Wednesday, March 30, 2005

That damn new store

Everyone thinks that bigger is better. New concepts will appeal to the masses. Make everything beyond conveneint. Copy what someone else is doing so they do not have an edge.

A couple months ago I talked about how I checked out a new grocery store and didn't like it. Well, my store of choice just opened a new place and I don't know if I like it or not. Parts are bad, parts are good. But there is one TOTALLY WRONG thing that has been done. I dare not speak of such atrocity but I will.


See, the problem with new grocery stores in that they cater to the laziest sons of bitches in the world. When you walk in there is the big produce section followed immediately by one big food court. If you want food already made for your lazy self, then you have come to the right place. Let's see....if I want 8 pieces of chicken, do I really want to go to the grocery store or do I go to KFC? They have this salad bar right in the middle. I guess you pay by the pound. I can't help but wonder how many people come walking by and start sticking their fingers into this thing grabbing a cherry tomato here or a cucumber slice there and muching on them as they go by. I did enjoy watching the lady scooping out pineapple like Hawaii had sunk that day. Guess she doesn't know that Dole learned how to can them. Besides, how long might that pineapple been laying there? Sure scares me.

Over by the chicken was the Olive bar. Yep, I ain't kidding about his one. An olive bar. Now I want to see them team up with the liquor department and run a special where you get a deal on vodka. That would impress me.

I did find the new store a big intimidating at first, but then I noticed that the layout is quite similiar to what they had. The aisles are basically the same order they were in the old building (which I guess will become a Home Depot), with with little twists. I had to do a double take on this one. I looked at the sign showing what was in this aisle and it read. Kosher, Hispanic, British, Polish. Wow! The Brits and Pols have their own section now! Now I can see the Pols getting it, this being Milwaukee, but how did the Brits rank up there? Those limeys have their own section for biscuits and jam? Then I see it is a 3 foot section and 5 shelves (or how many there are). It was maybe 3/4 full. Maybe someone came through and bought the bangers already.

There are also organic sections in each aisle. I skip that as I need my chemicals.

I found it interesting that there appeared to be people meandering about like they were walking through a mall. Aimlessly walking around as if they expected the free sample lady to pop out with some kielbasa on a pretzel stick.

The store has that new nice look to it and they did keep the aisles wide enough. But as I mentioned I have a major problem with the place.

I get to the far end and see this sign that reads "Cheers". I have found the best part of the store. Liquor!

But there is a sign on the doors that read "Please enter through the front of the store".

WTF? You just built the place. If I can't enter through these doors, then why put them there?!?!?! Just to tease me, that's all. I suddenly feel like Al Swearenger and plan to call anyone working there a cocksucker but calm down before I can find an employee.

Then again, I could always switch stores. Last night I saw an ad for some place that has 40 pounds of chicken legs on sale for $16. Maybe I should shop there. Though I have no clue what I would begin to do with 40 pounds of chicken legs.

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