Thursday, August 04, 2005

State Fair time

And it’s the sex, the gods, the freaks, the frauds.
They’re messin’ with me, Come on, come on, come on.
Let’s get it on!
-Across the Nation, Union Underground

What does that have to do with the State Fair? Well, forget the sex and gods. The freaks and frauds are soooo there. Beside that, I like the song. Bonus points for anyone that can name the TV show it is the theme to.
The freeway goes right by the fairgrounds right along where they set up the rides. The usual bunch are there, the Tilt-a-Whirl, the Zipper, a merry-go-round, and other hyphenated rides. I didn't care about any of those. What my eyes were drawn to on my drive home yesterday was the huge, giant man laying there. I don't know exactly how to describe it. It is a big man, a story or two high, laying on its back. I have no idea what this is.
On the way to work, I tried to get a better look at what this giant man was. But I didn't see it. Here I am trying to figure out where this thing went as I barrel down the highway at 65 mph. Then I see it. Or was it left of it. In a heap. So now I know that we have the world's biggest blowup doll being shown at the fair. I guess they are looking for a more diverse crowd. The least they could do is have a big blowup doll for the guys!
Yep, the Wisconsin State Fair is an interesting place. There is a little town within the grounds. Really there is. Buildings, street signs and all. All surround by cow, pig, sheep, and chicken barns. On the racetrack will be hard rockers like Cinderella and Ratt, as well as Cheap Trick. I don't feel the need to mention the country acts. Ok, I admit it, I don't know who they are.
The State Fair is a place to watch the city folk and country folk mix. Very easy to pick out who is from where. If they got flannel, they country. If they are staring wide eyed at the pig with the huge balls, then they is city. And please don't ask about the pig with the huge balls.
Of course it doesn't matter where you are from to look like a freak. There will be too many women walking around with guts hanging out of the half shirts they should not be wearing. Too many guys walking around with shirts that look like they have been washed since June, with tattoos and cowboys hats. But throughout this mess will be the diamonds in the rough. Afterall, that is what us "shallow" people go for anyways.
Probably one of the best things about the Fair, beside all the places that have live music, is the beer prices. Unlike Summerfest, any establishment can charge what they like for beer. So it doesn't hurt to be observant when walking around the grounds. You may find beer cheaper one vendor over. Of course, you never have to walk too far to get a beer. Even by the Bud area. Smart vendors sell Miller pretty well over there.
All this talk about the Fair and I may not even go. I will probably end up there at least one night. Just to catch all the freaks and frauds. So let the games begin!
I started watching what I eat this week again. With so many thing going on in July, I ate too much junk. I rarely eat fast food, but I had little time for anything else. That has changed. Plus I have given up munching on all the candy that is laying around. That has been tough. My assistant always thought it was great to throw Butterfingers at me when things got hectic. The look on her face when I told her I was laying off them for a while was one of sadness.
I even passes on the cream log cakes. Another girl brought those in yesterday. They looked like Ho-Hos on steroids. They were big and looked damn good. But I didn't partake. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I had a Ho-Ho, a Twinkie, or a Ding Dong. Wow that sentence looks pretty damn gay. First blow up dolls and now gay sounding snack cakes. Need to correct this. I can't recall the last time I had a snack pie (cherry of course) or Suzy Qs or some of Little Debbie.
Yeah, all that is gone for now. Oh well, I always have beer to fall back on. Hey, I said I was going to watch what I eat, not what I drink.

3 comments:

J. Gambino said...

Don't ask me why I think I know this. Wasn't that the theme to the old WWF's RAW? I always would catch the beginning of the show for some reason. Do they even have it any more since they changed it to WWE?

djw said...

It'll be a while before I live that down, won't it?

Aleta said...

The Great Gambino is correct (as usual). The song is the Raw Theme.
And, no Dave, you probably will never live down the usage of the shallow term.