that he would have it fixed before the night was over. Well, that didn’t happen. He called back a couple hours later to tell me they couldn't get it to work but they would continue over the nighttime hours and he would call me in the morning on the 20th.

I didn’t hear from a Uverse rep until around 5 PM on the 20th. At that point they asked if they could try one more time before having the service disconnected. I am not sure why I said yes. I spoke with another Tier Two technician who said they can assist me and get the service operation. After another half hour being put on hold, I was told that a technician would have to come to my house to fix it the problem. An appointment for Monday the 21st was established.

The technician was supposed to arrive at my house between 4 and 9 PM on Monday, November 21. That did not happen. I called AT&T again to verify that a technician was in fact coming. No one could explain to me what happened to the appointment. For the next 90 minutes I was talking back and forth with customer service reps technicians who said they couldn't figure out what's going on. I just want to know why technician never called or showed up at my house. At the end of the night, the technician told me I had to call back the next day. Apparently AT&T cannot have someone call me to resolve my problem.

During this process, I was told the problem was that I had 4 accounts. Apparently in trying to fix everything your reps kept closing out one account opening up a new account to get service running once again. This only compounded the problem.

On November 22, 2011I called the new number provided to me and talked with another technician. He says that there didn’t appear to be anything wrong with my order and they needed to talk with those Tier Two technicians and schedule an appointment to come to my house. I asked why they didn’t show up yesterday. I was surprised to hear the rep admit that someone should have been at my house but didn’t show because there was a problem with the account. I pressed as to why I wasn’t contacted. Again I was surprised to hear that I should have been.

Even more surprising is when the rep tells me they can have someone come out on December 20 to install the equipment. After I finished laughing, I ask him why? I have the equipment in my house and just need someone to figure out how to reactivate it. This is news to him. For someone who spent some time reviewing my account, no where did it indicate the original issue and that I had the equipment in my house. I guess that is what happens when each rep closes your account and opens a new one. By the way, this rep opened another new account for me.

Now here I am at Day 4 without any television or internet service. I have no faith in your product or company. I would like someone to address these issues and tell me why you treat your customers so poorly.

Sickish

2011-11-15T19:58:00.002-06:00

As I mentioned last week, I got flu shot. I never get a shot because I think I am going to get sick from it.

I do feel like I got sick from the shot. I felt crappy on Thursday morning. Feverish, stuffed up. It could have been allergies but I don't feel sick like that. I just sneeze.

I went ahead and gave blood. The Blood Center vampires didn't care too much. I told them I had gotten a flu shot and they acted like it was nothing.

I felt fine on Friday. Probably because I had the day off. But I have had trouble sleeping the last couple of nights. I have woken up coughing up a storm, as my throat feels like it is covered with phlegm. Worst part is I just can't get back to sleep. I woke up at 3 this morning and went through the same routine. This time was different though.

I am not positive I was sleeping because I think I had a dream of me trying to sleep without coughing. At least I believe it was a dream because I was startled by the alarm going off.

I know one thing tonight. If I wake up coughing this morning, I am going to grab a bottle and take a couple of slugs off of it. I may not get back to sleep but I'll get a buzz on.

Bye Oktoberfest, hello Winter Ales

2011-11-13T10:15:00.002-06:00

Sadly, I think my Marzen quest is over. The winter ale season is upon us now. Sure I could probably scoop up some Oktoberfest beers on the cheap as they clear them out but who wants to drink old beer? I still think that was the problem with the Beck's Oktoberfest. It sat around too long and got skunky.

Thinking ahead to winter ales, I did try one the other week. Bells Winter White Ale. Very good. They merged a Belgian White into a winter ale and pulled it off. Very well done.

Drinking a sample of winter ales won't be easy. At least that is how I perceive it. I know Capital Brewing makes a good one, Skal. Sprecher makes a decent winter brew. But beyond that I am not too familiar with any others. Looks like I may have to do a search for this style.

Shot!

2011-11-08T19:04:00.002-06:00

I did something that I don't think I had done since I was in the 4th grade. I got a vaccination. A flu shot to be exact.

For the most part, I am basically anti-shot. I am not afraid of needles. I just figured having a virus- dead or not- being put into my body was a great idea. A virus gets you sick. I rather keep it from surfing my blood stream.

So why did I get a shot today? I really don't know. Maybe because it was free. Maybe I was curious what it was like to get a shot again. Maybe I wanted to kill some time at work.

The experience was rather boring. I remember the time in grade school. There was this gun that they used. They held it against your arm and boom! It quickly shot a needle in your arm, drop its payload, and it was done. I don't recall it hurting when I was a kid. I do recall faking the pain because everyone one the class thought it hurt. I guess I wasn't cool enough to strut around acting like a little badass that could take the shot.

There was no gun today. Each syringe looked like it had a needle about an inch long. I watch the lady push the need into a co-worker's arm like it was nothing. When it was my turn I didn't feel a thing. It was a non-event.

I do wonder if I might feel any affects from the vaccination. Some people at work have felt a bit down in the days after getting their shots. I figure my immune system will pounce on the virus and I'll feel just fine tomorrow. I hope so. I am scheduled to give blood on Thursday.

Happy Helloween

2011-10-31T08:55:00.003-05:00

Forgotten in his reich of shadows
Banned forever, one thought
The Lord of evil was given name and place
Of the seventh sea, shelter of the seventh key
Who was betraying us? I guess you know
There would be more than one name to name
Now he, whose name is many, searches for the one...
The one strong enough to survive as his terrestial hand
enticement and promise will crown a king
A puppet on a string - for a 1000 years,
...so they sing...

Two more for the list

2011-10-28T13:44:00.005-05:00

As I make my march through the Marzens, it is becoming a bit more difficult to find something to sample. I hope to find the Oktoberfest style at the local bars but too many of them have the same thing which is quite strange. I have a great selection of beers available to me in my neighborhood. Unless I spend a hundred bucks at the liquor store buying every single Marzen in sight then my list won't expand too much. Though I think it is a good sample.

I stumbled across the Silver Creek Oktobefest at a bar last Saturday. They are a little brewery in a Milwaukee suburb, if I am not mistaken. The beer itself looked better than it tasted. It was thin, lacking body. The flavor could have been more pronounced as well. Simply put, I rather have another beer.

The other one was recommended to me from a guy at work. He thought the Beck's Oktoberfest was really good. Having seen this at the store on my last trip- actually having just about bought some- I grabbed a sixer when I was buying beer to pay off a bet. At first glance it looked good. Nice color in the glass. The taste was good, full body and pleasant. But after you swallowed it, it was harsh. Upon having a new bottle, realized it was rather skunky. Damn those green bottles! Hopefully I can come across this on tap before the season is over.

Best of 2011 is still the New Glarus Staghorn.

God damn that is good! Get me another!

Flying Dog Dogtoberfest

Tyranena Gemutlichkeit

Lakefront Oktoberfest

Spaten Oktoberfest

Good to drink if they don't have anything else.

Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Capitol Oktoberfest

Samuel Adams Octoberfest

Ayinger Oktober Fest Marzen

Beck's Oktoberfest

I think I'll have a Miller Lite instead.

Hinterland Oktoberfest

Central Waters Octoberfest

Hofbrau Oktoberfestbier

Silver Creek Oktoberfest

Three more on the list

2011-10-16T09:35:00.003-05:00

Let's expand the list of Oktoberfest beers. Sadly, none of these was knock your socks off good. I had high hopes for the Sam Adams and Ayinger but they came up short. I am looking forward to trying the Bells Oktoberfest soon. Also will try the Schells, Becks, and Summit if I can still find them.

Samuel Adams Octoberfest- I believe this beer won an award at the Great American Beer Festival last month. I am not sure why. I thought it was average. It had good taste, color, and aroma, but it seemed thin to me. If it had a bit more body, it would have been great.

Ayingner Oktober Fest Marzen - Similiar to the Sam Adams, this one was on the thin side. Maybe my hopes were too high for this German import. Good flavor but a bit light. It also could have been a bit maltier for my palate.

Hofbrau Oktoberfestbier- I am not sure this is even a Marzen. It was light and lacked the malty taste. I would drink this again but not when I am looking for a good Oktoberfest beer.

Best of 2011 is still the New Glarus Staghorn.

God damn that is good! Get me another!

Flying Dog Dogtoberfest

Tyranena Gemutlichkeit

Lakefront Oktoberfest

Spaten Oktoberfest

Good to drink if they don't have anything else.

Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Capitol Oktoberfest

Samuel Adams Octoberfest

Ayinger Oktober Fest Marzen

I think I'll have a Miller Lite instead.

Hinterland Oktoberfest

Central Waters Octoberfest

Hofbrau Oktoberfestbier

Occupy Wall Street and their short sightedness.

2011-10-06T11:27:00.004-05:00

I am amazed by the short sightedness and stupidity of people that protest. They forget how the conveniences of life are delivered to them. They think they are entitled to such amenities.

Well, someone has to give them an ounce of truth. I'll take that one! Here is my response to the "demands" of the Occupy Wall Street crowd.

Declaration of the Occupation of New York City
They have taken our houses through an illegal foreclosure process, despite not having the original mortgage.- So you haven't paid your mortgage in months, huh? There is a good chance that they do know where your original mortgage is. So they should foreclose because you are a deadbeat. Face it, banks own your property now so get on with your life and regroup like your family has done before. You are part of the problem, not the solution.

They have taken bailouts from taxpayers with impunity, and continue to give Executives exorbitant bonuses.- The banks that survived paid the bailouts back with extra interest payments. Hell, the current administration kept changing the rules to punish them more, even the banks that didn't want to take TARP money but were forced to. They don't owe the taxpayer any more. Well, they not including Maxine Waters' husband. In fact, you should be thanking some of the big banks that use the TARP money to buy out weak banks. They saved jobs for tens of thousands. So stop crying because made money they were forced to take. You should learn that bankers are smarter than politicians.

They have perpetuated inequality and discrimination in the workplace based on age, the color of one’s skin, sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. Unions perpetuate inequality and discrimate based on age and skin color too. Hell, they worked hard to prevent the black man from becoming a part of the union. You blaming them? And get your facts straight. The company I work for stresses diversity. Openly gay people work here. Gender identity? Really?

They have poisoned the food supply through negligence, and undermined the farming system through monopolization. Stop buying happy meals and start your own friggin' garden already.

They have profited off of the torture, confinement, and cruel treatment of countless nonhuman animals, and actively hide these practices. Mmm... thank you Perdue for those juicy chickens last night. And exactly what the hell is a non-human animal? Stop trying to be so fancy in your declaration writing.

They have continuously sought to strip employees of the right to negotiate for better pay and safer working conditions. Funny, I work in a nice safe place. Security guards on the premises ensure it stays that way. So does OSHA. So does every company that looks to stay in business and not face lawsuits that make them go bankrupt. If you want better pay, go work for someone else. Or change your vocation. Happens all the time in the real world.

They have held students hostage with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on education, which is itself a human right. Sure its a human right. No one stopping you from walking to the library and reading some encyclopedias and books, is there? I guess someone forced you to attend that institution of higher learning. And some where along the line they sprung it on you that there is a fee for such services. Those lying bastards!!! Actually, I wonder how you got into college to begin with.

They have consistently outsourced labor and used that outsourcin outsourcing as leverage to cut workers’ healthcare and pay. So in this declaration asking for equality you are saying people in other countries aren't as equal as you? Got it. Consistently? Hardly. The choice is simple. You either have a job or you don't. When you keep demanding more and more from an employer who simply cannot pay it, you have put yourself out of a job. Stop blaming someone else.

They have influenced the courts to achieve the same rights as people, with none of the culpability or responsibility. You know what, I am going to give you this one! But remember one thing... there are many liberal politicians that have done the same thing. Go speak with Charlie Rangel about obeying the law and tell him to pay his taxes.

They have spent millions of dollars on legal teams that look for ways to get them out of contracts in regards to health insurance. What the hell are you talking about?

They have sold our privacy as a commodity. Kinda like what Julian Assange is doing, huh? I hope you stop him next. Besides, when you give up your information to someone, haven't you sold your right away? You signed that agreement that allowed them to do it.

They have used the military and police force to prevent freedom of the press. I think the press has done that themselves. Last I saw, neither the army nor any cops were working at the local paper.

They have deliberately declined to recall faulty products endangering lives in pursuit of profit. Yeah, right. I see recalls on items all the time. You want to broadbrush corporate America. Profitable companies recall items quickly because they know if they don't, they lose future customers. I thought you would have learned this in that college that deceptively charged you to attend. Oh wait, you were smart enough to make it in the Business School.

They determine economic policy, despite the catastrophic failures their policies have produced and continue to produce. Actually, that would be the President and his administration. I agree with you thought. Obama's policies are a catastrophic failure and hasn't produced anything.

They have donated large sums of money to politicians supposed to be regulating them. You do know that the CEO of Goldman Sachs raised a lot of money for Obama and speaks with him all the time. You aren't making your president very happy. Oh yeah, Obama also appointed Mary Schapiro to head the SEC. This after she failed to catch Bernie Madoff in a case that many said should have been easy to detect.

They continue to block alternate forms of energy to keep us dependent on oil. Are you familiar with the protests trying to block that pipeline? Hear of shale and the gas that can be unlocked? Hear of Solyndra? Maybe if these alternate forms of energy were practical and not expensive, a private company would be all over the distribution of the product and be making money off of it. Oh damn, I said that bad word. Profit.

They continue to block generic forms of medicine that could save people’s lives in order to protect investments that have already turned a substantive profit. Do you have a clue how much money is invested in developing drugs that are effective? Maybe if you rode your rainbow money pooping unicorn all around Wall Street the cash for the drugs would fall out.

Bottom line is simple for everyone that is protesting basically nothing. Stop using your credit cards. Stop using debit cards. Stop applying for student loans, car loans, personal loans, home equity loans, and mortgages. What you want is a cash society. Nothing is stopping you from choosing that path. Start saving that money for when you walk into the car dealership to buy your next vehicle. In 5 years. Start planning your train trip because airlines won't take cash. Hell, Joe Biden will thank you for using Amtrak. Clear up your bar tabs too. Man it is going to be rought getting your bottle service next time. When your taxes go up because your city/town/village can't sell municpal bonds because Wall Street has been shut down, be thankful if a copy shows up because, well, he isn't getting paid. Hope your house doesn't burn down. Get ready to teach your own kids, and hope a water main doesn't break.

And when your parents complain about how their investments went into the toilet, think about the time you spent in New York and why you are still living with them in their basement.

And get that garden started. You may need that for bartering.

4 more Oktoberfest to talk about

2011-10-03T20:12:00.002-05:00

I took off for the weekend. Before hitting the road I stopped in the liquor portion of the grocery store to grab some beer. I knew they had a separate Oktoberfest display that would have some brews that would interest me. What I didn't know was it would take me some time to make a decision.

I quickly grabbed the Lakefront Oktoberfest. This year's batch was highly recommended. Plus, I am dedicated to giving Lakefront a second chance. Lots of people in the Milwaukee area love this local brewery. For the most part, I haven't been really impressed by them. They make some good beers but nothing that definitely wows me. Plus, I usually find their beers to be inconsistent. They taste different every couple months, like there is a quality control.

That was my opinion for quite a while. I am glad I am giving them a second chance as the Oktoberfest lived up to the hype. It was very good. Malty and smoothe, with great body. Drink it while you can.

The second six-pack took me a couple minutes to choose. I could have grabbed Capitol Brewery or Schells. I was tempted to grab the cheaper Berghoff but changed my mind. I didn't want to ruin my weekend with a cheaper beer being exactly that, cheap!

I was about to grab the Schells when I noticed the German beers. I am drinking Marzens. Why not get one from the homeland? I chose the Spaten over the Becks. And I think I made the right choice. It was just as good as the Lakefront. Full body and malty. I was in heaven drinking it.

I did grab one other beer that needs to be mentioned. On the top shelf was a Paulaner beer in a big German drinking stein. I saw that and thought I needed to buy the beer just for the glass. I could drink like a real Oktoberfester out of the giant mug. The beer that came with it was the Paulaner Oktoberfest Bier. The difference was this wasn't a Marzen; it was a Wiesn. Poured a golden color and was rather light. Not the Marzen I was looking for but still ok. I do have one big ass drinking glass though!

I would also enjoy the Capitol Oktoberfest at a bar on Saturday night. It was good but not memorable. I think I'll need to give it another shot as I had a couple in me. But then again, if it was that good, I think I'd have still remembered that.

Better news to me is a local pub just tapped the Ayinger Oktoberfest. Another highly rated brew for me to enjoy.

Time to update my Oktoberfest summary. I've decided to get rid of the individual ranking as it is too hard to rank them like that. Let's simplify it:

Best of 2011: New Glarus Staghorn

God damn that is good! Get me another!

Flying Dog Dogtoberfest

Tyranena Gemutlichkeit

Lakefront Oktoberfest

Spaten Oktoberfest

Good to drink if they don't have anything else.

Great Lakes Oktoberfest

Capitol Oktoberfest

I think I'll have a Miller Lite instead.

Hinterland Oktoberfest

Central Waters Octoberfest

3 Oktoberfest to discuss

2011-09-24T19:16:00.003-05:00

I made an error in judgment yesterday. I went in blind to a bar instead of drinking at one where I knew the menu. On a whim I went with the wild card instead of the tavern I had scouted. It totally derailed my Marzen Mission.

