Friday, September 16, 2005

Rolling down the river

I was at work yesterday longer than I wanted to be. It was only 30 minutes but it wasn't because of my own actions. I had to wait on a report that was due that morning. I got it at 3:45. I had to review that and submit my own report that was due that day. I hate waiting for others to do their job when it affects mine. I wasn't in a bad mood. But I wasn't in a great mood either. Somewhere in between.

I could feel it on the drive home. Energy was low. I was thinking how I was going to work out when I got home. It wasn't long before I knew what my routine was going to be that night. The 12oz. declining curl. This one courtesy of Rolling Rock.

When I entered my house the first stop was the refrigerator. Grabbed a green bottle, popped the cap off and ahhhhhhh....that's better. Much better.

I don't know what it is about Rolling Rock that I like. I don't drink it all the time but it is a great change up beer. It has a unique taste. Like Leinenkugel. It has a unique taste that satisfies a thirst like no other beer can. If you didn't guess it by now, Rolling Rock was basically my dinner too.

I sat at my computer intending to just read my emails, stare at my new racktacular wallpaper, and drink the night away Thorogood style. I had no intention to do anything let along play some poker. But before I could stop the mouse, I had two games up and going. I made some money before losing interest and blowing it all away.

I then put the TV on to see what was on. I missed Survivor (I am not addicted to the show but have a passing interest) because I noticed one of my favorite shows was on. The over-acting minister was on God TV blasting heavy metal music and the violence associated with it. I like these shows because they take everything to the extreme and totally over analyze music. He blamed heavy metal for the evil that exists in this world. Somehow music is destroying not just the world, but the church as well. He tells a story of people listening to heavy metal, feeling the Devil inside them forcing them to go to destroy churches. He says that people will go break into the church to steal their sounds system so they can start a heavy metal band. Hey, I think that is how Slayer got started.

But as the show goes on, I find out he is not slamming just heavy metal, but also county music! He compares country western to heavy metal and says it is just as abad. The constant theme in country music is adultery and violence. He quotes some song as "She broke my heart, so I broke her jaw". Yeah, that makes Pantera and F*cking Hostile look tame alright. I have friends who listen to country so if they can name the song, I will gladly buy them a beer. I think I need to tell them to switch their music as well. Apparently they are going straight to hell!

Then he says something smart. He says a guy came up to him and said if he was reborn, he could no longer have sex with his girlfriend. That was something he didn't want to give up. Amen brother!

So basically all music is bad. Even Stryper! Yes, he points out that supporting Stryper supports the company that puts out zombie movies like Return of the Living Dead. The rockin' bumble bees will not save you. But I could have told you that.

I think the most disturbing part is the stories he tells where he blames the music that the person listened to as being the reason for their actions. We have seen it before where Judas Priest and Ozzy were sued because some guy committed suicide and the parent blamed the music. He tells a story about a lady who shot her 3 kids in the car. She then shot herself in the arm and went to the police claiming it was a carjacking or something. Problem was 2 kids survived and testified as to what really happened. This was a pathetic attempt to please her boyfriend (he hated her kids) so he would marry her. The preacher's analysis wasn't that this lady was crazy or had a mental condition. He blamed it all on Duran Duran. Those pretty boys recorded her favorite song, Hungry Like the Wolf, which just so happened to be playing on the car stereo at the time she pulled the trigger. Makes me wonder what would have happened if she listening to Rio.

He also picks on Culture Club, the Greatful Dead and Air Supply. Yes, all music is bad. But we knew that about Culture Club.


J. Gambino said...

I can't believe you said that about Culture Club! Do you really want to hurt me?

Blonde said...

I have never been called "racktacular" but I will take it as a compliment!

StB said...

As you should!

James Wigderson said...

Air Supply? What's wrong with my Air Supply?