Thursday, December 29, 2005

Keep it at home

What is with people dumping their unwanted cookies and snacks at work now that holidays are over? I noticed a box of blue cheese pretzel twists laying in the supply room. What makes them think anyone here wanted this crap? Same with the gumdrop cookies and other stuff a co-worker brought in. She was begging people to eat them. If you don't want them, throw them out. I have done that in the past. But this year I will admit, I did devour Gambino's cookies. They were gone by Monday.

Man, I ate so much over the month of December. Time to take it easy for a bit. Thus I skipped out on bucket night. No, don't worry. I will not cut back on my drinking. Just drink a bit smarter, that's all. Same with food. That is why I don't want people bringing all of their crap food into work.

I am also purging my house of all that isn't good. You wouldn't guess it but I usually eat pretty well. I don't eat many snacks, avoid junk food, and generally watch what I eat. Beer and an occasional trip to Hooters are my vices. I can cut back a bit on the Hooters- food that is- and enjoy my brew in moderation.

Must have been slow news day yesterday too as the headlines on CNN showed that Tori Spelling was getting married again and the Dunkin Donuts guy had died. Now who in the blue blazes gives a flying fuck if the big nosed, boob jobbed Tori Spelling is getting married again? Get real! This whore had just gotten divorced a month or so ago.

Same with the Donut guy. Who is mourning his death? Oh wait, I know someone who probably is. On second thought, that is more newsworthy that the slut. People will miss him saying "Time to make the donuts". RIP donut guy.

And what is up with the crazy bastard running Canada? He blamed a shooting in Toronto on the United states. WTF? Beside the simple fact that there is absolutely no facts to back up this claim, he has the nerve to claim "the U.S. is exporting violence to the streets of Toronto". Yeah, right. And your sister isn't a whore. Stuff like that is appalling. Who does this clown think he is? Like Toronto is some prestine little city where nothing bad happens. Screw you! I say we show Canada a thing or two. We hit them where it hurts. We take the remainder of the hockey teams. That will teach them to fall in line.

I screwed up at work yesterday. Not really, but kinda. The craziness that should start next month has begun already. I sent the email early. I was thinking of coasting the last two days too. But responsibility took over. Now I will cut a groove in the carpet in the path from my desk to the fax machine. I will also cuss out all the people that cannot follow directions.

Why is it the post office doesn't sell individual stamps out of the machine but the food store does?

Why do I have to make out my check for property taxes directly to the City Treasurer? My check is made out to him, not the city. If I ever got ahold of that job, I would work there for like 3 years. On the fourth, I would disappear with all the cash. (insert evil laughter here) They would never see it coming. (add more evil laughter here)


James Wigderson said...

I brought pie.

WhisKeYGyrL said...

In that case, I'll drop off some cookies for ya! (wink wink) I (the diabetic) made a bunch of cookies this year! They are good but, Hell I can't eat em!!

AWE said...

Couldn't someone leave a gift card laying around for a restaurant?

djw said...

I still haven't stopped laughing about your last comment on my site. Thanks for making my day.

Aleta said...

I didn't get any cookies from Gambino and I'm somewhat related to her!!!

James Wigderson said...

I was going to say something about the donut guy, but I couldn't think of anything pithy or funny to say. Really just tragic.

Did I tell you I prefer Krispy Kreme?

Blonde said...

I am devestated that you claim that you are never Dial a Shotting me again :(. I am in Key West and buzzed so keep your phone on tonight!

I am guilty of dumping shit at work. I emptied out my cabinets and pantry and took all that shit to work. I don't want it in my house, besides I was going away.

James W. should know that Krispy kreme filed bancruptcy and closed it's last Philly area store. KK was a weakness for me.

James Wigderson said...


(Although I will always be grateful to a certain broker who told me not to buy stock when Krispy Kreme went public.)

StB said...

AWE is right. Leave a gift card behind so we can get something good.

Krispy Kremes are soooooo over-rated.

Joaquin "The Rooster" Ochoa said...

Tori is a slut...but I love the boob job.