Saturday, January 26, 2008

Grabbing a Big Butt Monkey by the tail

Work was hell. When I received the email announcing a get together at the bar across the street, I couldn't get out of the office fast enough. I needed alcohol to relax and provide the balance I needed.

I walked in the bar and grabbed a big butt that was in front of me. Well, I guess I should say I grabbed a Big Butt. Leinenkugel's Big Butt Dopple Bock to be exact. I was hoping to find the Big Eddy but they didn't have it. So I settled for the Big Butt mainly because it was back in season. The Big Butt Dopple Bock is ok. Not as smooth as German dopples and lacking a sweet after taste. But it was good enough for the cause.

After downing a couple, I headed home. I knew the liquid dinner was the way to go. I was just hoping the local liquor store would have a good selection to choose from. I was wrong. The shelves were practically empty. Once again I was wondering if they were going out of business or just purging the inventory. With little to choose from, I had to make a choice. I was hoping for a nice dark beer, mainly an Imperial Stout. But they didn't have any. There was a slew of Belgian brews, but nary a stout.

Thus, when I saw the Golden Monkey by Victory, I knew high octane was the way to go. WARNING: Be prepared for the consequences of grabbing this monkey by the tail. It will mess you up! This is one monkey that does the spanking. This is how I felt after the Monkey beat me up.

But the Golden Monkey was warm. I needed a cold beer to start. I went to a reliable backup. Spaten Optimator. Hey, if I was going high octane, I was going big on both beers. I could drink the Optimator until the Monkey got enough of a chill to enjoy. Funny, the Optimator boasts a nice 7.2% alcohol content, but looks puny in comparison to the Monkey at 9.4. Like a good friend, the Optimator did its job before stepping aside to let the Monkey finish me off.

Good beer. Go drink it if you can find it.

And now for something completely different just for the Bracelet. I was out shoveling this morning, taking care of the couple inches that littered the sidewalk. The cute blonde girl was across the street, shoveling her steps. We joked about the snow and being sick of winter. I mentioned how I would rather have the snow instead of being in the deep freeze we were in. She laughed and said "Yeah, I guess. My breath smells bad enough that I don't need to see it."

* blink blink*

Uh, ok. I think I hear my cat calling. Talk about a mood killer.

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