What are the odds of going into 3 separate bars and finding the only Oktoberfest beer they would have either on tap or bottle would be the same beer from Ohio? 3 bars that have at least 30 different beers to serve and each one would have Great Lakes Oktoberfest on tap? That just blew.

Great Lakes Oktoberfest is a good beer. I am not knocking the brew but the surprising lack of choice I had encountered. The Great Lakes was smooth, not sweet, and the right kind of maltiness. One that I would recommend you try if you come across it.

The other beer I had was the Hinterland Oktoberfest. I found this one to be a little disappointing. It seemed thin. Not really malty, a bit sweet but lacking in body. It smelled good but the head dissipated quickly. I had hoped for a bit more from them.

Let me toss in some comments on another Marzen I had last week, Flying Dog's Dogtoberfest. Very good. It has everything you want in your Oktoberfest. Very refreshing and a solid brew from one of my favorite breweries.

So here is a rough scorecard of how the beers rank so far.

New Glarus Staghorn
Flying Dog Dogtoberfest
Tyranena Gemutlichkeit
Great Lakes Oktoberfest
Hinterland Oktoberfest
Central Waters Octoberfest

Other beers I look forward to drinking in the near future are from Lakefront, Summit, Ayinger, Spaten, Capitol, and Bells.

Staghorn has set the bar

2011-09-23T14:18:00.002-05:00

Ah, it’s that time of the year. The leaves will be changing and the temperatures dropping. Along with that comes the Marzen season. Or as they call it here, Oktoberfest beer season. A time to life that sweet marzenbier to your lips and take a big drink.

The Oktoberfest style seems to have gained in popularity over the last couple of years as more craft brewers get in the game. That benefits us, the beer drinker. But be careful with what you drink. Just because it is a marzen, doesn’t mean it is that good.

For example, the first Oktoberfest I had this year was from Leinenkugel’s. Yeah, they are the little brother of Miller but they do make some good beers once in a while. Sadly, this year’s Oktberfest wasn’t one of them. Last year it was pretty good. This year, it fell flat. It lacked body. It lacked flavor. It just lacked anything.

I had that one a couple weeks back. It just about put me off of wanting any Oktoberfest beers this year. That would be tough because I like my marzenbier. Hell, I like saying marzenbier. Thus it wouldn’t take long before I’d get back on the horse and sample another.

A week and a half later I was driving out to camping and stopped in at Tyranena to partake in their Oktoberfest, Gemutlichkeit. Damn that was good. But I already talked about that excusion here.

That happened when I came across a list from my Twitter feed. I clicked on through and saw a list of 9 great Oktoberfest beers. The one that jumped out at me was the New Glarus Staghorn. I had some last year and didn’t recall how it was. So after spending a half day working in a warehouse as a volunteer, I decided that I deserved a reward and stopped into Bert’s to see if I could grab a six pack of the Staghorn there. Sweet baby Jebus they had one left!

I could help but notice they had some others I wanted. Breckenridge’s Autumn Ale, Hinterland Oktoberfest, and Summit’s version as well. Sadly, they didn’t have Lakefront, the other I had been looking for.

When I got home and popped the cap off the Staghorn bottle, I was feeling a bit giddy. It poured a nice copper color, with a sweet malty aroma. Mmmmm. Better yet, it tasted even better. I would drink 5 of those last night. Each one tasted better than the previous. This is a definite winner.

But as I drank them down, I thought of the other beers on the list. Yes, that list I did not link because I couldn’t find it again. But I can tell you that the brewers above were on it. As well as Bells and Great Lakes. After a little searching, I see some bars by me have these beers available.
My mission for the next couple of weeks is to focus on drinking Oktoberfest beers until they are gone. I want to drink as many different ones as I can. I won’t turn my back on other beers during this mission, but will grab a marzen if it is one I haven’t had yet, or one that was really good.

I’ll try to keep them updated as I go. I suggest you do the same. All I know is that the New Glarus Staghorn has set the bar pretty high. It will be tough for any to beat it. Even some of the authentic German brewers like Hacker Pschorr and Hofbrau.

Hope you have time. Its a schong post

2011-09-20T10:13:00.002-05:00

What is with all the dick talk on TV nowadays? I watched 4 shows yesterday. 3 of them had direct comments about penis. Granted, most of it was done in a funny manner and I wasn’t offended in the least. But I still wondered, when did standards loosen up that dick jokes are funny enough for the masses?
Technically I should state it started last week. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, a show that may have created, but as least brought to new heights the term “bag of dicks”, kicked off the season with the use of “dickskin” in the premier. I watched the show on Sunday. I guess the prompted me to call a friend “dickskin” the rest of the day. If there is one thing It’s Always Sunny will do beside make you laugh, it will shock you with the content a couple times during its run.
Another show I had recorded and finally got around to watching was Louie. Other people I know love Louis CK and had rave reviews about his show. I understand why. It is funny. The show I watched from this weekend was hilarious in that awkward Louie way. I can’t remember the beginning exactly but as I recall he was on stage doing a bit about how his kids wake up early and how they wake him up. That he could be in a great dream, getting his dick sucked by some awesome dick sucking being and the kids would wake him up and ruin it. Oh, soon Steven Wright would tell him he had to wait around the venue so he would get laid because he had killed it. Soon, a lady in a car would tell Louie that she wanted to show him her pussy. That phrase would get repeated a couple of times. But the show started with dick talk. Hey, I don’t want to drift off the topic.
Let’s move on towards How I Met Your Mother. One character is worried that a video of him being drunk and running around naked will prevent him from getting a job. Comments are made about him being endowed, snakes, etc. Even a show on at 7pm on regular TV can have dick talk in it. Louie and It’s Always Sunny are at least on cable and televise at 9:00. Sure this dick talk was tamer than the cable variety. They did say the word dick, but still, they are talking dick.
Next was the premier of Two and a half Men without Charlie Sheen. Yeah, I bought into the hype. I was curious to see how they killed him. What I watched was a vindictive opening that really wasn’t that funny. Actually, the whole episode wasn’t really funny. A lot of that ended up with Kutcher’s character finding ways to get naked so Alan could comment about him being hung like an elephant and allowing other female characters to stand mouth agape as he was naked in front of them. They tried to get as much mileage out of dick as they could possibly get. But here was the kicker. After referring to his schlong all episode, Kutcher walks up the stairs at the end and they blurred his ass. Really? You talk dick for 28 minutes and decide to you can show a guy’s butt on the air? Silly.
Then there was the final show of the night, 2 Broke Chicks. Ok, they didn’t talk dick here, but they kept up with the sex jokes. In the first scene, a waitress disappears in the back and is getting nailed in the cooler. We know this as we hear her and see some shelving rocking back and forth. Yet she still manages to hand up some horseradish sauce. When the other waitress goes out to the dining room, a customer asks where their waitress is. As we here he climax, the girl gives the most obvious line, one you could see from a mile away. Such crappy writing.
Later, one girl would be doing dishes and get distracted by the boyfriend of the other. The water would overflow the sink and go on the floor. The boyfriend takes off his shirt to show off his abs and wipes the floor. In the process, he stands up and presses against her slightly. She whimpers that he is getting her wet. Now we know the innuendo here. But the problem is she doesn’t react to her ass getting wet from the sink. Instead we have one very weak sex joke.
So what is the conclusion of all the dick talk on TV? Leave it to the cable people. They know how to keep it funny and shocking. Can we strike that deal?

We are better

2011-09-12T08:47:00.002-05:00

Over the past week, some people I truly respect have written some interesting posts about 9/11. Most of them expressed how dire and pessimistic our country has become. These posts have kind of bothered me as I read and think them over.
The first one that kicked it off was from Otis at Rapid Eye Reality. I am not going to argue with what he has written. I think he has many good points. There are so many things we as a community could do better.
Yet, I think he missed out on many better ones. He forgets the heroes who acted selflessly on that day. The soldiers who go off to defend our country, spending years away from their families. The millions of dollars Americans have given to other countries when natural catastrophes happen. Haiti, Thailand, Japan to name a few. It is American warships that usually respond first giving aid to those in need.
Another friend, Dan, who happens to be a great writer said today how much he hates what this country has become. Again, this country still has its issue but not as bad as he thinks. We have made great strides over the past 10 years. Are we worse off? I don’t think so. We do have problems that simply put no one has the balls to solve. Take for example Social Security. Explain to me why I can’t have money I am paying in go into an account that has MY NAME on it and will be around for me when I retire. That is too drastic for some and the cries of “privatization” of the system are spewed out. Instead when I retire I can expect to get 90 cents on the dollar of what I have paid in. Those coming out of college, if they can get a job, will get maybe 70 cents. Sounds like a great system we can have just chug along, huh?
Maybe that is the optimist in me. I look for the good. When the bad is there, it is a matter of making it better. Many people can sit back and criticize what they are seeing and what people are doing. If you don’t like it, then do something about it.
And therein lies the problem. As I said, I have been thinking about this for the last couple of days. I have been wondering how I could put out a sort of rebuttal without sounding insulting or saying that they are flat out wrong. It is hard because, again, I agree with the majority of their points. I think this article cleared it up for me. Triumph of the Normal.
Then it struck me. It seemed like the people that quickly agreed and nodded their heads in unison with the articles were all liberally minded. They wanted something big to happen from this crisis. And in their minds, nothing did. Yet, something big did. We got back to living our normal lives.
Now there was a second event just under 3 years ago. Another event that was supposed to transform our country. Like 9/11, they thought it would bring people together and we would be united as a country. That hasn’t happened either. Maybe that is the root cause of these articles. People have felt let down by Obama. Some will say that is a stretch but think about it. He touched so many people and gave them hope. That hasn’t worked out like they expected. Our country is in the doldrums and yet it looks like our politicians care more to bicker about elections than doing what is best for the country. The new jobs plan is the same plan that was touted 2 years ago. It didn’t work then so why would it work now?
So what do you do about it? That is up to you. I can only do what I have been doing. Over the past 10 years I have been donating more money to charity. Over the last 3 years I finally have committed to volunteering more time to causes I believe in. A little effort can go a long way. I am not sitting in judgement of anyone here. I jus think that we can all sit back and write about what is wrong or we can begin to do something about it. I prefer the latter.

Too much too quick

2011-09-07T19:33:00.003-05:00

Man, I feel like crap. I guess I ate too much, too quickly. But I couldn't help myself. I was hungry.

I started making some chili before heading out to mow the lawn. I could get the grass cut and come back inside for dinner. Great idea!

I am not sure how much grass grew. When is the last time we had a good rain fall? Hell it looked like only part of the lawn had grown and it was uneven at that. I'll just get it done and soon it will need just one more cut before it snows.

Ugh.... snow.

Lawn finished, I ran back inside and scooped out a bowl of chili. Oh it looked so good. Tossed some cheese on top along with some Frank's Red Hot and I was digging in. Until I burnt my mouth. It was way too hot to eat. That only slowed me down. A little blowing on each spoon and was filling my pie hole.

When the bowl was done I figured I'd have one more. Bad idea. I got half way through and began to fill ill. Now an hour later, I still feel sick. Oh to have some Rollaids in the house.

Plans

2011-08-31T09:06:00.002-05:00

I am not much of a planner. Unless there is something really important and meaningful, I rarely know what I am doing during a given month. This coming month is no different.

It's Labor Day weekend. A time for people to invite friends over and get in that last cookout. Me? I have nothing planned. I'll probably find a festival and go hang out with friends while listening to music.

Or go to Hooters to eat chicken wings and watch the Brewers.

Looking out, I only have a couple things on my calendar. Volunteering at Tyranena in October. Vegas in December. And the last week of the year to stay away from work. That sums up my 4th quarter.

Sure some things will be added. Hopefully Brewers playoff games will be in the mix. Whether I'll be eating chicken wings or be at Miller Park is to be seen, but I think the future has that in store for me.

Let's get lawyers off our TVs

2011-08-29T20:28:00.002-05:00

I just don't get it. There are some things you can't do during a television commercial. You can't drink alcohol. You can't smoke cigarettes. You can't show any naughty bits.

What you can do is lie. Truth in advertising? Ha! Show me a commercial from a lawyer and tell me with an honest face that they are being truthful.

It seems like you can't watch any show on local TV without being bombarded with lawyers trolling for business. Some will say insurance companies are dishonest and full of bullies. Some will try to convince you that some medication you took while pregnant harmed you. Some will say that hip transplant was faulty. Some are going after priests, trying to convince you that somewhere, sometime long ago, you were molested in church. Some even have washed up actors singing their praises in the same canned commercial shown across the country but with names changed for the respective market.

Each one of these lawyer is making a case against some deep pocket defendant before you even speak with them. Each commercial is misleading. Each one is made to get you thinking you deserve money because of certain circumstances. Each one promises big bucks.

Big bucks for the lawyer that is. Let's not act like they are doing this out of the bottom of their hearts. They are chasing ambulances in 30 second spots. I'd like for it to stop.

What does it take to get these commercials to stop? Tort reform? Legislation to stop these ads? Anyone know?

An outdated model

2011-08-25T19:20:00.003-05:00

Public sector union members were back in the Capitol whining again. Apparently today is the first day they had to pay into their retirement accounts and insurance programs. In other words, they were treated like all other employees in the private sector.

I say the problem lies in with the unions that represent them. Much like many unions in the private sector, they are working with an outdated business model. They act like it is still the 50s and 60s. What worked then doesn't work now. You are working with a world business model, not a country business model. It is a global economy after all.

Even today, they rather fight a company that work with them. That is something that makes absolutely no sense. They prefer confrontation instead of collaboration. The union mentality is still to whine, fuss, cry, and stomp about. Do not give an inch. If the money isn't there, stay firm and make the company give in. If they threaten to move jobs to another state or country, call their bluff. Then go on strike!

Thing is, that doesn't work. Companies will move the jobs to a friendlier climate. Why was Mercury Marine willing to shift production to Oklahoma from Wisconsin? The workforce was going to give them the flexibility the modern factory needs. Same with Harley Davidson. They could move production to Pennsylvania and Kansas City where they could save money. In both cases, the unions were against the deal that the company offered. Thankfully, union members were smart enough to take the deal against the advice of union leadership.

The answer for this is quite simple. Unions need to work on quality, not quantity of its members. Companies will pay good employees an above average wage. Many people will scoff at that suggestion but is is true. Culvers is a good example. They have always paid above the minimum wage because they want to attract a workforce they know will work hard and that they can reward.

If a company wants to skimp on pay, they will find themselves with the worst workers. Good employees will move to jobs that pay better and offer a better work environment. That is how the job market works.

Of course the unions could take it one step further and push for profit sharing but if that happened, then the union really wouldn't be necessary. Much the reason for fighting management instead of working with them. They rather use the outdated model of fighting instead of proving that their workforce is the most valuable asset the company has.

Rain can be appropriate

2011-08-23T20:11:00.003-05:00

It was not the way I want to spend my day. Working from home in order to attend a funeral service in the middle of the day. With it raining outside.

Sadly, my friend's father passed away suddenly. Having lost my mother just 3 months ago, I knew she would be in bad shape. Must worse than I went through. We were able to plan ahead. My friend was not.

I always thought rain is the appropriate weather for when you need to go to a funeral. Like tears from the sky, it washes away sadness. It fits the mood you are in. Better yet, if the clouds clear up for the sun to come out, it is like a new beginning.

The church was just over a mile from my house. I wore a grey suit with a blue shirt. As I left my house I thought it was time to get a new suit soon. At the church I would feel overdressed. It seems that funerals are becoming a more casual affair in Milwaukee. Not being judgmental here, just observational. People should wear what they are comfortable in. For me, I was raised to believe this was more of a formal affair. Thus I tie'd up.

The service itself was short and to the point. I like that. The best part was at the very end. A longtime friend got up to say some words about the buddy he had just lost. It was a fitting tribute. I can only hope someone says such kind words at my funeral.

My sympathies to my friend and her family. Hopefully your pain goes away as the memories stay forever.

Beer and camping

2011-08-21T17:27:00.002-05:00

I returned from a pretty good weekend at camp. The site was Lake Kegonsa State Park by Madison, Wisconsin. I like this particular park for a number of reasons. The sites are spacious, the lake isn't too far away, and the firewood is usually pretty good.

Oh, I should also mention that I get to drive by the Tyranena Brewery in Lake Mills when we camp at Lake Kegonsa. That means stopping in to fill up the growler as I enjoy a couple of beers at their tasting room. This time around I was able to try their Gemutlichkeit Oktoberfest. It was rich and malty. Too strong for some palates but I found it to be just right for the occasion.

Meanwhile at the campsite, things were mostly quiet. Lots of relaxing at the campsite as my friend Ben tried to cook an apple pie on the Weber grill. It took some time but he did succeed in the end. Quite a feat in my eyes.

One thing I'll need to remember next time we go camping. That is not to graze on all the food that makes it way out during the day. I end up snacking all day before piling on a meal. Then I feel sick for the next couple of hours. It really kills the drinking mood. So next time I act like a normal day and not eat umpteen million tiny millions during hte day.

