Wednesday, May 11, 2005


My prior post-drinking advice- has been given an important update.

I looked at the grass upon my arrival from a boring workday. It was my intention to cut it down after working out. I would ride for a half hour then get the mower out, cut the grass and maybe get a pizza.

As I rode the bike I thought about where I would get the pizza from. I was leaning towards DeMarini's but Papa Murphys was creepy into my brain. Good pizza at a cheap price. I can't beat that. But I really didn't want to heat up the kitchen on a nice day. I will go with DeMarini's, Milwaukee's best pizza.

After sweating away, watching TV to pass the time, I put the bike away, changed clothes and looked outside. I'll check my email before I get 'er done. Log in and see I earned a bit more of my Noble bonus. Sweet. As I sat there, I "accidentally" loaded up the poker. I will play an hour or so and then go mow the lawn. I searched for a menu for the pizza, mainly for the phone number. I couldn't find one. I knew I had a DeMarini's menu somewhere. I will relax and play cards and then I will find it.

An hour later, I look outside again. The grass isn't that long. It can wait until the weekend. A half hour later my stomach grumbles. Oh yeah, the pizza. I look for a menu again between hands, wondering why I have menus that are over 5 years old still. I look inside the refrigerator and see some brats. Those look good.

A half hour later I am eating the brats, up $25 on the soft 1/2 game, thinking the grass can wait. Afterall, there is a bonus to be cleared here. At about 7, the bad beats begin to hit and I begin to drop down. I am playing a tournament at 8 so I decide to stop for now. Besides the Brewers are on. Damn, down 2-0 to the Phillies.

I watch a bit long and the Brewers take the lead in the bottom of the 1st. It is at the bottom of the first that I look at the clock again. If I go outside right now, I can get the lawn done before the poker tournament. It will take me 15 minutes, 20 tops to get 'er done. I even go into the bedroom, grab a different pair of shorts to put on, look around for the lawn shoes and a T-shirt. I look at the clock and make a decision. Ah, screw it! It can wait until the weekend.

My lazy ass plops down in the chair and I play Dope Wars on my Palm Pilot. The tournament starts and the action goes forward. During this, I check the weather to see what the 10 day forecast is. Rain. Suppose to rain tonight and over the next couple of days. Great.

This morning, I wake up and it is raining pretty good. The grass will be nice and long. I take my shower and stumble into the bedroom. I look and see I have grabbed the last pair of underwear- both shirt and boxers. Great! I could have been doing laundry last night too!

So now I have practically no food, beer, underwear, and long grass. Laziness takes it's toll.

Maybe my lazy ass should try and skip out of work and head to the Brewers game at noon. Anyone want to go? Any Phillies fans want to place a wager?


Human Head said...

"So now I have practically no food, beer, underwear, and long grass. Laziness takes it's toll."

I'm not sure why I found that to be so funny, but an hour later I'm still laughing about it. Good show.

AlCantHang said...

I love the Phils... but I've learned to never bet on them.

On a different note, here the menu for LaSalsa Cantina. Page 5 lists their Tequila's. Enjoy

James Wigderson said...

you really, really need to get married.