Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Dream interpretation

I am going to the Brewers game tonight via a friend's workplace outing. They popped for some good seats too (lower box). 3 hours prior to the game, the tailgating will begin. No limit on the numbers of beers I, I mean, anyone can have. Actually, I guess it is I. My friend sent me a copy of the email that went out and he pointed out one paragraph in particular that stated "If you notice that a fellow employee is impaired, please encourage them to stop drinking and make absolute sure that they have a safe means of transportation home." Nice. Being the guest, I can get as sloppy drunk as I care to. I have a free pass. Considering how hot it will be, I just may have to use it.

I had quite a bizarre dream on Sunday night. I dare someone to intrpret what the hell this all means. Sorry if it seems very fragmented as I tried to type it up with just the details but changed it as I went along. Other bits of info to consider: I wasn't quite sober, but not drunk as I had a couple of Lites in me as well as a Sprecher Dopplebock (dessert). I had eaten a brat with kraut, an Italian with onions, baked beans, pasta salad and some potato salad. I had watched UFC Unleashed, Most Haunted and the Family Guy before going to bed.

So here it is. You can do your own Wayne's World hand thing to go into dream sequence if you care to but don't forget to make your vision all squiggly before reading.

Someone was after me. I was in a school bus in a field with 2 pro wrestlers, a very young Hulk Hogan and Jeff Hardy. The person, who was another pro wrestler, Matt Hardy, was outside the bus trying to get in. We were looking out the windows trying to find him. Because this was freaking me out, I went and locked the front door and decided to drive away. For some reason, I was now the only person on the bus.

I pull out onto the freeway weaving through traffic. I am going over 70. I hear over the radio that the guy is catching up to me, running up to the bus. Next thing I know, I am hanging from the side of the bus, trying to not let him catch me and he reaches up to grab my foot. I crawl on the roof of the bus. Then the view goes to the back of the bus where this guy jumps onto the ad and disappears into it with smoke and fire.

Next thing I know I see him in a neighborhood doing some kind of chant. A beast made out of fire appears out of nowhere. For some reason, the beast is wearing a big trenchcoat. He gives it instructions and it goes down a hill. I start to follow the beast to see what it might do. It walks down a hill, with all kinds of shrubbery on it, towards some people. I walk halfway down the hill and hide behind some small trees. I watch the trenchcoatted beast walk up to some people, open his arms and create a huge burst of fire. But nothing starts on fire. It looks around disappointed and starts to go up the hill with someone. They begin to approach me, but I hide. I then decide to leave. As I climb back up the hill, I somehow have to walk over people that are sitting in a row of chairs. It seems like an auditorium, or stadium. I have to climb over people, hanging off the wall as to not disturb them. I get out and walk into the hall. As I do, a big fire starts inside the area I just left. It now looks like a high school hallway. A bunch of cheerleaders come flying out and everyone starts running out the door. I wait to see if my friends are ok. I see them and we leave the school.

Now we are walking out in a valley, along side a stream. As we go, a lightening bolt strikes a rock, revealing an ad for a King Kong movie. We turn to walk away and notice on top of the valley walls is
Gamara, the flying turtle. He is speaking about how this time King Kong will do what is right. Next to him is a big gorilla head nodding.

We continue to walk away from this scene. As we do, there are a bunch of apes on top of the hill. They are talking as well. They are dressed just like in the Planet of the Apes. They mention how they are able to communicate with the other animals and this time, it will be different. As we try to sneak by, the call out to some wolves who appear in the distance behind us on both sides of the stream. Then, one of the apes notices us and they come after us. The wolves start running as well. We start running and cross the stream thinking that may lose them. But the wolves were on the other side as well. We keep running hoping we can lose them.

Then someone shouts for me to stop running. It is ok, we lost them. Suddenly I am in a neighborhood, in front of someone’s house. My friend E and someone else is there and we are all huffing and puffing. E starts to walk up the driveway. I follow him and he walks right into the house. Inside is the father from Everyone Loves Raymond. He is sitting at the kitchen table and calls E over. He shows him a letter. It is a response to some kind of invitation. He is bragging that he got a response from
Get Fuzzy (a comic strip) and Baron Von Raschke. I notice that the return address from the Baron is Zurich Switzerland.

That is where the dream ended. Pretty damn strange, huh? Surprisingly, at no point was I running around in my underwear.

Now go ahead and leave comments with your interpretatin of this dream. As always the winner will get a beer but you do need to claim it.


Jason said...

It's pretty obvious:

1) You're gay - Matt AND Jeff Hardy in the same dream.

2) God is angry at you for being gay and for all the "Drinking for Jesus" - why else would a trenchcoated fire-breathing demon be in your dream.

3)You have a thing for Michael Clarke Duncan and Ray Romano - even more evidence in support of exhibit 1.

With all that being said ->

Glad I could help,

- jason

StB said...

Uh..thanks Jason. I don't know if that "helped" or not. Where does Michael Clark Duncan come into the picture?

Now I have real problems. Guess I have to change the porn I look at too.

StunBmun said...

Good news: you're not gay.
Bad news: You're a latent Cubs fan.

It might be better being a homo.

(who really is a Cubs fan)

Aleta said...

Go back and read all your past blog entries and I'm sure you will find mention of each person or item you dreamt about. Other than that you're on your own...you lost me at the school bus part.

Blonde said...

I think your problem is deep seeded in the fact that you are a Brewers fan.

That is where the evil lies..

Jason said...

Planet of the Apes + latent homosexuality = Michael Clarke Duncan.

The school bus part comes from the fact that you are a fan of the Dallas Crackwagon.

Glad I could help again,

- jason

J. Gambino said...

So I have numbered your dream sections in order as you have written them down. Let the interpretation begin…

Section 1 – The pro wrestlers are not a symbol of being a homo, but of strength. You need to be a strong person. Looking out the windows means you are searching for something, love perhaps? The fact that you lock the door means you have fear of commitment issues and tend not to let people get close to you.

Section 2 – Driving though traffic is a basic dream, I just think your regular life spilled over into your subconscious cuz you have that hot convertible and like to drive fast. Now your actions on the bus speak volumes. Hanging from the bus, crawling on the roof, you are a daredevil by nature. Or you were a stuntman in a former life. The disappearing into the smoke and fire reveals your hidden desire to become a famous magician like David Copperfield. Or at least go out with Claudia Schiffer for a while to dissuade rumors you are a homo. (again with the homo stuff?)

Section 3 – All this devil junk is your classic fear of the devil and going to hell as a result of your twisted Catholic upbringing.

Section 4 – You see here, I believe you were on some sort of cold medication or peyote.

Section 5 – Planet of the Apes? No I don’t see a thing for Michael Clark Duncan here. More like a Roddy McDowell fetish. Running away from wolves, using evasive maneuvers. I think this is more of your basic fear of commitment.

Section 6 – The fat that you stop running and end up with E probably means you were farting in your sleep. Peter Boyle in a kitchen bragging about something? I am certain you saw a commercial for the T.V. show. The reference to Get Fuzzy, however, means you will be getting laid very soon.