Pink Donut Theory

2011-08-16T08:55:00.000-05:00

Donuts and the office. They go together like salt and pepper. Peanut butter and jelly. The Dallas Cowboys and football.
It is always a pleasure to see someone bring in some donuts. Yet some people are guilty of a flawed process in the donut selection. Or should I say, lack of selection. See the worst thing one can do when buying donuts is to let the person working the counter choose the donuts. When you let the donut server choose which bits of bakery go into the box, you are going to end up with the donuts that do not sell as well.
That means you are guaranteed to get a pink donut.
No one around here likes the pink donut. The pink donut is going to end up being the last donut in the box. Rarely eaten, it is destined to hit the garbage. I know this from experience. I first observed the pink donut phenomenon years ago. It has stuck with me ever since. Now I can’t help but take a look into donut boxes around the floor to verify the pink donut has been left behind.
The led to the Pink Donut Theory. That is it guaranteed to be the last donut in the box. Since I have explained the Pink Donut Theory to fellow co-workers, they have marveled in the way that baked good is left behind.
Of course this leads me to one of my greatest fears. That some smart ass will bring in a box of pink donuts just to spite me. I hope that day never comes.

Dread

2011-08-15T19:24:00.002-05:00

I got to thinking today as I drove to get a haircut. Is there anything I may despise more than getting a haircut?

Yeah, getting a haircut isn't a big deal. It just seems like a big waste of time. You sit down. You are asked how you want it cut and then the awkward small talk starts. It is usually awkward no matter how many times you have been to the barber shop. I go roughly every two months so the guy would take about 10 minutes to remember who I was.

Now the women that I have cut my hair go through the different talk. They may ask about baseball or football but that doesn't go anywhere. So we end up on what is going around the city. If it was a meaningful conversation I would have no qualms. That is the pain of having to find someone new to cut my hair.

As I said, I was thinking about this as I drove to get my haircut. I was thinking of other activities I dread. Having to mow the lawn was one of them. Let me clarify. I don't mind mowing the lawn. It is when the weather doesn't cooperate or you have plans that force you get the grass cut in a certain time period. If you miss the window, it could be another couple of days, or worse, the city comes by and fines you for not cutting it.

Kinda like the same thing with snow. I don't mind shoveling or cleaning the sidewalks. I do hate it when you have to get out there late at night because the plow came by. You risk having it freeze if you wait until the next morning. Then you are hacking away, getting all sweated up before having to go to work. I can do without either thought.

Gentile Summit 2011 Day 2

2011-08-10T20:02:00.003-05:00

For me, the whole point of GS 2011 was to show the boys some good bars in my neighborhood and to tailgate in the parking lot at Miller Park before a Brewers game. I had taken care of goal one and was ready to take on the task of goal 2.

But I had one problem. I lost the boys. Woke up Saturday morning and the place was empty except for Heather. I had left the front door open with the porch light on but there was no sign of them. So I did what any grown man would do. I went about my business. Got some breakfast, checked out the farmers market, cleaned up and waited for people to call to be bailed out.

The Rooster did show up a couple hours later. Soon we were packing the Rogue and heading out to the ~~ballpark~~ store to get more beer. Hey, the last thing you want to do is run out of beer in the parking lot. Not only is that annoying but it is embarrassing.

Once we had some other stuff we headed to a bar by the stadium. But Long Wong's was closed. WTF? Closed on a big baseball weekend? Pfft! So we went to Kelly's Bleachers instead. Had a couple of beers there until Jeff, Chad, and Tim showed up. We laid out plans for where they could expect to find us in the lot and we were off.

Molitor 2. Right by Hwy 41. That is where we ended up. 2nd car from the end which is a great tailgating spot. You have a bit more room because the 1st car is going to take up the space along side their car, thus you get some more space behind your car. Rooster got serious about grilling so I got out of his way. He had the coals going in no time flat. He had a hankering for hot Italian sausages so those got on first, soon to be followed up with brats that had been soaking in beer. Speaking of which, we had enough to go around. Yuengling, Sierra Nevada, O'so, Lagunitas, New Glarus, Gray's, Modelo. I think that covers it. Cooler was filled with beer and ice. Life in the lot doesn't get much better.

Soon we were wandering into the stadium. We had bleacher seats in the right field. I was a bit concerned about where they were. I had to buy them on Stub Hub. Once I got them and printed them up, I noticed it said ADA on them. At first, I panicked and was horrified to think I might have tickets sponsored by the American Dental Association. They used to sponsor the Family Section. I searched the Miller Park site and was relieved to see they weren't Family Section. But I still wondered what ADA was.

Got up to the seats and asked the usher exactly where we were. He pointed to the top section. Called it the "Queen's Box". Ah, ADA. American Disability Act. We had individual folding chairs at the top of the bleachers. Actually, this worked out quite well as we had our very own seating area! Later, we would make it on ESPN as Prince Fielder would crush a home run right above us and slightly to the right. You can see me standing there in my blue jersey and tan shorts.

Brewers won easily and we were out the door looking to drink some more. Once again we had lost the boys. Got a text to meet them downtown. So we did meet up at Rock Bottom. Had a couple of there before going to some country bar. Can't believe that I waited to get into a bar in Milwaukee. That just ain't right. From there, things get hazy. I just recall waking up in the spare bedroom.

In the end, I think I accomplished everything I had set out to go. Showed the boys some good bars, good tailgating, and good baseball. They were amazed by how cheap the beer was. I was happy to see everyone again.

I just might have to try and do this again some day.

Gentile Summit 2011

2011-08-02T19:26:00.002-05:00

It appears our small crowd had a pretty good time in Milwaukee this weekend. My goal was simple. To show them some good bars, how to tailgate, and the beauty of Miller Park.

I think I succeeded at all 3. Knocked one out of the park if you will.

No surprise here. We got off to a slow start as the Rooster missed a connection. He spent the previous night partying in New York. In true Rooster fashion, he kept going until his flight left at something like 6 am. What he didn't know was that as he slept on the plane, the plane slept on the tarmac for an hour. Thus he missed his flight in Chicago.

No big deal. Got him around 12:30 and headed out for lunch at the Horny Goat Hideaway. The weather was beautiful as we sat by one of the canals of the Milwaukee River.

After lunch we headed to one of the bars I really like in Bay View, Burnhearts. A craft beer bar in the middle of a neighborhood with lots of boobs on the wall. Tasteful boobs mind you. Everyone seemed to really like Burnhearts. It was either the beer selection or the shuffleboard that did the job. We ended back there later on Friday night.

After a couple hours at Burnhearts, we hit up the Blackbird. A place know for its Wisconsin beer list, I figured the pinballs and video games would help entertain people if things seemed slow. Plus it didn't hurt that Chad and Tim- the Minnesota contingency- loved playing trivia at bars.

We got in some bags/cornhole at my house before dinner. We dove into the beer in my fridge. Knocked out a couple of bombers from Lagunitas and pounded the Yuengling before eating at the St. Francis Brewery. Heather wanted a fish fry so I had to deliver a fish fry. This one seemed to work.

I can't recall too much from there. I recall playing more shuffleboard and feeling pretty damn drunk.

tbc

Head on collision

2011-07-25T19:34:00.003-05:00

When I got home from work, I made what I thought was a rational decision, but in hindsight, was one I would regret. I decided to grab my bike and ride along the lake instead of cycling while watching last night's episode of Entourage. With that choice, a butterfly would never be the same.

I had barely biked a half mile when I began to regret my decision. The Oak Trail bike path runs north-south along Lake Michigan. As I began my trek south I noticed a headwind. It wasn't too terrible but I could tell it would make the 5.5 leg south a pain in the ass.

Maybe pain in the ass is selling it short. When I hit the nastiest hill it killed me. The wind took away any momentum from the smaller hill on the flat path. By the time I hit the nasty hill I was frantically downshifting to find a gear that would be comfortable. That still drained my battery by the time I got to the top. Even from there is a slow incline to the end of the segment.

The rest of the trek south wasn't too bad. Rode past a cute blonde jogger. Sadly didn't see her on the way back. Saw a bag of garbage with a teddy bear in it. I don't want to know what happened there. Came across some asshole who doesn't understand that when encountering a bike coming at you, you should move behind your girlfriend instead of staying next to her. 3 across on this trail is tight. I should have kicked the mofo over.

But that all paled in comparison to the head on collision I had after getting by the mofo. I went around the bend and BOOM! I ran head on into an innocent butterfly. I was ok but I am pretty sure that butterfly flew off with a limp. I hope he survives the night.

Thankfully the ride back was much smoother. Sometimes it feels like the wind changes direction and you are riding into it both ways. I was happy to feel it at my back. About the only thing I had to deal with was the guy in the recumbent tricycle. Though he was doing a good pace, he was hogging the path. I had to wait for a good straight way before I could get by him. I must say I was tempted to draft him all the way back.

Next time I bring the mp3 player and listen to music. It may make things go by even quicker.

A firkin' good time

2011-07-24T17:50:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was the 2nd annual Milwaukee Firkin Fest. The beer makers of Milwaukee, along with selected breweries from throughout the state, gathered in Cathedral Square to share their craft.

There were close to 100 beers being served on this humid Saturday. For some it was a trick to keep the beer cold. For others, it made a huge difference in how the beer tasted. But all in all, it was a good time to walk around and sample a good number of beers.

I don't know if there was a single "best" beer. There were a number of very good ones. For example, Potosi had a very nice oatmeal stout. Chameleon- a shoot off of Sprecher- had a nice fruit infused wit, and Vintage Brewing had a very nice weisse. Lakefront brought along their Cherry Lager which is very solid.

There were a couple of beers that fell short. St. Francis Brewery had a coconut brown ale that was flat. It may have been harmed by the heat. This needed to be colder to taste better. Not sure what was up with the Sprecher cherry lambic. It was too sour and just didn't taste good.

What may have been the best part of the event was speaking with the guys from Potosi. They explained how the brewery is set up as a non-profit organization and how they must distribute any profits to the charities of their choosing. These guys believe in making their beer help others. Plus it didn't hurt that they have a good lineup to serve.

I did notice one thing that will help prepare for any future beer samplings. The pretzel necklace. People were walking around with pretzels draped around the necks. It was a simple but effective idea to cleanse the palate and soak up some of the beer in the belly. One couple explained how they get their kids to string up the pretzels for them. This is an idea I will need to use in the future.

Wilderness Brewing

2011-07-20T14:05:00.002-05:00

This is an interesting concept I have seen before. Kickstarter helps companies get off the ground by assisting with the fundraising. I have seen numerous brewers on here before but this one jumped out at me. Give the video a view and maybe you'll want to help them out.

Wilderness Brewing.

Back on the trail

2011-07-12T20:13:00.002-05:00

I think it has been 2 years since I last grabbed my bike and went for a ride on the trail along Lake Michigan. I am not sure why I had stopped. Why I had traded in a Trek for a stationary bike and reality TV. Guess it was simpler.

I am glad I got the bug in my head. Or should I say my mouth. The bug in my head was the urge to get the bike out, fill the tires with air and go ride again. The bug in my mouth was what happened after riding for just 3 block. I figured at roughly 12 blocks per mile and 11 miles to ride, I was going to swallow about 10 bugs. Yum!

It didn't take long to get used to the bumps along the trail. Before I began the ride I was dreading the hills along the way. There are really 3 big ones. But there are a lot of slow inclines that you don't notice until you hit them and are pumping your legs like mad as you downshift.

The first 2 hills were a piece of cake. Number 1 is especially easy as you get some good speed going down a hill and can easily grind up. Actually it is easy because it happens right away and you have all kinds of energy. The second hill can be the worst as it is the steepest and come about a mile and a half later.

It is the last hill that is a real bitch. Not only is it a short steep hill but at the stop you make a 90 degree turn and then the climb continues up. This is after riding for about 9 miles. Energy is spent. Plus the wind may be blowing against you making you cuss out its existence.

The trail itself hasn't changed much. I noticed a couple differences. Branches were hanging low. I assume budget cuts are the cause. Not a big deal as you can duck your way through. They also removed the exercise equipment that was probably installed in the 80s. You know, the pull up bars, sit up station, etc. They did install some route markers counting up the miles. Now if only I knew where #1 was.

The people on the trail were interesting. For once I didn't feel out of place as the only one riding without a helmet. I'd say roughly half the riders did not wear a helmet. If you are on the road I can understand riding with one, but on a trail, you are more likely to come around a blind turn and get freaked out by another rider. Then you'll kiss a tree head on so a helmet won't protect your body.

I did notice some interesting women. Came around one turn to see someone walking towards me. At a distance I thought it was some dude walking with his shirt off. As I got closer, I saw it was a woman wearing a flesh colored shirt. I was happy she had that shirt on. Could have been scary.

The other was was rather well endowed. I like how she leaned forward giving a view. I rode away thinking that was a nice bike rack.

The one dude that cracked me up was the husky guy with the tattoos. He was riding a dirt bike that was a bit small for him. I laughed as it looked like he was depressed that someone took his Harley away from him.

The ride today was nice. I look forward to making this a daily trip once again.

Summerfest thoughts

2011-07-10T13:41:00.002-05:00

Today is the last day of Summerfest. A week and a half of music and beer comes to a close.

I didn't venture down to the lakefront as much this year. Only 4 times. I found the musical lineup to be lacking. Not bad, just not my taste. There weren't any acts that I found to be worth checking out. Maybe that happens when the rock station doesn't play any new music, let alone, any new artists.

I did enjoy the Def Leppard show. Their act seems more mechanical than ever. A tight production that satisfies. I never knew they could say "yeah" so many times in their songs.

Heart opened for DL. The Wilson sisters do put on a good show. I can't tell you whether the guitar player in Ann or Nancy. I just know that one can sing and the other still plays a great guitar.

The only other show I wanted to see was the annual event that is Bobby Friss. You can rely on him playing good songs and having fun with the crowd.

The best surprise might have been the Big Gig IPA. One of Miller Brewing's craft units created the IPA just for Summerfest. It was pretty damn good. I heard that Leinie's had their own IPA but I never made it up there. Hell, I didn't even walk north of the main gate. Funny how that happened.

I did miss going down on July 4 with the gang It felt weird for the place to be closed and us not walking around the grounds, searching for good food and music. Hopefully the tradition is resurrected next year.

A Crued weekend

2011-06-27T19:07:00.002-05:00

Saturday night was like taking a step in the a time machine and going back to the 80s. Except I don't have hair like I used to and I could afford great seats. Those seats would be at the Motley Crue/Poison show at the Bradley Center.

It had been a while since I had seen Motley Crue. I didn't go the last couple of times they came to town. Not sure why that was. Especially when I have seen Poison every time they have played in the Beer City.

The Bradley Center isn't a great place to catch a concert. If you have seats in the bowl, you may see a good show but the sound may blow. If you are in the upper bowl, you can expect the show to sound like total shit as the sound waves bounce of the walls. Simply put, the acoustics are terrible unless you are on the floor right in front of the band.

Which is where I was. 14th row center. Not too shabby.

The New York Dolls went on stage just before 7. To be honest, I had never heard a song by the Dolls. I was aware of them being a leader of the original glam movement but was too lazy to go to YouTube and catch a tune. I didn't know what to expect except the best. They had to be touring with the Crue for a reason.

The reason was they put on a good show. I really enjoyed what they had to play. This one song stood out for me. Simple but good.

I may have to follow up and buy some music from these guys. Good stuff.

Poison would hit the stage 20 minutes after the Dolls finished. I was a bit surprised that they actually had a stage setup. They had ramps and ladders going around. Usually opening bands have their equipment set up in front of the main act. Instead Poison had a smaller version of their actual stage.

Even more amazing, they had pyros. Opening bands never get pyros but Poison did. It led to just about the best condensed show I had ever seen. Except for one thing. With a smaller set, you shouldn't waste time playing cover tunes. Not one but two of them on Saturday. WTF? Plus, they could have done without Brett Michaels playing that damn harmonica.

Other than that it was good stuff. 25 years after I first heard them and not much has changed. I still love me some Poison.

What do I need to say about Motley Crue. It was another classic Crue show. The original band is back together. Tommy Lee has some silly drum solo, this time a roller coaster set up that allow him to go in circles. Nikki Sixx got preachy. And Vince Neil sings half of the song. Hell, I think I have seen just one show where Neil actually sang the entire songs during a set. Usually it goes something like this: "lonely in.... night... blood stain...stage.. Tear in eye.. tempted lies... knife back rage!!!"

All in all it adds up to a night of good music with great memories. If they would come to town I would certainly do it again.

Karate Kid thoughts

2011-06-24T08:05:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was training day. As a general rule of thumb, I hate training days. They are usually a waste of time. They go over concepts that are discarded within months. It is rare anything sticks in the long term.

I guess that is why I have a cynical attitude when it comes to trainings. I want to get something meaningful out of it. Yesterday I did leave with a great takeaway:

I can kick my boss in the face if he tries to meddle with certain projects of mine.

I may be the only one who walked away with that nugget of knowledge and I hope to use it in the future. You know, just to show them my time was wasted.

I guess some background should be provided. The training was about leadership. It focused on recognizing what stage workers are at and what stage you should be at to help lead them. It focused on 4 levels:

Beginner- The eager beaver who knows nothing but wants to learn.

Mid-level- They know something. They think they know more than they go and thus get frustrated at times.

Veteran- They know what they are doing, but aren't in a position to make the final decision.

Go to guy- The subject matter expert. People come to you when they need the answer.

Along with these levels, they suggested how you should manager these kinds of people. Simply put:

Give the beginner direction.

Coach the mid-level through the tough times.

Support the veteran

Leave the go to guy alone. Delegate his duty to him and get out of the way.

So what the hell does that have to do with the Karate Kid? Good question. They used clips from the movie to show the different stages Daniel-san went through with Mr. Myagi as he learned.

When Daniel-san knew nothing, Myagi made him wash and wax the cars, sand the floors, and paint his yard. That dumbass Daniel-san didn't even realize he was being taught something.

