Just get me a person to talk to

Yes, you are about to read one of those “I just wanted to talk to a human being” rants. After my garage door opener decided not to work at all today (yeah, I said I would get this fixed early this week), I really decided to get something done. I had mentioned my problem to my mates (hey look, I can speak Aussie & British) and looked for any recommendations they could give me on getting someone to fix it. The Toxic Weasel insisted I call Sears. They would be the cheapest and maybe the best product in itself. I tell you one thing, if there is one thing the Toxic Weasel knows, and is, that would be cheap.

So I give Sears a call to get some more information after digging around their website. I want to figure out the difference between replacing what I have and having the current opener repaired. I get the cost of installation rather easily.

However, when I call the repair center, I get greeted by one of those nice automated voice systems that never seems to understand what you say. It starts out fine. I get past the first two steps rather easily. I find myself enunciating each syllable hoping it won’t through me into the hellish telephone loop. I am just about where I need to be when it can’t understand me saying “no”. Must have been programmed by a woman. JOKE. It keeps asking me again and again, in a very annoying cheerful voice the same fuggin question. Finally after 4 attempts it understands no.

I am then placed on hold. Not a big deal. I do some work as I wait. After sitting on hold for 5 minutes, it disconnects me.

WTF!?!?!? Is this a joke?

I call back and just about go through the whole thing again. This time, a co-worker is looking at me funny. Don’t know what as I am talking in fragments, not having a real conversation with anyone. When I get through the system, I hope- nay pray- I do not get disconnected again.

Finally, I get a human. Whoo hoo! (no that is not a whoo hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo Happy Lite cry of joy. More like Homer Simpson). She is able to give me the info I need and schedule something for this Saturday. Nice. Best yet, if the opener is dead or the repair is pricey, the cost of the service guy gets transferred to a new unit. Not a bad deal.
Only downside is that the service guy can show up any time on Saturday. They will phone ahead but it could be 9am or 3 pm. I am basically forced to sit around and wait. Mental note: Hit liquor store for beer for Badger game.