Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The ugliest day to be in a bar

I am not Irish. I don't fake it for one day. Thus I am at work and not out drinking. Sure I would like to be but it was a fight to get Friday off. Besides, today may be the most ugly day to be at a bar.

Today is like Clash of the Titans. Or is it Revenge of the Nerds?

On one side you have the micks. The drunken bastards of Ireland who go out to the bars blabbering about some Patty dude while wearing green "Kiss my Blarney Stones" shirts and sucking down Guinness and Jameson. They don't start when the bar opens at 6 am. No, they started last night when the bar was closing at 2:30 am. These shamrock fuggers will continue chugging their beer and whisky until they pass out sometime tonight.

On the other side you have the wild eye amateur. The person out of college who thinks it is a pip to wear green, pin on the "Kiss Me I'm Irish Today" button, and hit happy hour because people are doing it. They will walk into the bar and drink the Budweiser because it is free and because it is dyed green. They will look at a Guinness and put their nose upward at the darkness of the stout. Give them a shot of Tullamore Dew and they will take a sniff and put the glass back on the bar untouched by their lips. They may choke down an Irish Car Bomb and call it tasty as they make a face. And they will pass out in 2 hours if they stay out that late.

What truly makes this the ugliest day in a bar is that these store factions will clash at some point. That point will be based on the one thing they may enjoy together. The food. The corned beef and cabbage that a number of places will be serving will bring these groups together. Especially in the bars that offer it gratis.

But what happens when the seasoned drinker and the newbie drink and eat too much? The hurling begins. For some of those veterans are not as seasoned as they may think. The rookies can hold their mud to begin with. There will be puking today. It is a given.

That is why it may be the ugliest day to be in a bar. The drunks in full fall down mode by 4pm with the stench of someone's stomach in the air.

Enjoy! And make sure I have a Smithwicks waiting for me at 5.

On a different note, Al had mentioned he was going to try the 24 Challenge. His twist would be a shot and a beer each hour for the 24 hours. I don't think he will notice the difference of the beer here. I don't think he will feel like he drank anything when the 24 hours is done.

Has it really been 4 years since I did the 24 Challenge? It does not seem like that long ago. I have give some thought to it over the past year. With Al improving it I may give it another go as well. My alteration would be different. I have kicked around the idea of going with 24 craft beers in the 24 hour period. I wonder if the body can handle beer at 8% alcohol constantly being introduced into the blood stream. Curious minds may need an answer.

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