Myagi coached him up when he threw a fit about doing all the work. He showed Daniel-san that he was learning the skills he needed but didn't realize it. Daniel-san has the light bulb go off in his head and walks away doing all the wax on wax off stuff.

Now we go to the competition. Daniel-san is a total pussy at the beginning of his first match, running off the mat. Myagi tells him to trust in himself and his skills. One kick to the gut and a chop to the shoulder blade and he wins.

And now the pay off pitch. Why you can kick your boss in the face. Daniel-san is in the finals. Myagi doesn't even say a word to him. Just looks at him and nods. He has total confidence in him getting the job done. One crane kick to the mush and the hobbled Daniel-san wins it all.

So think about the one task you do at work that you are the expert at. The thing that everyone comes to you to help solve their problems. And when your boss tries to butt in and say something, turn around and deliver your right foot to his dental work. You'll feel better and can claim the training paid off!

On a side note, what is with the blatant foul in that final match of the Karate Kid. The douchebag opponent of Daniel-san drops an elbow straight down on his leg and only receives a warning. WTF? Why wasn't he disqualified?* You can't do that shit in the UFC but it would be allowed at a kid's karate tournament? Ridiculous.

*Fuck off if your comment is "well then they couldn't set up the dramatic crane kick ending". With a thought process like that you shouldn't leave your home, let alone be allowed to go online.

Nature's rock opera

2011-06-21T19:17:00.002-05:00

A wicked storm made its way through Milwaukee today. It was just before 3:3o when I look out the window at work. A whole lot of ugliness was about to hit.

At first it was just windy. I noticed a rather large tree was getting bent pretty good. The wind had it looking like half a tree.

Soon the sky got really dark. I looked towards the east and could see the storm front moving through. The light clouds led the way as they headed towards the lake.

Then the rain started. It came down hard with a vengeance. Soon it was raining so hard you couldn't see 20 yards outside. Water was pouring down the roofs, making the downspouts bubble up as it tried in vain to handle the gallons of water rushing its way.

Lightening and thunder provided sound and visual effects to the storm. Big booming thunder followed the flashes of light. All I needed guitars and it could have been a rock opera.

After about 10 minutes, the rain began to let up. Soon normal visibility was back outside. To the west, the blue sky was returning. But not before many trees had been knocked down and streets flooded.

The storm made its way to the northeast meaning my home in the southwest didn't take the brunt of the storm. It rained but apparently wasn't too windy. I had expected to see branches down and leaves in the street. Instead things were clean.

Another wave is heading this way. I hope it isn't much worse than the afternoon storm.

Maybe I'll grab a beer and head out on the porch to watch nature's fireworks.

2011-06-19T19:32:00.000-05:00

How is it that a weekend of relaxing tires you out?

Finicky

2011-06-15T19:56:00.002-05:00

I feel like I am in a battle with my cat. The old fart is driving me a bit nuts.

The cat is old. Very old. He is getting very finicky in his age. One day he loves his cat food, the next he hates it.

He has dropped quite a bit of weight over the last couple of months. His fat self is now skinny. When you pet him, you can feel his ribs.

That is why I have been trying hard to find some food he will eat. Because of his stubborness, I have had to get him more canned food. I used to get it for just as a treat but he stopped eating the dry stuff that I had to do something because he wasn't eating and just drinking water. Oh, and projectile vomiting said water because he would drink too much.

I feel this is a sign that the end is near. I really hope not.

Back to the beginning

2011-06-12T13:40:00.001-05:00

Craft beers seem like they are everywhere nowadays. Even the simplest looking corner bar in Milwaukee has New Glarus Spotted Cow or some crap like Stella Artois on tap. I remember a time when that wasn't so. I call it college.

One year I recall coming home for the summer. I went out with a good friend to the bars. He said I should try something different. A beer called Sprecher. The Special Amber was brewed in true German style. I did and thought it was ok. It was a lot stronger than the Miller products I was drinking. The Black Bavarian? Ugh! I wasn't going near it.

Back in that day there was no New Glarus around these parts. No Lakefront. No Horny Goat. No nothing. Sprecher was your introduction to what would be called craft beers. Thank God that changed.

There was a period of time that I had stopped drinking Sprecher Special Amber. I thought the quality had dropped off a bit. It tasted too bitter and not malty enough. It seems that they have gotten back to making a better product. I enjoyed a number of ambers last night. They went down well.

I am a fan of their doppelbock and the hefe weiss. I am happy to put the Special Amber back on the list. Thanks Sprecher.

Viva the Alamo Drafthouse!

2011-06-09T07:46:00.002-05:00

I like it when small businesses have rules that piss people off. These policies are usually beneficial to everyone that patronizes the establishment. Yet there is always some pissant that thinks they are above it all.

I give you this idiot:

Beer tasting

2011-06-07T19:54:00.004-05:00

I attended a beer tasting this past Saturday. A bartender at the local pub was doing a fund raiser for a local athletic association. Fund raising and beer is something that I can relate to. Plus for a price of just $25, I could sample roughly 100 beers.

Giddy up!!!

The thing started at 5:30 and would go on to 9. The location was the gymnasium of one of the local churches. I had mentioned a beer tasting taking place at a church and heard many a chuckle from people that don't live in Milwaukee. Heck, I just thought it was as normal as a church holding a fish fry.

We walked in and were immediately greeted by a spunky little cute girl in a black dress. Oh, and a wheel barrow full of beer.

This was the grand prize of the night. Entry gave you one ticket while you could purchase more for $5 a pop. Yes, of course I bough more. Sadly enough I wasn't the winner.

But I did have a good time drinking beer and did walk out with something good in a silent auction. A Schafly shirt, Sierra Nevada hat, 2 bottles of Capital Brewing's Blonde Dopplebock, 2 Capital Supper Club glasses, and a bunch of key chains. Oh, I forgot the New Belgium Fat Tire sticker and a slew of temporary tattoos.

There were a number of good beers I had during the night. I wanted to try as many different beers as I could. The goal was to try new breweries while getting in some of my favorites.

Hands down, my favorite of the night was from a brewery in Illinois called Wild Onion.

Their Summer Wit was fantastic. Easily my favorite beer of the night. They had some other solid offerings in the Jack Stout and the Paddy Pale Ale. I have a Hop Slayer in the fridge which I just my pop open tonight to fend off the heat.

Other beers I can think of that impressed me were the Central Waters Mud Puppy Porter, Southern Tier Gemini, and the Reissdorf Kolsch. At least those are the ones I can recall without going to Pintly. Breweries enjoyed included Boulevard, New Glarus, Smutty Nose, Left Hand, Pyramid, Esser, Oskar Blues, Magic Hat, Sprecher, and Flying Dog.

They also had some Jeremiah Weed product and Crispin cider. Both were nice alternatives to beer when I needed to cleanse the palate.

Now I think I'll go try that Hop Slayer.

Celebrity weird dream

2011-05-31T20:36:00.003-05:00

I had intended to talk about more about the beer sampled on the Beer Circuit but I had another one of those crazy dreams last night. The dream was compounded by me waking up in the middle and somehow getting back to sleep right away and back into the dream.

Begin making wavy movements with your hands just like Wayne and Garth used to in the SNL skits and let the dream begin...

Instead of going into work, I went in for a job interview at a different company. My old boss had insisted I go and talk to this lady about an opportunity at a company in downtown Milwaukee. The lady was quite eager to talk to me. When I got to the office and told the secretary I was there, she immediately came through a door and said I didn't need to bother with the paperwork. She ten began to take me on a tour of the building.

There were a lot of people moving around the building as we walked through. Everyone really seemed to enjoy what they were doing. Problem was, I could tell they weren't really doing any work. In fact, as the lady talked about her company, she never told me what the job was that they were hiring for. She selling me on the company.

We walked around a couple of floors until she came to a spot in the middle of the floor. She mentioned that this was the one area of the entire building that they had messed up. She pointed to a spot where there were a lot of empty spiral magazine racks stacked into a side of the wall. She said they were already remedying the situation and that I should go take a look. As I approached the racks, I noticed people were lining up to get in towards the wall. At first I noticed a board touting a new fitness program at the company. There was an electronic sign in sheet underneath. But that wasn't what the people were muscling in for. There was another electric board next to it. That board showed the football pool for the week. The games were constantly changing as people picked their teams. She told me to go ahead and sign up since I was part of the team. I ended up taking Wisconsin -2 1/2. Don't ask who they were playing.

After I had signed up for the football pool I began to wonder what she meant by being part of the team. She said she'd talk to me more tomorrow. I left that day wondering if I had a new job.

I showed up the next day with no clue what I was supposed to do. When I asked for my "new boss", I was told that she was busy. I was then said to get comfortable and that I would fit right in. I had no clue what to do so I started walking around the building.

I must have wandered around for a good amount of time because the next thing I was doing was getting lunch. I went to the cafeteria and discovered a bunch of fast food stations. Not sure whether or not I had to pay for anything I just went up to a vendor and asked what they had. The vendor turned out to be Wil Ferrel. And he was being a total asshole to me. He wanted proof that I worked there. I wasn't given an ID yet so I couldn't prove anything. He kept hassling me but finally relented. He gave me a plate of fries and a bowl of chili. When I gave him a strange look about the food he started eating my fries. He then put his fingers in my chili. He was really beginning to piss me off.

I began to walk away with my food until I realized he hadn't given me my soda. I went back and asked for my drink. He said I didn't order one. I presented a receipt and he claimed I made it up myself. I was really pissed off now. I went and found a manager for the cafeteria. I told her what happened and she just laughed. She said I probably didn't want a soda and that I should just let it be.

I then figured the place out. No one was doing any work and getting away with it because no one wanted to rock the boat. No one wanted to be the one to enforce any rules. I was beginning to hope that was going to be my job. But first, I wanted some revenge.

I went back to Wil Ferrel and asked for my soda. He started lipping off, asking what was I going to do. I began to smash all the bags of chips on his counter. He began to protest. I egged him on a bit, asking him what he would do about it, tell his manager? I then began to give him uppercuts to the jaw. Each time I did, his head would fly into a bag of potato chips that was handing over his head.

I then woke up. Another pretty weird dream. But this one was entertaining. Hopefully I have another good one tonight.

Traveling the beer circuit

2011-05-30T19:55:00.003-05:00

A couple of months ago, a friend and I hatched this idea to spend a day traveling across Wisconsin to hit some of breweries and brewpubs in the state. It was a good idea. Something that sounded like a fun trip.

But to pull it off on a whim and hit the road in a matter of hours wasn't the best thing to try. We put it on the back burner and figured it would come up again somewhere down the line. Well, it actually did. But it wasn't with this particular friend; someone else thought to give it a try. In fact, I broke the news to the guy on Saturday and he was a bit upset. But I think he will like the results.

On Sunday morning we hit the road. This time there was a game plan. We had routes, 3 destinations, stops for gas and food, and some ok weather. Last minute changes didn't screw up the trip either. What was a simple trip east to go to Capital Brewery in Middleton, Ale Asylum in Madison, and Tyranena Brewery in Lake Mills, became a trip to the south as we were forced to replace Capital with New Glarus.

That might have even been for the better. What was a simple trip east became a nice beer circuit. We ended up driving through the countryside, albeit in the rain, and saw places we hadn't seen before. We drove through towns like Brooklyn and Belleville. By bigger places like Janesville and through the east side of Madison. It all ended up in downtown Milwaukee with more beer. A good trip if you ask me.

But one of the greatest things of the trip, is how smoothly it went. It took about 8 hours to hit these beer joints. Travel was about 230 miles. The places also seemed to be spaced appropriately. The long part was the two hour trip to New Glarus. From there it was about 50 minutes to Ale Asylum where a nice pizza made for a great snack. Just the right amount of food to satisfy hunger, but not take up any beer space. 30 minutes down the highway took us to Tyranena for the second to last stop and some good beer for the ride home. Dinner was at the Milwaukee Ale House where more beer was paired with food.

So now that the trip has been down, it must be improved. For example, the road to New Glarus took us close to Janesville. There is a nice little brewery down there called Grays. Hitting Grays en route to New Glarus works out perfectly.

Looking up north from New Glarus, a stop in Mount Horeb at the Grumpy Troll would be ideal for lunch. The route is easy and not going way out of the way. From there, one can go 15 minutes northwest to Middleton and hit Capital. The trip back home would inclue AA and Tyranena. The final stop in Milwaukee could be Lakefront or maybe Stonefly or Hinterland for food. Hell, I've already mapped some of this out.

There is one easy change to make. Do the trip on a Saturday and not a Sunday. Places are open later and you are not time constrained. If more breweries are added, the driver will be limited to one beer per place. Yes, he/she would still be drinking 6 quality beers but toss in water and soda while driving and they'll be fine. And a GPS system, whether dash mount or smartphone is essential. Especially if you take the scenic route.

I am not sure when the new improved circuit will be attempted, but I know I am up for the challenge.

Beer Slinger

2011-05-28T12:47:00.002-05:00

There are some jobs that seems like they would be a lot of fun but turns out they are not. Then there are some jobs that are a of fun when it isn't your regular job.

I think tending bar is one of those jobs for me. I enjoy serving drinks when I don't have to rely on doing so for income. The best money is made at night on the weekend, prime time when I want to be on the other side of a bar. But when the call is made, you just step up and help someone out.

I served beer last night at a local festival. It was easy. There were no cups or pitchers to fill. Just pulling plastic bottles out of the ice, collecting money, and keeping things clean. I did that for 4 1/2 hours yesterday. I had a good time but was happy to sit down when it was all over. Of course drinking for free all night was nice.

The band was ok. They played more rock music than country. What didn't make sense was all the dance music being played between sets. The people that were there to see the band would leave the tent and the kids would come in. When the band started up again, the kids left as the adults came back in. It was silly.

I glad to help a friend out. This may become an annual gig. I sure wouldn't mind helping out again.

Life goes on

2011-05-25T16:53:00.002-05:00

Everything went well yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised by who showed up. Friends, friend's parents, co-workers, relatives, relatives of relatives. It was nice to see some of these people again.

About the only thing that was bad yesterday was the food at the luncheon. Having watched enough episodes of Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef, I can tell you this stuff sucked. I think one of the dishes was beef stroganoff. It looked like shit in a buffet bucket. The meat was fatty, breaded, and had no flavor whatsoever. The rice dish was the same. Did the restaurant have a salt shaker in the kitchen?

After everything was done I headed out to get drunk. I ended up at the Milwaukee Ale House and sampled their beers. The Blockhead Brown ale was good. The dopplebock was ok. I didn't care for the Devil's Advocate, a Belgian dubbel ale. Too much orange peel made it taste like cough medicine.

Soon we were back in my neighborhood drinking at a bar that specializes in Wisconsin craft beers. I reunited myself with Capital Brewing's Blonde Doppelbock. Good stuff. After a couple more beers- and a spirited debate with the guy next to me regarding the teacher's union- we left to go back to my friend's house.

I woke up a bit groggy and thinking it was Thursday. Throughout the day I kept thinking it was Thursday. Each time I dropped an f-bomb and moved on.

I am not sure what I'll do the rest of this week. I have taken the suggestion of my boss and co-workers to take leave from work. I'll need to remember not to set my alarm on Sunday. I don't want to be the only one going to work on a holiday.

Thank you for the love mama

2011-05-23T08:27:00.003-05:00

My mom passed away Friday evening. It wasn't a sudden event. Her health hadn't been very good over the past year, but she kept fighting. A bout of pneumonia did her in. Well, that along with the lung cancer and emphysema. I, along with my sister, thought that she would be in the hospital for a week and be back with us again. Instead she went into the deep end and never came back.

It was a tough decision we (brother and sister) had to make on Friday. My mom had been on a respirator for the past week. All efforts to take her off of the machine had failed. The doctor and case specialist explained her condition. Her lungs simply weren't strong enough to function on their own.

Though you prepare yourself for the worst, the realization still hits hard. I knew my sister would be overcome with emotion. That is her way of dealing with things. Let it all out. My brother, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. He showed no emotion whatsoever. Being a physician, he encounters this. Still, it seems weird that he wouldn't show any feelings towards the eventual passing of his mother. Even as his wife weeped. If anything, my brother showed resentment towards her. Though it pissed me off I held my tongue.

Though I was prepared for this, I still broke down a bit. I am more like a pressure cooker. I keep it all inside. I become a bit distant and just want to be left alone. As needed, I let out bursts. After one final blow out, I try to find my zone. It seems cliche but yes, I did dive into the bottle. A little whisky helped me. I don't get drop down drunk. Just comfortably numb.

Eventually, I find ways to reconnect with the world. I guess even writing this is part of the healing process.

In my state of isolation, I spent the day listening to a lot of music and remembering my mom. There were more tears shed but they were also with a smile of my face. Thankfully I have no regrets with her. There is no "I wish I had told you how much I loved you" moment. I always told her. Of course I wish I could have had one last conversation with her. But I am still content with that.

I went into the spare room to take a look at the music CDs I had taken from the house.I recall a time in the late 80s when my mom became a metal head. Though she had some Whitesnake and Led Zeppelin, I recall her saying her favorite band was Ratt. I looked for the one disc she had from that band. After not finding it I realized I had stolen it many years ago. Detonator is the album title. I played it a couple of times before switching to Zeppelin. Music is the best medicine.

Funeral services are tomorrow. It feels kinda cruel. After a couple days of dealing with the sorrow and accepting it, you go and feel the sadness again for a day. Like ripping a bandage off the wound just before it was really healed up.

After all is said and done, I'll raise a glass to you and thank you again mom. For I give you a ton of credit for the successes I have had in life. I'll remember the beaming smile and pride you felt when we succeeded. I'll remember the support you gave us when we were down and needed help. And most importantly, I'll remember the love you gave me.

#losing

2011-05-17T19:47:00.003-05:00

The last couple of days have been pretty rough. Family issues are weighing me down. Worse is there is absolutely nothing I can do except wait to hear news.

I am hoping for the best but prepared for the worst. Its a no win situation. I can only hope to be strong now.

AGD

2011-05-16T13:49:00.001-05:00

Still one of the funnier shorts on SNL.

Bouncing back

2011-05-10T18:21:00.003-05:00

Today was kind of a weird day. I woke up around 3 in the morning, starting hack phlegm, went to work, felt better as the day went on, put the top down for the drive home, and then got in a bit of a workout. I even got the lawn mower going and decided not to mow the lawn.

I really should create an alarm clock that emits the sound of a cat puking. Nothing gets you out of bed faster than a cat puking. You are instantly awake when you hear that sound. Not that I was awake, I had trouble getting back to sleep. Some wheezing and coughing went on and soon my real alarm was going off. Crap!

Did some morning stretches and got on the road to work. I was a bit concerned that taking some stairs would leave me winded like I had been over the last couple of days. That was not an issue. Cool. Otherwise work was rather uneventful. I noticed how I felt much better as the day went on. No coughing until the end and that was after I made a comment to a coworker. Damn you Murphy!

The temperature drop from where I work to my home was 13 degrees. As always, I felt the drop in temperature as I passed by Miller Park. There was no breeze so going over the bridge at the lake was frigid.

I tried to get a workout in. I hoped for 30 minutes but had to settle for 21. I got real tired at the 18 minute mark and my lungs felt like they would explode. But it felt good in a weird way. I hope to expand on it tomorrow and be back on schedule by Friday.

My last goal for today was to get the lawn mower started. I tried a bit yesterday but the motor was giving me no response. If I couldn't get it going today I would be on the phone to Cookie Mike. On the second attempt it fired up! I then quickly decided I didn't want to mow the lawn today. Right now my grass is uneven. Some parts are long and need to be cut. Others need some weed and feed to kill the creeping Charlie. I can hold off on cutting the grass until the weekend.

I did fire up the weed wacker to make sure that was going to work. Got that going on the second attempt too. So I hit those high spots and called it a day.

Hopefully my friend Ben can help me with the fence mending and I will have accomplished everything I didn't have a chance to do this past weekend. This will give me plenty of time to celebrate American Craft Beer Week next week.

Heart attacks at 3 in the morning

2011-05-08T13:30:00.003-05:00

24 hours ago I was having trouble breathing. I could maybe take in a quarter of the amount of air I wanted to. I was wheezing, coughing, and feeling like shit.

Today, I feel quite a bit better. Not 100% but I can breathe easier. Now I have a lot of congestion in my chest. I can lie down without it feeling like a midget is using my chest for a seat cushion. I can walk from the living to the bathroom without feeling winded. Yeah, it was pretty bad.

I wonder exactly what caused the problem yesterday. Was I just unlucky to have a chest cold? Pneumonia? Emphysema? Heart attack?

Yeah, I'll toss that last one in because I gave it a lot of thought early this morning. At roughly 3:11 I was considering going to the emergency room because maybe I had a heart attack. I didn't think I had a heart attack but according to my internet search I couldn't necessarily rule it out.

I blame my brother. He is a general practitioner. I think he is the reason I don't go to see doctors. Whenever I get sick I go to the internet instead. One of the results of searching the phrase "shortness of breath" was the possibility of having a heart attack. Thing was I didn't have the other symptom. Tightness in the chest. Until early this morning that is.

I fell asleep around 11. I was awake at 1. I was able to get back asleep and woke up at 3. I think I was upset that I wasn't getting enough rest, pissed off that I was getting 2 hours of sleep at a time. I wanted to go lie down in my new bed and get a good nights sleep but I couldn't. So maybe my mind wandered in the early hours. As I sat there trying to breathe, I thought my chest felt kind of tight. I then thought maybe it is possible that I had a heart attack yesterday. A mild one at least. I then thought maybe it was continuing. I tried to find my pulse but couldn't. That isn't surprising because few people can easily find my pulse. I began to think about which hospital was closer. Do I go down Superior into Cudahy or head down Oklahoma to 16th Street? In fact, I realized there was an app for that (Around Me).

I got up to get some ibuprofen instead. Popped some pills and considered the generic vicadin I still have. Either that would knock me out and let me get some real rest or as far as I know it would kill me. That is what I thought at 3 in the morning.

I went back into the living room to sleep in the chair. Having to sleep upright sucks. I hated it. I still hate it. I am hoping that I won't have to again tonight. Once I got back to my chair I pondered whether I should go to the emergency room or not. I guess I fell asleep before I could make that decision.

I woke up again around 7. I felt like shit. But my breathing was close to normal. Sure my lungs felt like they were loaded with phlegm but I was able to breathe without wheezing. I was giddy. So giddy that I went to bed. I laid down on my back and tried to relax. At first I thought the shortness of breath was back. But I relaxed and soon was out. I slept another 3 hours before waking up with a wicked headache. That headache felt great because I was still breathing fine. It was nothing a couple more ibuprofen couldn't take care of.

Many hours later I am still trying to piece together what happened. Early Saturday I woke up in the wee hours coughing. I popped a Mucinex and went back to sleep. I woke up with shortness of breath. Later on Saturday I took another Mucinex to help get rid of the congestion. The shortness of breath continued. This morning I didn't take the Mucinex to relieve the congestion. I am breathing fine. To say I was having a reaction to the Mucinex may be a stretch but I wonder if that was part of the problem.

I just hope I can shake this off. If I feel any congestion tomorrow I'll take the day off. For now, I am just happy to be able to breathe.

Deathbed

2011-05-07T13:06:00.002-05:00

I feel like shit. I can barely move without losing my breath and wheezing and coughing. It feels like a 30 pound bag of cement in on my chest.

I didn't see this coming. Two days ago my sinuses were driving me crazy. I just figured it was allergies. But somehow it went south and I woke up at 2 in the morning trying to breathe.

I could sit up and catch my breath but every time I laid back down I would begin to cough and breathe hard. I ended up on the couch sitting up right. That didn't work well. Sure I was able to breathe better but I really didn't sleep.

This afternoon it is a pain to just move around. I went down stairs to do laundry and was wheezing by the time I got back up stairs. We are talking about 10 steps.

I have been told to get some Vicks VapoRub and slather it on my feet and chest. I would do that but I would get winded just getting to the car. The walk from the parking lot to the inside of Walgreens may kill me. Not to mention the walk back to the car and then the walk to the house.

I probably should see a doctor and find out what may be wrong with me. It could be just a chest cold. Could be pneumonia. Strange thing to me is how sudden it came on and that I don't feel like I have a fever. Thus it makes me doubt it is pneumonia. I just know if I feel like this come Monday I am going to a clinic. I hope it doesn't come to that.

I don't recall the last time

2011-05-02T07:19:00.002-05:00

My butt is dragging this morning. I woke up weezing, coughing and short of breath. Once again I feel like I spent a night blowing my nose and feeling congested. My back aches and I wish I could get a couple hours of sleep.

I don't recall the last time I had a good nights sleep. I really don't. It hasn't been that long. Maybe a week. Since I got back from California.

Hopefully that will end this week. I bought myself a new bed this weekend. It won't be delivered until this Thursday though. I have 3 more nights to tough it out.

But I also need to figure out what to do about the allergy attacks. A new bed is not going to stop my nose from filling up. I'll have to make sure my cleaner does a good job in the bedroom this week. Hopefully she can clean away whatever is killing me. Until then, I plan to pop allergy pills before going to sleep.

Big 4 thoughts Part 1

2011-04-27T19:34:00.003-05:00

My trip to Cali to see the Big 4 was awesome. Heck, it was better than awesome. The weather was nice. The condo was fantastic. The company was great. The poker players at the casino sucked and helped pay for the trip. Oh, and the show was UNFUCKIN' BELIEVABLE!!!!!

I really don't know where to start. So I am not sure where I will. For once I didn't have a direct flight and ended up with a layover in Phoenix. I felt weird in the airport as I was the only one wearing a leather jacket and shoes. It seemed like everyone in the place was wearing flip flops. WTF people?

By the time I got into California, the sun was down and my comrades, Joe Speaker, BadBlood, and AlCantHang had already started the drinking. Thankfully they decided that one more drink was needed before the 90 minute trip to Indio.

I was pleasantly surprised when we pulled into a Hooters. Again, right up my alley. The girls were cute if not a bit more ditsy than I am usual. I chalk it up to the state I was in.

The drive to Indio, the location of the show, wasn't too long. The time flew on by as we zipped down the highway. I think the condo we had rented was actually in La Quinta. I am not sure if La Quinta is a town or a section of Indio. But there we were inside some gated community get checked in by a guard. After a bit of time we were settled in, drinking Glenlivit, and playing Big Deuce.

Somehow I got the short straw and had to drop off Joe Speaker at the golf course. It was in the morning that I walked out and was surprised to see the mountains right by the condo. I hadn't noticed those when we arrived. Then again it was dark out.

I took notes as Joe went down one road, took a left, went further, took a right and basically kept repeating the process. I had to find my way back to the condo somehow so I just wrote down street names. Somehow it worked.

More to come..

The silliness that is CNN

2011-04-25T08:38:00.001-05:00

I don't watch my news on TV anymore. I like to take it in via the internet whether it be the local newspaper or maybe a larger news site. It allows me to sift through what actually interests me.

This morning was different. I had crashed at the house of Joe Speaker and awoken to find he had CNN on. I was a tad surprised it wasn't Sportscenter but it was a good change of pace from the barrage of Sunday sports.

I have read how much of a farce CNN is nowadays. It's ratings have plummeted and it is no longer the chosen news station of cable viewers. Not by a long shot. After watching it for roughly an hour, I can see why. They don't cover news

The big news today is the Royal Wedding. That isn't news. Its Monday and they are going on and on about what is happening this weekend and isn't real news. Worse yet they run a story targeted at people like me. It is for people that don't care about the wedding but why you should. Why I should? Screw you CNN. I don't need to care about the wedding. Don't give me no history bullshit and why it matters. Hell, when Clinton's butt ugly daughter got married a couple years back I didn't care. When Bush's daughter got married I didn't care. I don't have to care about something that has absolutely no effect on me. Got it?

Between stories of the wedding they covered tornados in Missouri. Then they had a silly story called “What Would Jesus Cut?” about the deficit where they showed the President speaking to a group of people in California. Of course Obama misrepresents the conservative point of and blabbers on about how much people make. But then its back to the Royal Wedding and a quiz about who was and who wasn't invited to the fuckin' wedding!

I begin to wonder if Joe Speaker would notice I changed the channel. I think he is seeing if he could push me to the brink of my sanity.

Next was a contest where you could text them what story you wanted to see in the next half hour. Really? You give me 3 stupid stories and think I should take my time to text in what I want to watch? No wonder no one watches this station.

Now I am in an airport in Ontario, California listening to more of this drivel. The pace hasn't changed. More wedding news. No business news, no sports, and they cover weather when they talk about the tornados.

Flight is now delayed 10 minutes. Ugh. I may have to strangle myself with the Mac cord. That would be better than having to listen to CNN. I'd go have a drink at the bar but that is on the other side of the terminal away from my gate and we will boarding soon.

Here's to hoping Phoenix is much better.

Airports

2011-04-21T19:21:00.003-05:00

4 hours and 50 minutes. That is approximately how long I spent at the airport in Milwaukee and on the flight to Phoenix. All the time hearing kids scream, cry, and yap.

I wonder if it was because of the afternoon flight. Or maybe it was the destination. On past flights to Vegas I have never had to deal with so many kids making so much noise. It was like they were all over the place and constantly making noise.

I don't see how parents do it.

Looking forward to an interesting layover in Phoenix. I must remember not to have too many beers at the bar. I am already behind the 8 ball as I realized I don't have a boarding pass for the second leg of the trip. I thought the pass I had on the first portion was for both. I thought wrong. I didn't realize it until about 30 minutes after the lady took it at the gate. Now I wonder if I was suppose to check in for both parts of the flight separately. It shouldn't be a big deal. At this point I am resigned to being one of the last to board the plane. A crappy seat probably awaits but I think it is a short flight.

Actually the seat assignment may not be that bad. Unless it is a small plane. Got B2. I had A 54 on the flight in and had a fantastic seat. I'm going to sit back and enjoy a Moylan's Kilt Lifter. The lady carded me and will probably charge me $9 for this beer so I'm going to enjoy it.

I'll also sit here and try to recollect the idea I originally had for today's post. I thought it was pretty good. But now as I can't remember it, I think it may not be as good as I originally thought.

Perishables

2011-04-20T19:40:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I wonder if I am too practical for my own good. I had seeing things go to waste and will alter my habits to ensure it does not. A good example would be what I ate for dinner so far this week.

I am heading out of town for a few days. I noticed I had some perishables in the fridge. Breakfast sausage, ground beer, bread, cheese, and milk. There is little chance any of this food will be good when I got back so in my mind, I had to clear it out this week.

I had cheeseburgers on Monday to take care of the ground beef. Not sure it was still good but it was still somewhat pink before I tossed it on the GF grill. Tuesday had me eating sausage and eggs for dinner. I cooked half sausage roll and greedily chowed it down with 5 eggs. I ate too much that night. Tonight I ate cereal just to get rid of the milk. I'll be eating cereal tomorrow morning and will use the rest of the milk in my coffee. I don't like milk in my coffee. Has to be cream.

Not some might be thinking why I just didn't toss things into the freezer and just thaw it out to eat next week. Simple. I didn't think about it until I was typing this.

Leaks everywhere

2011-04-18T20:03:00.003-05:00

Today was a busy day. It wasn't a rough day. It was a productive one. A Monday that quickly had me forgetting an enjoyable weekend and had me working from the moment I arrived at work.

I was quite glad to get out of work and to get some exercise. It really helps to sweat out any stress. But little things were there to remind me of other problems. Like the trap that gave me problems when I tried to fix it.

The drain was slow. It is a recurring problem. The pipe from the sink to the trap gets gunked up. A black rubber gunk that hugs the pipe. Along with the black gunk is some grayish goo that looks like a horse's snotball. It used to be that I could pop the trap off, clear out the drainpipe, reattach it and enjoy a beer.

But that didn't happen. Last time I put it back together the trap fell apart. It was old so that wasn't too surprising. The replacement trap was just a bit tight. I was able to get it hooked up correctly and it functioned fine. This time it took a bit more time to hook up and it ended leaking on top instead of the bottom.

No problem. Replace the washer on the top. That should solve the problem. Well, almost. It leaked a bit on the first day but has now stopped. Not sure how/why it went like that but it isn't a problem anymore.

That wasn't as bad as the laundry tub collapsing. Yep, two of the legs on the laundry tab gave away on Saturday. A bunch of lint appeared to clog up the drain. My guess is that the tub filled up with too much water and the front legs just gave way. The plastic bowed out on all 3 sides of the leg. For now I have some paint cans underneath to provide the support it needs. Not sure what I'll do in the long run.

I just hope nothing else breaks. I won't have the time to deal with any of that this week. I have bigger things to get done. I can think of 4 of them right now.

I can die peacefully now

2011-04-14T19:36:00.003-05:00

This story caught my eye much earlier in the day. World's first 3D porn film opens in Hong Kong. How does the title of that story not just catch your attention, make you want to read the story, but also hope that there is a video clip attached?

3D porn. Wow! That just gets the mind racing. But think too much and it gets disturbing. Guys will love to see some hot porn actress naked and her rack coming out at them. But as soon as a guy gets in the scene and drop his pants, they'll think twice when it appears his schwanz is gonna stick them in the eye.

But then again this is Asian porn. Those guys got small dicks. I know. Eddie Murphy told me in Delirious. Rice dicks. If you don't remember that bit then I feel sorry for you.

The thought of 3D porn is funny. How far can they go with hit. Some T&A coming at you. Penis in your lap. There are only so many body parts that seem to work with the concept.

The best part of the story is how many people lined up to see the movie. Both men and women. It would seem like a guaranteed handjob in the theater if you could sit next to one of the many women in the crowd. I hope to hear of a baby boom in 9 months. Sure it might seem coincidental but I would give credit to the flick.

Just an organized dump

2011-04-12T17:56:00.002-05:00

I recall going to the dump as a kid. It wasn't in the City of Milwaukee but up north. Town of Athelstane I believe. If the garbage piled up at my grandparent's cottage they would put the entire can in the trunk and make the 5 mile trip to the dump.

It seemed like such a cool place. A big pit dug out in the sandy ground. I'd watch as my dad and grandfather would each grab a can and walk up to the edge of the pit. Then they would just dump the garbage into the big hole. So simple but something that never was done in the city.

After they would put the cans back in the trunk of the car my grandfather would walk the perimeter of the pit, looking at what had been tossed. He was always looking for something that was still good. You know. One man's garbage is another man's treasure. Once in a blue moon he found something that he could easily fix up and use. Made him proud to get something for free.

I thought about that dump up north when I went to the recycling center today. Let's face it. The only difference between what they call a recycling center and that pit up north is organization. Instead of tossing your old stuff into a pit that could be covered with sand, you tossed them into a dumpster or metal container. A worker checks your ID and you tell them what you have. They point you to the correct container.

