Saturday, June 12, 2004

Those perverted female friends of mine

Last night, while drinking and watching the Brewers game, there was a party that a bunch of my friends were throwing going on in the party bar over beyond the volleyball court. This party was pretty exclusive. I believe they called it a "Dirty Girl" party. I guess they have some lady come in and talk about the latest sex toys that are on the market. I being of the highest morals was disgusted by it ;). At the end of the party, when some of the women were drifting over to the main bar, I went over to the party bar just to make sure it was cleaned up and see if they needed any help (hey that is what one does when they are of the highest morals). These girls are chatting away carrying their little gray bags with all the goodies they purchased. And it seemed that every one had bought some kind of nipple balm. Yes, I said nipple balm. I had no clue such a thing existed, but they were looking forward to its use. And there are apparently many varieties and flavors of nipple balm. I guess Jodi was thinking ahead as she came walking out not with a bag of goodies, but like a 40 gallon tub of products. I guess I know what she and Randy are doing this weekend! One girl had bought some rubber thigamagig that was suppose to go on the guy and wrap around his, ah, nuggets. Basically, some kind of cock ring. And she was eager to show me how it was put on. No way! I don't want some rubbery, springy thing wrestling my boys down into some kind of headlock! Plus it had some kind of vibrating thing that could go in it. Freaky!

So a single guy would be hitting the jackpot by going into this bar right after this party. Or so I thought. Because all these nipple balm buying women were married! WTF? Not a single horny balm buyer in the crowd. That is just wrong.

So today, I went out for bike ride. Got out the trail bike and went to the lake. I like riding next to Lake Michigan. You get a nice breeze and a great view. Surprisingly it didn't smell either with all the crap (literally) that has been dumped into it. I chuckled as I saw the sign by South Shore beach showed the quality of the water was poor (yeah, no shit Sherlock). The problem with the bike trail though is all the walkers. They always seem to be oblivious to what is going on around them. They sprawl all over the path. Proper etiquette is to announce you are behind them and tell them something like "On your left" or "passing on your right". No matter what you do, you will freak them out. Some of these morons even move to the direction you warned them about. And the people with the dogs are best, especially when they have them on the long leashes. The good owners will reel them in like big fish. Others seem to care less. The last thing I need is to be buzzing along and get clotheslined.

As I ride, I like to observe and think. I was thinking of the Brewers victory last night. I was amazed that they played so well with little sleep. They got into town from California at 6:30 in the morning. Basically, they need to be back to the stadium around 5, so they really can't get much sleep. After being on the road for 2 weeks, they need to catch up on stuff as well. Heck, one of the catchers even slept in the locker room instead of going home.

I never noticed the houses that face the lake are basically wide open. You can see straight in to them. No naked people seen today. Later as I go through another area, it seemed all the houses were closed. Did not need to see the guy mowing his lawn without a shirt. I noticed along one area on the street the "No stopping, standing or parking signs". Why would anyone want to stand there? It is the middle of a long stretch of street. There is no reason to stand there. Was there a problem with people standing there that they needed to put up a sign? Maybe it should read "No stopping, standing, parking, or applying of nipple balm".

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