Monday, January 30, 2006

Bizarre animals humping dreams

A title like that will have all the pervs coming to this site.

I wouldn't have mentioned one weird animals humping dream, but when I have two on consecutive nights, it means that apparently something weird is entering my head.

Also, it should be pointed out that the dreams were animalS humping, not animal humping. No harm was done to any animals in these dreams as they were humping. Also, I was not humping animals. That would truly be fucked up and I don't think I would admit that while I was drunk.

But it just seems weird to have two dreams somewhat similar back to back. The first involved a friend of mine that I used to go to Vegas with at least once a year. In this dream, we are going to the City of Sin and he is bringing his new pet, a baby monkey. I inquire as to exactly what the hell he will do with a monkey in Vegas. He gives the "I cannot leave him home alone" answer. Plausible I guess. We check into the Imperial Palace and head up to the room. After tossing my bag onto the bed, I open the drapes to see the beautiful view of a parking lot. When I turn around, there is a second monkey in the room. This is a much taller, adult monkey and it is wearing a cap. I ask where the hell the second monkey came from and what the hell is it doing going through the cupboards. My friend tells me he is making coffee and that it helps him perform. Perform? What do you mean, perform? My friend tells me he needs to feed the baby monkey. The best way to do so is with milk. Natural milk. The monkey has been hired to uh..help him get milk. At this point, my friend has turned into a monkey himself and proceeds to get banged by the monkey for hire.

Uh..ok.

Is my head fucked up or what?

But that ain't all. Last night I have the second dream. This time I am with a film crew that is going out to hunt werewolves. I think that idea was planted in my brain from the episode of American Dad. Anyways, I am filming this guy who is hunting a werewolf. He goes running through an opening into the jungle in pursuit. After some time, I walk towards the opening to see if he is ok. When I do, I see a cheetah or jaguar or some other big cat sitting right in my path. Not wanting to tangle with it, I slowly back away. As I do, another comes out from the side, startling me and causing me to fall to the ground. With both cats surrounding me, I slowly attempt to crawl away. They growl as I make my escape. Until one pounces on top of me and bites at my shoulder. For some reason, it's teeth are not tearing through my jacket into my skin. But then the second cat jumps on top of the first cat and proceeds to go to town. I stop still and begin to wonder what the fuck is happening to me? I have some cats having sex on my back.

There you go. Apparently I might be quite disturbed. Or just frustrated. Some truly bizarre thoughts going on in my noggin while I sleep. I don't even want to know what they might mean. I wonder what I might dream about tonight.

7 comments:

AWE said...

Dude, you are going to have to lay off of the Makers. That shit is killing some serious cells. Next you will be dreaming that you are Timmy trapped in the well while Lassie is off getting some from Benji.

StB said...

Good one AWE! Makers is not the problem. Maybe it was because I hadn't drank that much.

djw said...

"I slowly back away"-I immediately thought of Homer backing all the way home after seeing Apu 'doing' the Squishie lady.

Blonde said...

What the fuck are you eating before you go to bed????

I had a dream induced by NyQuil that I was making out passionately with Jessica Alba and she was humping me really fast like a dog. Does that count?

BTW, Jessica is a hot kisser ;)

Aleta said...

Good Lord....We better not hear any squealing coming from your tent at group camp.

WhisKeYGyrL said...

No kidding Auntie A... He's sleeping by your camper not mine... Have you hit your head lately, STB??? I bet you talk in your sleep too... ;)

Huge Junk said...

Sounds pretty normal to me.