I had a vehicle full of old electronics. That sonafabitch TV, my first PC, an answering machine, VCR, DVD player, and a printer. The TV was the real pain in the ass. Thankfully I was able to pull right up to the container and could roll it out of the back of the Rogue and right into the container. I was in and out of the dump within 5 minutes. Best yet, it didn't cost me anything.

And for the record, the TV wasn't working properly. The picture would go in and out. When it went out I could smack the top of it to get it to come back on. Kinda like giving it the old Fonzie touch. It worked out fine for a couple of months. But soon I wasn't giving it a Fonzie smack but was raining down hammerfists like Brock Lesnar. That is when I realized it was time to get a new TV.

Now that I have a nice clean and open room, I can look at buying a new bed. I can't wait to get a good night's sleep again. Of course I probably won't go in and get a bed for a couple weeks. Laziness does set in. Unless I buy it on the internet...

TV 3 Me 0

2011-04-11T17:57:00.002-05:00

I gave in today.When I saw the TV still by the alley I knew the only person moving that TV would be me. The TV beat me.

I figure two things would have happened. Some kids would have come by and broken it up leaving a mess for me to clean up. And I still would have had to take the TV into a recycling place.

The other thing would have pissed me off. If I had left the TV out, the city probably would have left a notice on my door telling me to move it immediately. And they probably would have given me a fine as well. The TV probably pissed off the nosy old lady in the neighborhood over the weekend. I bet that old coot would have been on the phone first thing in the morning.

So I packed up my Rogue with the other stuff I had to take in to the recycling center and will make the trip in over my lunch time. I am just hoping they have a cart that I can toss the TV onto because I ain't trying to carry that damn thing any further that a foot or two out of my vehicle.

Please, take the damn TV!

2011-04-10T08:53:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I reclaimed the spare bedroom. I got some friends to come in and help me clear out the crap I had been storing in there. I really needed someone to tell me to get rid of stuff. I am of the mindset that I just might need something later on and I should keep things for when I do. That when never comes and I end up collecting crap. Not on the level of Hoarders but I end up with stuff I am not using and won't be using.

I have some boxes of clothes that will be given to charity. I had some stuff- actually Christmas presents that I never used- that went to a rummage to raise money for charity, and crap that was being offered to the junk man.

Ah, the junk man. I assume that this is a phenomena that happens in all cities. You put something out by the alley or the curb and soon someone drives by and takes the stuff away for you. On one trip you are putting stuff out by the alley and ten minutes later, you make another trip and find the other stuff gone already.

I only had a couple of items that were worth taking. An 32" TV that does work but has picture issues, an archaic piece of exercise equipment, an ugly lamp, a popcorn tin, and a broken metal coat rack. The exercise equipment and lamp were taken right away, within 15 minutes of being out there. The TV, popcorn tin, and coat rack took longer. By the end of the day only the TV was left.

That TV is the problem. Laws now force you to recycle these electronics. The garbage men aren't going to take it away. I'll need to pay someone at least $20 if I haul it in to a recycling center. See, the TV is the one items I really wanted someone to take and now it is the last thing left. Hell, I even covered it last night with an old shower curtain in case it rained.

This morning, the shower curtain was gone, yet the TV remained. Really?

Friends assured me that someone would take the TV. I did win $5 on a bet that the TV would still be around today. I have some others bets out that could cover my cost. But I would still need to haul the bulky thing in somewhere. Still hoping someone grabs the damn thing so I don't have to deal with that hassle.

Our messed up Wisconsin elections

2011-04-08T08:07:00.002-05:00

I bet those few people that still read this have been wondering why I have been so quiet about the recent hullabaloo in Madison and the election this past week. I guess after yesterday's "bombshell" I couldn't not blabber on about what is going on. People can guess which side of this I am on. I believe most unions are putting themselves out of business and dragging corporations down with them. Public sector unions are even worse as they expect taxes to be raised to pay for their ever increasing benefits. They work to get their people elected so they can rubber stamp the demands attained through collective bargaining. The union is not about the members, it is all about the leadership, but that is a different rant. The discovery of these votes that weren't tallied is a strange twist to the outcome of this election. I personally don't like the discovery of any votes after the election. Granted it appears it was an honest error. There were no shenanigans. Even local Dems say so. But it will always seem hinky no matter what. At least they were discovered as part of the final vote count and not during a recount. The deranged side of the Left will not accept the result and ignore the fact that disallowing these votes is disenfranchising the people of Brookfield who cast them. God I hate that word. Disenfranchising. Sounds like someone lost their McDonalds. The worst part is that this will be dragged on for a couple weeks with demands of recounts and stories coming out about how someone wasn't allowed to vote. Maybe a box of votes will be found in a closet or behind a locker. Weird things happen when people get desperate. Lawyers will come out of the woodwork trying to earn a buck out of this. It will get nastier by the day. Bottom line is it doesn't help the people of Wisconsin. We don't need to hear the vitriol coming from either side. What happened to voting, hearing the results, and learning to live with them in the best manner? I didn't vote for Obama (I know, big shock there!) but I don't go out protesting him every time he comes to Wisconsin. I accepted the fact he is our president. I don't have to agree with his policies or ideas. I can only do my part to see we get a real leader next year. Next up in Wisconsin are these stupid recall elections. I am against these as well. People crying that they don't agree with how someone voted. You elected them. Live with it. Don't go around grabbing signatures of the minority of voters and act like they represent everyone. Hell, look at the results of Tuesday. You are really fighting an uphill battle in those districts. Basically you are going to fill the airwaves with bullshit accusations and fling more mud for a couple of months. What used to be something we had to deal with every couple of years is becoming a process we get annoyed with every couple of months. And for that I hate you.

There could be a breakup

2011-04-06T18:14:00.003-05:00

It isn't official but it is close to the end. After many years and many good times, I think it is time to move on and let someone else take a crack at happiness.

I think I am breaking up with going to Opening Day.

Opening Day used to be such a great time. Get together with a bunch of friends, get tickets from a bar, and go get drunk while you watch the Milwaukee Brewers. Times have changed though. It is nothing like that.

This year it was more like paying too much for tickets, handing out in a very crowded bar, dealing with the chilly wind, and taking in a boring game as you stand for 4 hours. At least it didn't rain.

So much has changed with Opening Day in Milwaukee. In the days preceding the game, tents would sprout up from the asphalt, creating a village in the parking lots. On game day, throngs of buses would show up, unloading its happy- in not totally inebriated- passengers to go find their homes in the village. Each bar had their own tent. They were stocked with beer and usually had grills cooking up burgers and brats not too far away. People walked up to the barrels and either showed a wrist band or tapped their own. Like washing your hair it was fill, drink, repeat. As game time got closer you stayed outside drinking as much as you can before the attendants would shepherd you into the stadium. Later you would stumble out of the stadium mostly oblivious to the result of the game, just hoping you didn't miss the bus. You'd climb aboard your Joy Farm and start laughing about the shenanigans you got into during the day. Back at the bar you would drink a couple more before calling it a night and passing out on your couch back home.

But with the building of Miller Park that drastically took a turn for the worse. At first, the bars just got fewer tickets. Then they gave tickets to fewer bars. Now, bars don't get any space on Opening Day. There are no tent villages. Just the round of the mill tailgater. Thus there is no getting drunk in the parking lots with a big group of people. You have to plan to spend many hours in the lot doing your own thing or party at the bars nearby. Partying at those bars isn't quite as fun. Especially when it was cold like it was on Monday.

Of course getting tickets is the first feat of strength. The Milwaukee Brewers package up Opening Day seats with ticket packages. They do not sell them to the general public. Normal $22 standing room only tickets were going for $60 two weeks before the game. There was no way I was spending that kind of money. I could spend like a king in a bar and watch the game on TV for that price. But we got lucky and paid face value through a friend who go tickets from his Brewers rep.

Maybe it was the thought of paying so much for the ticket that had me in a foul mood before the game. I wasn't looking forward to the game but tried to make the best of it. With the way the Brew Crew played though, it sent it all down hill.

Thus I may have gone to my last Opening Day. I haven't broken up with the girl yet but at the very least, we are separated,

Time to drink beer

2011-04-01T13:17:00.002-05:00

I came across some good videos today. One that sets the tone for my beer drinking tonight...

... while another is just funny.

Dangling

2011-03-31T07:50:00.003-05:00

I woke up a bit angry this morning. I had a shitty dream. But the worse part was, I didn't get the end. I was right there. I was in the batter's box with a big meatball pitch coming right at me. I was swinging the bat, about to make contact and enjoy the glory of victory when the alarm went off. DAMNIT ALL TO HELL!!!! It was like I suffered through this dream too. The dream was filled with all kinds of things that just aren't me. The place, the people, the conversation. It all seemed phony. Maybe I should have been happy the alarm went off. I was in some fancy cafe with a group of people I didn't know. The girl to my right was my date for the night. The rest of the people at the table were her friends. They were all drinking wine while I had Makers. At least I drank well in my dream. The conversation was about kids and things these people did in college. Anytime I spoke to add something they looked at me in a weird way and just kept talking. There was one really loud woman at the table too. She was a bit of a slut. She kept flirting with me, saying how she needed to get laid. She wasn't married, just some kind of hussy. At the end of the dream, she was commanding the attention of the table, telling this story. She kept getting louder and demonstrative as she went on. I thought she was talking about some sex act and was about to spead her legs and prop her heels on the table when she suddenly brought out a picture of something. She passed the picture to the person to her right. That girl took a look at the pic and began congratulating her. She passed the pic to the guy on her right who had the same reaction. The picture made the rounds until it got to me. They passed the pic right over me to my date. She was very happy and congratulated her friend as well. I was reaching for the pic when... ...the alarm went off.. I have no idea what in the picture. This girl didn't appear to be married or pregnant. What could this picture have been of? Thus my anger. Having gone through a shitty dream and left dangling at the end. Man, I hope that is the worst part of my day.

Ghosts and burning planes

2011-03-30T07:53:00.003-05:00

I woke up around 3:45 this morning. The cat was as his usual spot on the bed, the top left corner which is closest to the door. I inadvertently nudged him, waking him up in the process. That is usually a bad thing because he interprets that as time to get up and be petted. I usually feel bad for waking him up and will make reparations. As I laid there trying to pet the cat and get back to sleep, I began to hear some rumbling. As in stomach rumbling. At first I thought it was my stomach. But it wasn't. It was the cat's. I was pretty damn sure he had food when I went to bed. He has been extra finicky lately so there is a chance he simply hadn't eaten anything. I got out of bed to make sure he was taken care off, topping off his bowl. He came running out and chowed down. I went back to bed hoping he hadn't eaten too fast and I would soon be woken up by the "cat puking alarm clock". I then became happy because I recalled the dream I had. It was about ghosts. I am not sure where I was but apparently I had caught a ghost in a picture. It wasn't no mist, no flare, no crease in the curtains kind of ghost. It was a real ghost. I was pretty excited about this and went to talk to the family in whose house I had captured it. As I showed them the picture, they brought out a ton of photos showing the various ghost pictures of the family from years past. The had pictures of kids and old people all over their house. They even had one of a ghost doll. They said it was no big deal to them as they interact with these ghosts all the time. I then snootily said then they should have one of those ghosts bring me a beer. They didn't like that and kicked me out of the house. But that wasn't the only dream I had. The second involved a burning plane. I was walking along the bike path that hugs Lake Michigan in my neighborhood. I had reached the end of a path and turned around to walk back home. It was then that I noticed something strange in the sky. My first thought was that it was a witch with a long line of black smoke coming off the back of the broom. But as I watched it get closer, I realized it was a plane, a plane with its tail on fire. I watched the plane drop in the sky and began to wonder if it would make the airport. Though I live north of the airport, I was suddenly on the south end of it. I began to run up a hill to see if the plane was going to be able to fly to the runway. The plane had dropped from the sky now and I could see inside the back of the plane. There were no people in the seats. It was now apparent the plane was going to have to land soon. The only place for it to land happened to be on a set of railroad tracks that ran parallel to a freeway. The plane did manage to get down inside this groove and put the belly on the tracks. But it wasn't out of the woods yet. A freight train was heading north at the back of the plane. You could hear the screeching brakes of the train as it tried in vain to stop. I stood there watching in amazement as the train was about to hit the plane. I waited for the inevitable explosion. But it didn't come. Apparently the train was able to stop so I walked away. I crossed the street and explained what just happened to some people exiting a bus on the corner. They didn't care. So I did what anyone else would do and ran home to get on Twitter. That is when I woke up to my radio alarm.

Even Smokey needs some lovin'

2011-03-28T10:20:00.001-05:00

Better than the hype

2011-03-27T11:17:00.003-05:00

I am not an early adopter. I don't run out to get the latest technology. I don't see movies on opening weekends. I don't run out to the restaurant that everyone is talking about.

I do what I like. I do keep an ear open and listen to people whose opinions I respect. I trust their judgement. It helps me make decisions.

But there are time you need to see through the hype even from people whose judgement you trust. Because they like it doesn't mean you will like it.

There have been many times something has been hyped up so much that it just lead to a let down. Off the top of my head, the Hangover comes to mind. The movie was ok. I didn't find it as hilarious as most people claimed it to be. I wrote about a restaurant a couple months back that wasn't as good as it was told.

There was a place in Chicago that I was hoping wasn't going to let me down. It had the makings of a place that I would love. Great burgers, a pretty damn good beer menu, and heavy metal music being blared throughout the joint. I know what you are thinking. This place sounds like heaven on Earth, right? Ok, most of my friends that are reading this don't care of heavy metal and probably wonder why anyone would go there. I was told the burger were freakin' awesome. And they are. They are that good that you can let ignore the music (why I don't know) and enjoy a burger that will leave you happily stuffed.

Getting a burger at Kuma's Corner ain't easy. The place is basically a small corner bar with a small kitchen. There are maybe 8 (?) tables and 20 (?) spots at the bar. You will have to wait. Even when you get there when it opens at 11:30, you may have to wait at least 45 minutes. Hell, we got there at 11:25 and still had a wait of 45 minutes. Yep, they were packed within minutes of not officially being opened. That is insane but it is a testament to what great food they make.

We were lucky to get a couple seats at the bar after waiting about 30 minutes. You can wait for a table. If not, bar seats are first come, first serve. People patiently wait behind stools, making claim to them before they are open. As you stand, there are plenty of good beers to enjoy. The beer menu has something for everyone's taste. I enjoyed a Stone Levitation, Great Lakes Edmund Fiztgerald, and a Dogfish Head India Brown Ale as I waited for a seat and my burger.

The burger menu itself is something to marvel at. Just look at it. Each burger is named after a heavy metal band. I'll even admit I don't know who some of those bands are. YOB? Brujera? Never heard of them, but I'll go look them up now. But look at those burgers. How is your mouth not watering?

I had scouted the menu before going out. I had a general idea of what I wanted but my mind was far from being made. The Plague Bringer and the Mastodon sounded very good. The Neurosis or Slayer burgers were tempting as well. In the end I went with the Iron Maiden. I love avocado on a burger. Plus the cherry peppers and chipotle mayo sounded delicious.

The thick burger took a while to make. Easy to wait when you have guitars and beer to enjoy. When it finally came I was a bit surprised to see how big the burger was. You had to cut this in half to not make a total mess. Even after cutting it, it was a very messy burger to eat. That is part of how great it was. In my book, messy=tasty. The Iron Maiden burger was awesome. I have to given Kuma's kudos for using a pretzel bun. I don't know if all the burgers come on pretzel buns but I can understand why. This burger is too big for a regular hamburger bun. It would fall apart under the heft of the meat. A pretzel bun keeps it all together and provides a nice chewiness to the bite.

I left Kuma's with a smile on my face. Good music, good beer, and a great burger. Only possible downside was the inevitable food coma that would come. But it would worth it. I look forward to returning some day. Should be another fantastic experience.

More weird dreams

2011-03-24T11:54:00.002-05:00

I had another crazy dream last night. The usual catalysts were not in play either. There was no beer, ice cream, or any other psychedlics involved. Just weirdness.

The dream itself was in two parts but happening at the same time. The less interesting side had me in the back seat of a squad car with two young terrorists. One guy, one girl. Both cuffed behind their backs. Both cussing up a storm about what they would do to the cup when they got out.

What I don't know is what I was doing in the back seat with them. I was in between the two of them. I wasn't cuffed. I was just trying to get some sleep. I was leaning over behind the chick and had my face smushed up against some glass as I tried to catch some zzzs.

At the same time I was trying to sleep, I was also reading a newspaper. A British tabloid to be exact. It was carrying a lot of stories about the Rolling Stones and their newest member. That person happened to be my brother. Somehow he was now in the Stones. Not sure what he was doing in the band. He doesn't sing or play an instrument.

The stories kept focusing on how the band was partying harder than ever- again, something that isn't like my brother at all. The stories started with the band getting drunk each night and hanging out with some very slutty groupies. The next story would be about them busting up a nightclub. Then a story about how each of the Rolling Stones married one of these groupies.

But the coup de gras had to be the announcement of the forthcoming record. The Rolling Stones had announced that their new album would be called Listiloading. I didn't know what the hell that meant until an American newspaper explained it. Apparently it was British slang for "fisting". WTF?

I think the WTF? moment caused me to awaken. It was 15 minutes before my alarm was set to go off so I was able to recall the dream and not have to worry about writing it down or recording my thoughts.

Seeing that I have some Lakefront Eastside Dark in the fridge, I wonder if I can dream of a sequal tonight.

