Perhaps we better start from the beginning...

But first....
DMN>Romo's the best in NFC, at least for a month
Tony Romo was named the NFC's Offensive Player of the Month. No surprise, since he passed for 1,199 yards and 11 TDs while making about a dozen did-you-see-that?! plays.
Romo's biggest competition for the honor was his hero, Brett Favre. And Favre was a distant second, judging by the stats.

Romo: 72-of-121, 1,199 yards, 11 TD, 3 INT, 112.9 QB rating, 10 carries, 71 yards, 2 TD

Favre: 112-of-170, 1,205 yards, 8 TD, 2 INT, 97.3 QB rating, 9 carries, minus-2 yards, 0 TD

Just a little dig on my Packer friends.

And back to the beginning.

I was up early on Wednesday morning. I didn't sleep well in anticipation of a good vacation. To me the vacation starts as soon as the plane gets off the ground. Then I am free of the world behind me and can dive into what will transpire next. I try to keep plans to a minimal when vacationing; I prefer spontaneity. To me, the best stuff happens when you go for it at the last minute.

The flight down was great as usual. Midwest Airlines is the only way to fly. At least out of Milwaukee. As soon as I landed in Ft. Lauderdale, I found the bus to the rental car section, plugged away at the electronic kiosk and found myself in the garage staring at the cars. When I booked the reservation, it told me I would get a Pontiac G6 or something similiar. Truth was, I had a wide choice of vehicle. Saturns, Hyundais, Pontiacs, Toyotas. I did see 2 PT Cruisers sitting there as well but there was no way I was driving one of those. Gambino would have given me shit for months. I chose a Corolla and was soon trying to find the turnpike.

The Florida roads can be confusing. When I found myself on a road and not the highway, I immediately headed to the gas station to find out where the hell I was to go. I was then back on the highway and soon would miss the turnpike ramp that I wanted. I was still going in the right direction, but this would take me through Miami and make my trip about an hour longer than it need be.

Getting to the Keys isn't that hard. Get on US 1 and you get right there. The speed limits fluctuate between 35 and 55 depending on where you are. The real problem is Florida drivers suck. There is nothing worse on than being on the road with people who insist on driving below the speed limit. I have driven in FIB land (Illinois) where they drive 30-40 miles above the speed limit but rarely do you find a bunch of people driving slower. And they weren't all geriatrics! Getting stuck behind that slow muther ucker when it is all no passing zones is really frustrating. I believe that stopping for a sandwich and hitting up a liquor store was one of my better ideas on the drive down.

Eventually I made it. Found the hotel ok and got settled in. Gave Al and call and was soon over at the house. Beautiful place. Drank a couple Makers and ginger while I caught up with Al and the boys. Having eaten little all day, the whisky got into the system quickly and I was quite relaxed when we walked on down to the bars.

First stop was a place called Cowboys Bills. I was a bit confused. No not by the $1 bottles of Pabst special, but because Al was going straight to a country bar. Huh? We headed to the back in the "sports" section where a lovely bartender gave us drinks. I guess later on there would be topless bull riding going on. Works for me! Soon the rest of the gang would show up and we would go to the front of the house. Unfortunately, a band started up, one that I personally thought wasn't that good. So when Lewey and Landow suggest we head down the street, I was with them. I had my fill of twangy music for the night.

Little did I know they were leading me to a den of debauchery. Ok, I knew we were going to a strip club. Part of the reason I was willing to leave topless bull riding. Well that and the women that looked like they would be on the bull weren't too appealing.

I had heard about Teasers through the early week stories. I believe I had a basic understanding of the rules and was more than willing to adopt a stripper for the week. Especially after we went in and two girls immediately were on top of Lewey and Landow. I see how this works. It was funny actually. They boys did a good job of laying the groundwork. All I had to do was my research and figure out which orphan I would support for the next couple of days. I didn't have to wait long. Before I knew it, Lewey was paying some girl and yelling at me to go have a good time. A nice brunette with a nice body took me to the back and we *ahem* got to know each other. For the next couple of days, whenever we went back, she would soon appear by my side.

And yet, I still have no clue what her name is. I know quite a bit about her, but not her name. But I am proud to say that I have done my duty by supporting this lovely lady. I think everyone should adopt a stripper when they can.

As Derek would say "Strippers are people too!"

And that's one to grow on!