Thursday, April 27, 2006

Blood Sport

I, being the giving person that I am, gave blood yesterday. Still amazed they take it after all these years. The hop and malt content must be pretty high. Maybe they use if for blood transfusions where they can cut back on pain meds. Get the drunk with my blood.

I think I may have talked about this before so bear with me. The questions you need to answer just to give blood are highly entertaining to me. Beside asking if you have any of 3568 know diseases, they get to the sex question. My favorite is the "gay sex" question. It is for men only and it asks and I can quote it because I tried so hard to memorize it because it cracks me up.

"Have your ever had sex with a man, even once?".
I bet that question originally did not include the "even once" part. I picture guys being asked the question and then wavering a bit before they answer NO. Then the vampire blood center worker looks them straight in the eye and says "Even once?". Then they break down and confess, thinking that if they did it once- just once- that it didn't count. Well, one time in college, my roommate's high school friend was over and we were drunk and I woke up next to him with a sore ass but that was in college and doesn't count.

Why don't they just add the Seinfeld line to the question as well. Have you ever had sex with a man, even once? Not that there is anything wrong with that."

They also state you cannot drink alcohol until you have had a nutritious meal, and no strenuous exercise for 24 hours. Ok, let me clarify, I can get drunk tonight, as long as I eat a salad for lunch? I am so in! So that is what I did. Ate a salad for lunch and Maker's Mark and ginger for dinner. No exercise to get in the way. I can see living like that.

Otherwise I am healthy according to them. Blood pressure is low. Well, what do you expect from someone as mellow as me? You cannot rock on with your bad self with high blood pressure.

It is a good thing I have low blood pressure too. Every quarter I go through a process at work where I need to collect report from each employee. I tell you, my tolerance for dealing with idiots is stretched even thinner. It can be frustrating. No matter how easy you make the process, someone will not understand it. I have reached the point of diminishing returns here. I need to find a way for these dipshits to just grunt into a microphone and call the report complete.

The Milwaukee tire slashers are going to jail, as they should. The sad and pathetic part is that some are comparing this sentence to what happend in the Jude case. Hmm...guys admitting to take punishment compared to a jury verdict. Not the same thing. Two of the slashers are sons of Milwaukee politicians too. Thankfully, one of them failed in the effort to be mayor. Hopefully these black leaders don't spin this the wrong way. They will only prevent Milwaukee from getting on better racial terms.

1 comment:

Hey Jo said...

I tried to give blood yesterday and passed out cold. This is the second time that I passed out so I am done trying that one.

I like the question that they ask you after you have answered all their other questions. You have the little sticker that states whether or not they can use your blood even after you have said that they could. I guess you could be pressured into giving blood and then just make them toss it.

I will bake cookies for the blood givers as my future contribution as every one knows of my great culinary skills :)