2011-03-22T18:25:00.002-05:00

I had one of those days. Nothing great. Nothing bad. Basically it was a reflection of the weather.

Blah.

I watched the begin and end a couple times during the day. I saw it intensify and get mild. I saw it turn to sleet and slush. And then back to regular rain.

My workload was like that. I was answering to the whims of my boss. At least that is what it seemed to be to me. I had the answers but I had to use someone else's data to explain what was happening. As each hour went by, I was given different instructions on how to manipulate the data and pull the expected information from it. I gave them what they wanted.

But it wasn't what I wanted. A lot of it didn't make sense. They were asking questions of what my department does, but my boss wanted to use someone else's tracking information as proof. As much as I wanted to use the spreadsheets I had created- which included the charts they wanted to see- I couldn't. I had the data in a manner I understood. I could tell you what was done, how much of it was done and how and why it was officially classified. But I had to use some sloppy information that lacked consistency. In the end I had to redo their information and reclassify it into simpler categories. It felt like a big waste of time.

In the end I still wondered why I spent my day goofing around with someone else's info. Why weren't they doing it? But I was smart enough to realize not to ask those questions. I like the paychecks.

Where are the birds?

2011-03-21T08:19:00.002-05:00

I woke up early on Saturday morning. It was 4:30. Way too early to give in to the day and get my butt out of bed. Instead I laid there thinking about things. The one thing the stuck in my head was "Where are the birds?"

Maybe I should have been thinking "When do the birds come back?" Being that spring was soon upon us, it suddenly struck me that I hadn't the birds chattering in the morning in such a long time. Until this morning.

When the alarm went off at 5:30, I noticed the birds yapping it up outside. Not many but some talking back and forth. It made me wonder what they could be saying. What do birds say? I could go look it up but I assume it has something to do with mating calls and danger signals. Maybe food. I don't know.

What I would like to think is that they were having conversations like most people might be having in the City of Milwaukee today. Maybe the birds were talking about the Marquette victory. Maybe it was the Wisconsin game from Saturday night. Maybe they were union birds protesting. Maybe they were talking about the rain from the day before. Maybe they were talking about meeting some ladybirds or maybe a bird was caught in the "flight of shame".

I don't know what those birds were saying. But I do know it was good to hear them again. Though the weather will be mild today and cooler for the next week or so, it is a sign that warmer weather is heading our way.

A perfect storm for sports drunkies?

2011-03-16T18:29:00.002-05:00

It seems like someone's idea of the perfect day. St. Patrick's Day, a day where people get up to hit the bar at 6 am to get drunk out of their mind and puke by noon. Combine it with the first full day of March Madness, a day where people hit the bar at 10 am to watch basketball and get drunk out of their mind and puke by 6 pm. But the ballers will rally around the thought of some nachos and go out until the last game of the night is played and their buddies are carrying them out the door.

The true partiers will then make it back out at 11 the next morning to once again hit it hard and make it another day of drinking. Those of the animals that are usually unemployed and spend their days at the bar anyways. So while impressive, it may not be when you analyze the full situation.

Me? Pfft! I am neither Irish nor a basketball fan. I could care less about either of them. Hell, I liked to buy a shirt that says "Screw you! I am not Irish, not even for your stupid made up holiday!" I would like to kick any putz I see wearing that gay baby blue of North Carolina. Maybe I could find some Irish numbnut who is a Tar Heel fan and take care of two birds with one stone.

The only I do like is the drinking part. I don't go out for the games on Thursday unless I know some buddies are out there and they want a drinking partner. I rather wait until Friday so I can go out drinking and bowling with lesbians. I tell you, it is the way to go.

Pass of the storm of Irish and drunk b-ball fans. Wait another day to hit the lanes and go head to head against women who are trying to pick up the same chick you are.

Justice!

2011-03-15T14:56:00.001-05:00

If you ask me, this little runt deserved it. Sadly, the story is the bigger kid was suspended while that little bastard received no punishment whatsoever. At least the big boy served his own helping of justice.

Mold-a-rama!

2011-03-14T08:40:00.003-05:00

Sometimes you take the place you live for granted. You look what the city has to offer and never truly appreciate what is there. Some places you visit quite often while overlooking some of the treasures that are right in front of you.

My friend Heather came in to town with the thought of going to the Milwaukee County Zoo. I hadn't been to the zoo in probably 10 years. It seemed like a good idea. Little did I know she had an ulterior motive for going to the zoo.

It was Behind the Scenes weekend at the zoo. They said they would take patrons behind the doors and fences to see what zoo workers do on a daily basis. What that meant was you got to see what the "chefs" cook up for the animals to eat. I now know how penguins get fed their birth control pills. That kind of knowledge is invaluable. One old coot even gave guidance on how to raise kids (bribing them with M&Ms). See, that info is not valuable and given up readily.

But I did enjoy going around the zoo and seeing the animals. Of course being a Milwaukee boy I talked with enthusiasm of the memories of the legendary Samson the gorilla. Sadly there weren't any other gorillas out while we were there. Not that they could come close to matching the awesomeness that was Samson. Many a kid would stare in fascination as the gorilla may wander back and forth. If you got lucky, he may have stepped on the scale that was in his pen or rush the glass to give it a quick pound. Other times you just watched him lay there doing nothing.

Heather was excited to see the Red Panda. I personally didn't get it. When we found where it was, the panda was sitting in a box. It did come out of the box which elicited cooing from the high school girls about how cute it was. It slowly moved around the box and went back in. Exciting!

As we walked around the zoo I quickly realized the real reason for Heather's desire to go to the zoo. It was all about the Mold-a-Rama. You know, those plastic sculptures created right before your eyes in high quality plastic. A memory for a lifetime!

My gateway drug into the shady world of Mold-a-Rama

The big cat country exhibit was probably the most active. A lion was walking about. This had a young cheetah perched up staring at it from across the room. The lion was a big hit among the kids as it paced back and forth right in front of the glass, pushing its head towards the outstretched hands. I figured it was hungry and was thinking how full its belly would be if it could get by the barrier.

Probably the most pathetic display were the spider monkeys. They looked so sad and bored. It was as if you put a gun in the cage that they would have used it to end their lives. Heck, I would have supplied the guy for them.

In the end a good time was had at the zoo. Makes me think about some other places in town that I haven't been to in quite some time. A trip down to the museum may be in order.

The memory is fading

2011-03-08T07:53:00.003-06:00

I had some pretty good dreams over the past two nights. Sadly, I cannot recall them. I woke up early Monday thinking I just a great dream. I fell back asleep and woke with the alarm thinking I had an even better one. Same thing last night.

But I can't recall the details.

I know one of the dreams had to do with an "Indiana Jones" type of rescue. I was helping people get through a very difficult obstacle course. It was like a game show except it was real. If they didn't get out, they were going to die. I did get them out but I woke up before I could find out if they won anything.

See, that wasn't even the better dream. I had one that was much better but for the life of me can't recall the details. Same thing with this morning.

Maybe I should start writing some of this stuff down when I wake up just so I have the details.

Maybe it is because I am mellowing out. I had 3 people change lanes in front of me yesterday, each with a very tight space for them to maneuver. Each time I called them a "fucking twat" but that was about it. I didn't allow them to really anger me. Contrary to what people may think, I am not an aggressive driver. I just don't want people thinking that by keeping a safe distance from the car in front of me- one car length-that it is an invitation for them to cram their vehicle in between the two of us. Especially when there is no one behind me.

I just want a beer

2011-03-04T14:23:00.002-06:00

I checked my mind out of work at about 10:37 this morning. I was done with work. I had finished some requested reports and was willing to slide through the afternoon grabbing the low hanging fruit.

But of course the boss saw things differently. Very differently. He wanted the reports done in a different manner. His manner.

Feeling feisty- ok, more like confused- I fought back. The confusion turned out be good. I was studying what he wanted and came to the conclusion it wasn't possible. His version was based on something new. Mine was based on something that was being amended. Basically, I couldn't make his version work.

He realized this but did I get any credit? Nope. He changed to a third different format.

Now I am being given a task to herd some cats by Monday. Ignore the fact that these cats may not even be in the building as one of them is usually on the road.

I want this day to be over. I just want a beer.

Watch who is sneezing

2011-03-02T18:08:00.002-06:00

I watched a commercial that other day that was found rather disturbing. Interesting part, it is a public service announcement about ways to prevent spreading the flu. Sad part is how unrealistic it is.

Unfortunately I cannot find the video on YouTube. Not that I am sure what keywords would work but I tried. So instead you get a description of what I saw.

A lady is seen in a store buying something. To me, it looked like a liquor store or at the least, a convenience store with a good liquor supply behind the counter. As she is about to pay, she sneezes all over the cash, a folded fiver, and hands it to the cashier who must have been oblivious to the sneeze because he happily take the money.

Just as the transaction finishes, a black guy walks in. The cashier shakes his hand and goes through some gang like activity of mushing his sneezed on hand all over the black guy's hand. Black guy leaves and pulls the door open. As he steps outside, he sees a lady with a little kid. The lady has dropped her phone. Black guy reaches down and picks it up and hands it to the lady. Lady walks with the little girl a couple steps to the corner where the school bus is waiting. She first presses the phone against the girl's head before giving her a loving caress and pushing the kid onto the bus.

Every time someone touched someone else or a handle, the screen would slow down to emphasize the spread of germs. Those evil germs moving around ready to infect someone else! When the commercial is over, it says something like cover your mouth, wash your hands, don't spread the flu.

I was baffled when I saw this commercial. First, I give credit to the lady in the store. Buying her booze so early in the morning is some good planning. Don't want to accidentally spend that money on lunch or some crap in a vending machine.

But how oblivious is the store clerk. Who the hell willing takes cash that was just sneezed on? Really! I don't know anyone who wouldn't have made a fuss and drowned themselves with hand sanitizer at the very least. Most would have asked for a different bill.

So that is what our tax dollars are spent on? Ridiculous commercials that exaggerate the point.

"You should have read the directions before you showed up to party!"

2011-02-28T15:22:00.003-06:00

Bummer. They aren't allowing the video to be embedded. But this interview that Charlie Sheen had with some chick on Good Morning America is quite funny. Or Epic! as Sheen would say.

I don't know much about the story. Frankly, I don't care. Celebrity does very little for me.

Waiting for the weekend

2011-02-24T19:30:00.002-06:00

This has been a long week. Each work day has felt like one long dragged out session. Though I have been busy, the hours just couldn't go by fast enough.

I have been waiting for Friday to come. See, tomorrow I go back to the surgeon for him to inspect my gums. I fully expect great news that I am well on my way to a full and complete recovery, even though there is a slight discomfort on the lower left side of my mouth. I think it is from my tongue rubbing against my gum.

If I get that clean bill of health, it means I can possibly enjoy some really hot wings at Quaker Steak & Lube on Saturday. Being the winner of a baseball pool, I am entitled to all the wings and beer I can pile into my gullet. And having tried their Atomic wings last time, I was fully intending to do battle with the Triple Atomic this time around. But I have some doubts.

First of course is the fact that having surgery a week before and gums still in recovery, it might be pretty damn stupid to eat one incredibly hot food that could literally burn my gums. But being a guy, I figure some beer would easily kill the heat.

The second being that eating any solid food can be a bit painful when the food hits the back of the mouth on the healing area. Solid foods have been good and bad this week but there has been improvement as the week wore on.

At the very least, I'll be able to drink beer and have some wings. Thankfully they don't have breading on them or that could be dangerous.

Haircut

2011-02-23T19:48:00.002-06:00

How did it take me so long to find a barber shop that not only has attractive women working there, but they offer me a beer when I walk in the door? I think I found my piece of heaven. At least for the time it takes to get my haircut.

Jumped the gun

2011-02-22T18:04:00.002-06:00

I think my recovery from having my wisdom teeth pulled has been going very well. As I mentioned before, the drug consumption has been minimal. I have been using the oral rinse and added in the salt water rinses. Things seem great in the days before the follow up appointment.

It had me thinking I was further along in my recovery than I may have been. I figured I could go back to consuming some solid foods. They recommend all of these soft items like mashed potatoes and cooked pasta but they didn't say for how long. For whatever reason I assumed it meant just a couple of days. That I would be fine to eat regular foods once the weekend was over.

I was wrong.

I made up some nice polish sausage with onions last night. I didn't think consuming that would be a pain. A little soreness in the jaw from chewing but the meat seemed to search out the holes where the teeth were. They are still tender which led to some painful moments. I quickly learned that I was a couple days away from eating any food item that isn't mushy.

Looks like I'll be heading out to the food store. I am thinking various pasta products and maybe some nice stouts. Drinking those is like drinking bread, right?

Feeling fantastic

2011-02-19T18:02:00.003-06:00

I prepared for the worst and may have ended up with the best. Two days removed from having my wisdom teeth yanked, I feel fine. I woke up this morning to no pain or discomfort. I feel lucky.

I haven't felt that much pain over the past two days. There was some soreness yesterday but it wasn't a throbbing pain. I took only 1 of the 600mg ibuprofen that I was prescribed. With the two I had on Thursday, it has been a grand total of 3 pills taken. I haven't even touched the vicadin. I have iced the side of my jaw as a precaution but that wasn't needed today.

I don't consider myself out of the woods by any means. I still need to take it easy with what I eat and treat the area with care. But that hopefully will be just a couple more days. I will see the doctor on Friday, when I hope to hear that everyone looks fine.

I think the toughest part has been not to poke the holes with my tongue. I am tempted to probe around to see what is missing but I understand how detrimental that could be. I don't want to take any chances with something going wrong because I loosened a blood clot with my tongue exposing the wound to bacteria.

Hopefully I can eat something a bit more solid by Monday. I can tell you one thing. The mac and cheese I had yesterday never tasted so good.

For now, I think I'll go have myself a beer.

2011-02-18T08:39:00.004-06:00

The yanking of the teeth is over. It is the day after and I feel pretty damn good. Just a slight ache, no raging pain like I was told there could be. Hell, I have even touched the generic vicodin they gave me.

The process was pretty simple. I began by opting for the nitrous instead of being put under. Some friends recommended being knocked out cold but I wanted to know what what going on. I wanted to experience my teeth coming out. That may sound kinda sick but I am curious that way. I like to know how things work or are done.

They put this nitrous tube over my nose and had me take these deep breaths. After

a couple minutes of this, they started sticking my mouth with a needle to numb up the jaw. At first he just stuck the needle into the bottom gums but then he took some extra time on the upper teeth. The way he was talking it had me thinking he had already yanked the teeth.

Once he was done with local, the doctor left the room to talk to another patient. His cute blonde hygienist stayed behind to make sure I was ok. They told me that I would know the local was working because my bottom lip and chip would become very numb and feel swollen. My tongue would feel like it was taking up the entire area of my mouth. What they didn't tell me was it would feel like I had a gallon of spit building up in the back of my mouth.

As the doc was out of the room, the hygienist made some small talk with me. Asked where I worked, what I did, where I lived. I tried to respond but soon both the nitrou

s and the local anesthesia was kicking in and I sounded like a blithering idiot. Or that kid from Fat Albert.

Soon the doc was back in the room to start the procedure. One thing I noticed about him when I met for the consultation is the strong resemblence to the older brother on The Wonder Years. I began to wonder if Jason Hervey left Hollywood to go to Marquette Dental School and now as going to yank my teeth.

The doc grabbed some tool while the hygienist sucked the spit out of my mouth. He worked on the left lower first. That wasn't going well as he had to keep grabbing different tools. The quick simple procedure suddenly might get hairy. He took out some grinder looking instrument and got into my mouth to do something. Maybe he wsa grinding the base down so he could get to the roots. After a little bit of that he went in and plucked the tooth right out. He added a couple stitches before he was satisfied.

Over to the bottom right and yanked it right out after rocking my head back and forth. The top left seemed to come out with just a bit of effort. The top right though was different. When he applied some pressure on that tooth I heard a crunch. My dentist had said that tooth had a good cavity but with that crunch I was thinking my tooth was disintegrating. But with a little more pressure and a yank it was out.

They popped some gauze in my mouth and had me suck on some oxygen. Within 45 minutes I was up and out of there with some prescriptions, more gauze and ice packs. It would take about 5 hours for the numbness in my lip to go away. Until then I only dribbled a little bit of spit and blood in the Walgreens. I think I'll spare you that story.

Today I felt pretty good. A little bit of soreness but that expected. I think I'll go about the day as normal, maybe even go buy some new shoes. Sadly though, I don't think I can drink until at least tomorrow. Then I may go on a bender.

Surgery

2011-02-17T06:41:00.002-06:00

I'm going under today. Getting oral surgery done. Take a look at my choppers and focus on the ones on the end. Yep, those wisdom teeth are being yanked.

I do like this photo. The took this panoramic x-ray a couple weeks back and left it on the screen while I waited for the doctor to come in the office. I just had to take some pictures of my teeth.

Take a look at those white spots everyone. Those were cavities. That is what happens when you don't go to the dentist for a decade. Sure my teeth didn't hurt but I knew I should have been getting checkups and cleanings. Though I was ashamed, I bit the bullet and when in to have it done. It took a couple visits for them to take care of me. I now consider it one of the best corrections to a mistake I have ever made.

My big concern right now is whether to go with nitrous or to be totally knocked out. I was to be able to get home as soon as possible so I am leaning towards the nitrous with some local shots of anesthesia. My concern of them putting me under is having a dental hygienist stick a needle in my arm. The people at the blood center have a heck of a time getting a needle in my arm. I am not sure a hygienist will be able to do it any better.

