Monday, April 18, 2005

Cars and soccer

It was a nice drive home yesterday. I had the top down on the Mustang, belting out some AC/DC. The car purred like a kitten on the ride home. It felt good to feel the breeze and the warm sun shining on me.

As I drove, I started to wonder about people that grew up in big cities, such as New York, and wondered how many of them owned a car. Do a number of them never learn to drive? I think of Seinfeld. Out of their group, Elaine was the only one that didn't own a car. George didn't own a car for a while either. For the most part, they only drove when they went to Jersey or on a date. There were parking hassels. For the most part, they got around using public transportation.

That is the image given by most TV shows. So I began to wonder how many people in New York never take a driving course, besides the taxis, that is. I can't imagine what it is like to never own a car or drive.

Unfortunately in Wisconsin, too many people drive. We have idiots who think they can wait to turn into a Walgreens parking lot not caring that they are blocking traffic behind them. The old people who do 50 on the freeway. Or a dipshit who passed me on the left just as I was turning to pull into my garage. A split second later and I would have T-boned him. I then would have gone to jail because I would have kicked the living piss out of the old fart. And I am not a violent person. Just don't do anything stupid by my car.

Saw some girls playing soccer at the high school. They had rigged some netting over the field goals and were playing on the football field. Rather creative I thought at first. Then I thought of how they were ruining a good football field. That led me to think of how soccer is the downfall of America. Boys should not be playing soccer. Wait, let me clarify that. American boys should not be playing soccer. In countries where they have always played the sport, go nuts with it. You are good at it. America is not. American boys should not play soccer.

The only kids that play soccer are the ones who either are uncoordinated and cannot play baseball, or whose mothers will not let them play football. Hitting a baseball is arguably the most difficult thing to do in sports. A round ball is coming at you in excess of 90 mph. You have to hit it with a round bat. Not easy to begin with. Then you have to hit it where the fielders are not. Lots of hand eye coordination. Some kids simply can't do it. No problem.

Bulk up and play football. But the mothers get scared that Little Johnny will get hurt. Get real. The kid needs to toughen up. Football will let him hit with pads on. He may get bruised but a serious injury is doubtful.

Because kids do not play baseball or football as much, they are growing up as fat little wusses because the other mothers that don't let them play baseball or football are too stupid to understand that Nintendo is not a sport and won't get those chubby kids outside running around.

Ok, don't know exactly how that one ended like that. Looks like two days of rambling about very little. Man do I need for Vegas to come and come quickly (hey, sounds like sex with a stripper!).

Here is a thought that puzzled me yesterday:
If you were a Muppet, which Muppet would you be?


Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Trying running at full speed and controling a ball with your about hand-eye control. I grew up playing pop-warner thru high school, baseball, and wrestled post high school...but today I only watch soccer/futbol on t.v. it's a graceful sport and one which there is so much strategy. loose, tight and passive-aggresive...sound familiar. Those soccer players get killed on the field...imagine getting clipped without equipment running down the field full speetd. oh, I would have to go with Animal.

J. Gambino said...

I have no comment regarding the soccer thing, I think Joaquin has done it well enough for everyone.

As far as the Muppet I would be, the obvious answer would be Miss Piggy, on a physical level rather than a mental one. On an intellectual level, I think I am most like Sinister Sam. "I wanna know who bought the last box of crayons and Y" (You did not say the Muppet had to be from the Muppet Show)

Human Head said...

I must respectfully disagree with the soccer comment. Soccer takes every bit as much finesse and skill as baseball or football, it just requires a different skillset. Personally, I wish soccer was more popular here in this country, but I think chances of me winning the WSOP are more realistic than hoping for that.

Muppet? Gonzo minus the nose plus triple the head size :)

James Wigderson said...

Soccer is a boring sport, and the reason the fans get drunk and riot is because there's nothing else better to do at a soccer game. It's not like you actually expect them to watch, do you?

Ralph the dog.