Thursday, January 13, 2005

Another thought on drinking and poker

While drinking, I sometimes think about drinking. Or poker. So what do you do when you have two great tastes that go together? Go online of course!

I dedicate this to you the true pioneers of the poker blogging world. Check them out by clicking through to my poker blog. After answering the question of what to drink when playing poker, I thought of something a tad more perplexing:

What to drink when playing the Hammer?

Hmm...not as easy as it sounds. I went to see if there was already a concoction called The Hammer. Alas, there was not. I found some that were close and not quite. So here are some suggestions and THE recommendation.

First, it is easy to get rid of everything that has a gay name. Velvet Hammer (Creme de Cacao, Vodka, Cream) is quicly disqualified. If someone heard you were drinking a Velvet Hammer, they would ask were your boyfriend Todd was.

The Jack Hammer is close. Jack Daniels and gold tequila. If you drink that, you have no problem playing the Hammer at any level. That will not only put hair on your chest but on your monitor as well. Unfortunately, the Jack Hammer would have to be hoisted when playing the Jack Hammer, J 4. See BadBlood,Tuesday Jan 4 entry.

The Fire Hammer sounds like something out of Vulcan’s handbook. Vodka, Amaretto, Triple sec, Lemon juice. No, too fruity looking. It may actually taste good. Where is the fire in that? Slap some Tabasco in there, maybe.

Though it sounds like something that you would only drink when playing online, you may want to introduce this to that special someone in your life after playing some poker, the Pajama Hammer. Guava juice, Vodka, Blue Curacao, Peach schnapps is probably better at bringing down a sweeter pot that anything you may drag online. Then again, if your Curacao is blue, you may want to see a doctor.

The first runner up is definitely the Irish Hammer. Jack Daniels, Irish Mist, Bailey's Irish cream. It is Irish. You don’t argue with the Irish when it comes to drinking. They are professionals. But this doesn’t quite win.

Thus I present to you my solution...Thor’s Hammer. Just like when you find the right time to play the Hammer, you need to have something that isn’t quite common as well to drink when you do play the Hammer. I bet after drinking this vodka, you will not only play the Hammer often, you will see results beyond your wildest belief. Like most vodka, you want to keep this in your freezer and take it out when necessary. This works especially well in a home game. Picture it, playing the Hammer and sauntering to the icebox and pulling out the bottle. If that doesn't totally piss of some people at the table, then nothing will! And you will surely get some sweet action after that!

And if you just don't know what the Hammer is, or just don't get it, it is too bad. Go immediately to the bar and get a drink.


All Things Dave said...

post on my site is complete.

I doubt the manliness of Wisconsin people.

Lite beer? No flask advice?

I may as watch "The View" on daytime TV.

All Things Dave said...

please excuse my ignorance but what is "The Hammer".

As for the rest of your excellent rants - I have put them on my blog.

Blog on, kindred spirit.

See ya at the tables.

All Things Dave said...

'nuff said.

I will raise a toast to your site while I have a beer and watch the Steelers game.