The other concern is what shirt to wear. I need to remember not to wear white. As cool as it may seem to walk out of the office with blood on my shirt, I don't think the surgeon would think it is as cool as I would.

I am curious as to what kind of meds they may give me. Vicadin? Percoset? What killer pill will I get to pop?

A winter walk to the polls

2011-02-15T20:31:00.002-06:00

It was primary day in the city. Or maybe it was all of Wisconsin. I am not quite sure as I only knew of 2 races that I wanted to cast a vote.

I had planned to stop at the polls right after work but decided to go after dinner instead. A nice walk would be good in digesting the hearty beef stew in my belly. 13 minutes each way should help the stomach.

Since it had been warm out and the snow melting, I was a bit concerned about dark ice patches on the sidewalk. Any time I saw spots where the snow melted I softened my walk a bit just so I didn't wind up on my ass.

I noticed the job most people did in cleaning their sidewalks from the blizzard. Apparently I did one hell of a job in comparison to what I had seen. Some pretty narrow areas. Some loaded with ice. Others still had some slush. Buy some salt people.

But not as bad as the park where the polling place is located. Half the paths were cleared. One path that cuts across the park to the pavilion was cleared halfway. Others abruptly ended in snowbanks. Pretty shoddy work.

I also noticed a big difference since the last time I made this walk in the fall. I came across only one yard sign. That one was for a school board member. I wasn't aware of any of the school board people so I gave the person a vote because of the sign. Otherwise it was quite bare considering those running for county executive,

Quite a bit of snow has melted since the blizzard. With temperatures possibly hitting the 50s this week, I may see some old brown grass within the next couple of days.

The beergloo

2011-02-14T19:02:00.001-06:00

Some pretty ambitious plans were being made on a Saturday morning. Maybe it was boredom. Maybe it was the mass quantities of beer consumed the night before. Maybe it was one particular beer that was consumed that left a lasting impression with my friend.

I was baby sitting on Friday night. Babysitting my friend that is. His daughter was celebrating her birthday and he didn't want to spend a night with a house full of yappy 11 year old girls. I don't blame him. Drinking beer at some of the better beer joints in Milwaukee would be preferred to prepubescent girls any day.

New Glarus Smoked Rye Ale. It is part of the Unplugged series by the brewery. This beer was stuck in my buddy's head. It was the first beer of the night and it left one hell of an impression. So much that he wanted to go to the brewery on Saturday. And that is how things started

I said I had nothing to do and a quick trip to New Glarus is roughly a two hour trip. No problem for a Saturday day trip. But I pointed out that if I was going to drive two hours to a brewery, I wanted to make it worth the time. I said we should stop at Ale Asylum in Madison as well as Tyranena in Lake Mills. Suddenly I was looking forward to hitting the road.

But there was one hurdle. His wife.

He swore that wouldn't be a problem but I know his wife. I know she would think he was kidding. She was not going to sign off on the plan. He called and through some hemming and hawing heard that he had to be home by 5 so she could go out drinking with her friend. I pictured our trip like Pac Man running into a ghost. Wap wap wap!

But we weren't totally dejected. We started planning on hitting up a couple places in Milwaukee. Let's go to Lakefront! How about going to that Stonefly Brewpub for lunch first. Yeah and maybe we can stop at the Milwaukee Ale House on the way back to the south side. Let's do this!!! But first we need to stop at the liquor to get some beer for drinking after the breweries.

And that was our downfall. See he found that New Glarus beer and bought 2 four packs. I added some Sprecher Dopplebock, a Rogue Northwestern Ale, and some Southern Tier Choklat Stout. We get back to his house and plop the beer in a snow bank on his back deck and begin to figure out when to leave.

But we had to wait for his wife first. She ran to Target for some stuff. So we had a beer as we waited. She was running long so we had another beer. Then she got home and she wanted help finding some ice skates. Now he was shoveling his way to the shed in the back of the yard. I had another beer as he worked. Soon he was popping the top off of another when his brother in law showed up with his kids. Apparently they were all going sledding.

Soon with was 2:00 and we realized that we weren't going anywhere. Now we were concerned about having enough beer. And building an igloo around the fire pit.

My buddy lit a fire and decided that a wall around the pit would keep the wind down and he had one of those snow block building thingys. So we started piling blocks on top of the snow he had moved out from around the fire pit.

We were doing some pretty good work but we had one big problem. We didn't have enough packing snow around to build up the walls of our beergloo. Yes, beergloo. It was an igloo to drink beer so it became our beergloo. Apparently the sun hadn't melted the top level of snow evenly around the yard. The snow by the garage packed much better than the snow in the middle of the yard. Add in the setting sun and we had to quit when we got it about shoulder height. When you were sitting down that is.

Sad to say the the sun and 47 degree weather killed our beergloo on Sunday. I tear up just thinking about it. More than when I think about the cancelled beer trek across Wisconsin. I think I just might make that happen still.

Please use some common sense

2011-02-09T19:01:00.001-06:00

Dealing with a ton of snow is aways a bitch. We can complain about that until the cows come home.

Dealing with the cold is always a bitch. When it gets below zero and you are crunching along on the snow covered sidewalk, you want to be anywhere but Wisconsin. Cows, complaining, you read it before.

My biggest bitch right now is the morons that live in my neighborhood. Specifically, the morons who park on the street. It is these lazy mofos that make life miserable for people like me after a ton of snow and the temps get below zero.

See, when we get a shit ton of snow, the plows are only able to push so much snow. They do not get close to the curb. The end result is losing about 4 feet on both sides of the street. With cars parked, it effectively makes side streets a one way street. If a car is coming down one side of the block, you may have to wait for that care to come all the way down before you can enter your side of the block. Otherwise someone will be popping their vehicle into reverse and backing up.

But to make matter worse, there are some parkers feel the need to not only park on the opposite side of the street to clog up that street, but they park directly across from a car on the opposite side of the street, making passing a challenge. You must crawl through to make sure you don't lose a mirror when clipping another.

I have seen and heard many a side mirror crunch is way off when one car tried to navigate the road. I don't feel sorry for those people any more. If you would use some common sense and park on just one side of the street, other cars could get through easily and you wouldn't get sideswiped by another vehicle.

Not gonna get hosed again

2011-02-08T11:40:00.003-06:00

Either he didn't listen or he didn't think I was serious. I told my tenants back in July I wasn't going to buy another shower hose for the one they keep breaking. I think they are like $15 a piece and there was no way I was going to take my time and money and buy the fourth one in a year.

It is silly.

It is sillier when they insist they haven't done anything wrong. These things just don't break by themselves. Especially when this had never been an issue before.

My tenant says that the water pressure is too high for the hose. I don't buy it. Maybe if they didn't open the water faucets all the way they wouldn't have the problem. I'm pretty sure the hose can take quite a bit more pressure than what is going through it now.

I think the real issue is that they keep futzing with it. It is an external unit with a handle attached to the shower head. One can take it off the wall to make sure they get their under carriage clean. I think they are twisting it each time they take it off the peg it rests on. Even though I told them to leave be and not pick it up, they probably have and thus, we have hoses breaking every couple of months.

When I spoke with him I told him to go buy the hose himself and save the receipt. He can keep returning it and replacing it every time they break the damn thing.

Body slamming boulders

2011-02-05T12:28:00.002-06:00

This past week really had me out of sorts. The blizzard and resulting cleanup left my body aching and my mind a wreck. It put me into a bit of a funk.

I can handle snow. But I wasn't prepared to handle that much snow. I don't recall having to deal with three and a half foot snow stretching over a 15-20 yard stretch. When the snow is too high for a snowblower there is nothing you can do but shovel. And that is a lot of shoveling.

But once the initial cleanup is finished, it isn't really finished. This is where I found myself in a funk. I found myself worrying about having to clean up more snow. I was worried about waking up and having to go dig out out a wall of frozen snow in the morning. I was worried about coming home from work and finding a pile of snow in my driveway, blocking my car from my garage.

All this worrying knocked me out of my usual routine. I usually come home and work out. I feel sluggish if I don't get that exercise in. This week, I was not only sluggish but feeling really lazy. I was more interested in getting out of work and having a beer. I knew I could set aside 30 minutes but I didn't care. I just wanted to polish off the New Glarus that was in the refrigerator.

Thankfully the weekend saved me. It gave me time to plan and get control of what is around me. I needed to widen the driveway and clear out the corner. The plows have pushed a lot of snow around and I was still responsible for making sure people could pass through the corner and onto the sidewalk. I also needed to get some room on the driveway. I had enough until some asshole smashed into the mountain of snow that separates my drive from the alley. The really narrowed my drive when I came home and had to dig out, freezing my ass along the way.

Before getting outside I got on my bike and rode for a good 35 minutes. Once that was done, I felt invigorated and ready to get the driveway back to the width I set it at after the blizzard. I got outside and began body slamming boulders that I carved out of the mountain of snow. With each chunk that split off, I had to carry it about 8 feet down the road and toss it to the side. When the boulders were big enough, I picked them up with my hands and slammed them to the ground, as if I were in a wrestling match. Hey, I am allowed to let the little kid in me out every once in a while.

Because the city came around earlier with their snow thrower, my corner was opened up with no effort by me. I just needed to clean up some of the mess that was left. I tossed some salt down on the sidewalk and called it a day.

Now I might go get some wings and drink some more beer. This time though it is because I feel great.

Deathstorm 2011!!!!

2011-02-02T16:13:00.003-06:00

My body is tired. I am worn out. Spent. Laid out.

I have spent 3 hours shoveling, another 15 minutes helping people shovel out cars, and too much time worrying about the plow coming through late at night and having a wall of frozen snow at the end of my driveway come morning.

I love Wisconsin.

I never thought this snow would be so bad. I was dealing with 3 1/2 foot drifts on the sidewalk. They were up to my gut. Up to gut snow mean that snowblowers are somewhat useless. You will need to do some shoveling to get the snow to a level that a snowblower can take it all out. When You have a smaller machine like I do, you are just about stuck shoveling anyways. The snow walls get too high for a small machine to throw the snow over.

My original plan was simple. Cut a path down the sidewalk so people could walk through. It may be the width of the shovel, maybe two, but it would be a path. From there I could widen it later on. So I went towards the garage first and made it to the alley. That probably took 20 minutes. I cut out some markers for the driveway so I would have an idea of how much I would have to clear to get my Rogue out. The best thing about a 2 car garage is having some extra space to put snow when absolutely needed.

Once I had cut a path to the alley, I went back to cut the path to the corner. I started battling the gut high drifts. Usually there is some relief but this was a good 15-20 yard path that I needed to get through. I could go about 5 minutes and clear about 4 feet before reassessing the situation and making sure my path was still on the sidewalk.

As I progressed towards the corner, I heard a snowblower behind me. The neighbor was pushing his was down the path I had created, widening it as he went. Relief!

Or so I thought.

Remember I said that the snow was too high for snowblowers? Well, he tried to get through the drifts but couldn't. He suggested I push through and cut a path for him. So I did.

I felt like I was holding a machete and thrashing my way through a deep jungle of vines. I was a mad man, tossing a couple feet of snow to my right, pushing forward, waist deep in snow, with a single goal of getting to the corner, moving enough snow out of my way so he could toss the rest to the street.

The snow wasn't as deep towards the corner and I barreled on through. I was tired when I made it to the other side. Thankfully a different neighbor had gone through the front sidewalk and cleared that. That side was maybe a foot and a half of snow. Interesting how the blizzard winds deposited its snow on one side.

Once he got through on the side, he redid the front of his house and pushed back down. I was way ahead of him, making my way back to knock down snow so he could make another swipe. It was just over an hour since I had gone outside. A big portion of my shoveling was done and I was quite grateful for the help from my neighbors.

After some rest and lunch, I was determined to guarantee some freedom. I was going to carve out my driveway. I also needed to uncover the steps to the front door. Round 2 was underway!

I decided to take care of the driveway first. Having the ability to get the Rogue out of the garage is important. It allows me to escape if necessary. Isn't that what we Americans do? Drive when when we want?

I hacked away at the snow in front of the garage. As I did, I noticed a problem that wasn't totally unexpected. I was going to run out of places to put the snow. I then decided to go with one of my other plans. Kinda like what happened earlier. I would shovel enough snow so I could use the snowblower on the rest of it. That way, I could throw the snow into the street where they hadn't plowed.

This worked out pretty well. It took some time of shoveling, blowing, shoveling, blowing but I was able to carve out enough towards the street that I could use as a template for later. I knew that when the plows came through that this work would pretty much be destroyed but it was necessary. I stopped short of clearing more knowing that my mortal enemy- the plow driver- would destroy my hard work

I moved on to the front steps. There was a shit ton of snow on the steps. Drifts that had me wondering where to start. So I stuck the shovel in until I found concrete. Every couple of minutes I could move up a step and get towards the door. As I did, I noticed a guy begin to dig his car out. I kept an eye on him as I wondered what the heck he was doing. At one point, he finally got into the car and started it up. Then he kept the windshield wipers going as they kept scraping at ice. I chucked as I kept throwing snow about.

The steps weren't that bad. But I could tell the snow was melting a bit and settling. Unlike the earlier shoveling where it was all fluff on top with a 4 inch crust on the sidewalk, the top has slightly melted and frozen making a crust on top that I had break through. Not a big problem, just interesting to me.

Once the front steps were done, I offered to help the guy get his car out. He was pretty much done and declined my offer. Hey, I tried. Sure I could have offered earlier but I had work to do and I wanted to be entertained. Instead I went inside to have a beer. The Flying Dog Double Pale Ale was calling my name.

I was able to get some work done and speak with a friend from work before the first plow went by. I studied his work and concluded that no action was required. Earlier I had seen two plows go down the front street. One was in the center of the road while the other was closer to the curb. This plow was going down the middle. Another pass was imminent. I waited about 10 minutes before he came by again before dealing with the carnage.

The area I had cleared was pretty much full of snow 4 feet high and 3 feet deep. I still believe that had I not cleaned it up earlier it would have been worse. But now I had a good idea of what needed to be done. I started hacking away and took up the previous strategy. Clear enough to either side and then use the snowblower to throw snow across the street to the unplowed area. I took some time but I got it all done. I even helped out the neighbor by knocking down snow at the end of the alley so he could throw that snow out.

Just when I thought I was all done, one of the tenants decided to get his car out. Being the good guy I am, I walked over and just started shoveling around his car and helped get it out of the snow. It was the least I could do. My neighbors helped me so I had to pass it along.

One of the great things about Milwaukee. In situation like this blizzard, neighbors get together and help each other out. Makes me happy to live here.

Ruining the neighbor's day

2011-02-01T08:35:00.002-06:00

I don't think the snow was that bad last night. About 4 or 5 inches fell but it was blown about making for uneven surfaces. The sidewalk was blown up into 18 inch drifts leaving some of it bare. I was tempted to shovel the whole thing but decided the snowblower was the better choice. Especially with the wind blowing. At times I looked like a snowman as I was covered from the wind blowing that white stuff right back at me. My corner property does little for me to avoid the wind.

After I was done clearing snow and making some coffee to warm up, I settled down to get some work done. As it got lighter outside, I began noticing the kids walking down the street to the school. The little ones were accompanied by a parent. I couldn't help but think I do not feel sorry for any of them. As a kid, I always had to walk to school on days like this. And I never had a parent escorting me. I trudged along in the snow, face down from the wind, just hoping to get there.

As the morning went on, I soon heard a snowblower in the alley. I looked out the window to see my neighbor looking for some snow to clear. When I cleared the snow a couple hours ago I did a quick buzz in front of his house. Many a time he has cleared my sidewalk just to get to his so I owe him more than a couple passbys. I watched him for a bit thinking he looked disappointed. Someone had plowed the alley, the sidewalk was done, and the only snow he had to clear was the walk to his house. Did I ruin his day by clearing the snow?

Maybe tomorrow I be extra lazy so he can take care of the sidewalks. Though he is a much older gentleman, I think it might make his day. Especially if we get over a foot of snow. His machine would do a much better job than mine.

Just saw the plow go by. After I finish cursing I may have to go do some shoveling.

Buttload

2011-01-31T07:59:00.002-06:00

A co-worker asked me if they changed how much snow we are suppose to get in the next couple of days. I told him yes. He asked me how much now. I responded "A buttload".

Now, a buttload can be a different amount to people. I guess it all depends on the butt. In this case, Mother Nature has one big fat ass and she has been eating Mexican food all weekend!

I can't believe I just typed about buttloads.

So a bunch of snow is on its way. Maybe 7-8 inches tonight, another 15-18 tomorrow night. Cold, extremely windy conditions on Wednesday. Blizzard conditions. The "don't-go-anywhere-unless-you-absolutely-have-to" kind of weather. The funny part is that those who tell you not to go anywhere are the news reporters who have ventured off to some truck stop, driving through a foot of snow just to get a shot of trucks parked so they can tell YOU not to go anywhere.

I am ready for the storm. I have plenty of beer in the house. Food? Who needs food? I bet I can get Jimmy Johns to deliver. And if those bastards are there in a reasonable time I sue them for not be freaky fast! Show them to make those annoying commercials!

My big concern about the storm is not the snow. It is my missing snow hoodie. I receive this fleece hood a couple years back. It is very warm and perfect for shoveling snow. I can't find it this year. It isn't where the snow shoveling stuff was kept. Now I need to find something to keep my head warm when I am out there battling the elements over the next couple of days. Hopefully I won't drive myself crazy tearing apart my house, looking in one last vain attempt to find it. Beside this morning that is.