Bad day

Work was beyond sucking yesterday. If I could have had a couple drinks during the day I would have been schnockered by the 3. It was that bad.

I sat thinking of way to describe the day. Shitty. Crap. Craptacular. Crappass. Fucking bad. Fucking shitty. Bullshitty. Fucked in the ass with a Bombat. Yeah, I have a way with the English language. I save my creativity for other aspects of life.

When I left work I was thinking if anything could get worse. I was storming down the hall in lower level of parking (it takes about 5 minutes to get from my desk, through the maze that is the building to my truck), I thought I may go straight to the bar and put it all behind me. But then I realized I could let this shit ruin my night or I could say "fuck it!" and put it all behind me. I went home, worked out to relieve stress, ate some pot roast, and then proceeded to play poker and drink. Seagrams 7 and Fresca are ok together. Tolerable.

People, you can let shit drive you insane, or you can let it go and move on with your life. I suggest you think of good and go grab it.

Like 'good boob management'. I don't care where you come from, that's funny. So is Bob. I guess I failed to piss him off yesterday. Instead I got a classic phrase.

I have also learned a couple things over the last couple of days:

• I could win a chance to play football with either Troy Aikman or Boomer Esiason if I bought a lucky box of Cheez Nips or some other crap snack.
• I could buy pants from the Sunday Coupon circular for just $10 (if I bought 3) and never have to worry about them wrinkling.
• I could get a banana tree too.
• If I bought this hair trimmer thing on TV, I would never have to pay for a haircut again. Think of the savings!
• Milwaukee really didn't need a radio station that was dedicated to play Journey or ZZ Top every hour. Thanks for being a suckhole, Hog!
• The majority of my co-workers cannot follow directions. They have been told 3 times what they need to have done by the end of the week, yet they still submit things incorrectly. I am willing to trade vacation days just for an opportunity to smack people upside the head who piss me off.
• A sure sign that someone is insane- they post messages on political forums. These people are beyond being saved.
• I have walked into too many conversations at the wrong time. Phrases like "I was in the closet at the time" and "Take your underwear and shove it" are not things you want to hear when you just wanted some water.
• I will laugh at the next person who complains about gas prices if they also buy bottled water. They have no reason to complain when they are buying something that is free.
• Taking stress out on my cat through shock therapy may be cruel, but it is fun. Nothing like petting a cat to get enough static electricity built up just to zap him in the nose.

I may be heading off to Ho-Chunk on Saturday for some gambling. A little blackjack may be the cure for what ails me. Or maybe I should change jobs. I can be a parole agent and get paid overtime to view porn at work. They couldn't fire me so I would be set for life. Of course I would pity the poor tech guy who would have to fix my keyboard every week.

Now playing in the car: Blink 182, Anthrax, Disturbed, Motley Crue, Helloween, and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones.