Monday, May 08, 2006


I got home around 1:30 am Saturday morning. I had an interesting night at the party. I drank enough beer and shots to keep me happy which was a good thing. My friend's ex-boss was annoying the living f*ck out of me and I was ready to pop him in the nose. All about something totally trivial. Being a caddy.

There wasn't much planned for the weekend besides getting the lawn cut at my mother's house. I loathe doing the first cut of the year. That is when you find all the problems with the house and yard. My mother is in her 60s now and doesn't do any kind of upkeep on the house. That falls to me and my siblings- no that all falls to me. I can get most repairs made but not all. This time around it would be worse than before.

After walking around picking up dead branches in the backyard, unclogging a drain pipe that had a foot of soil in it and picking up corn cobs (I still have no clue why there was a half dozen corn cobs in the backyard), I noticed the water spout on the house leaking. Not dripping, but running a bit. With my plumbing experiences lately, you would think I would know better than to try and tackle this one. By the time, I was done "fixing" it, it was running at a good clip. The only solution was to close the shutoff valve inside the house- something that already have been done years ago. And my key to the house is with my car keys, not the truck keys.

I band on the door a couple of times. My mom is most likely with my sister and the kids. I call there and leave a message. I finish cutting the grass and pack up to leave. I can't help but look at the house and think of all the work it needs. Paint. Minor roof repair. New garage door. I realize my mother cannot afford the house any more. I believe the mortgage is paid but she has no income. Beside the car it is likely her only asset. And it is slowly falling apart.

I pull away and decide I need a beer. A beer would take care of the headache I still have from the prior night and allow me to relax a bit. I drive across town and stop at Big Mommas. There are actually a half dozen people inside the place around 1. I grab a stool and start shooting the shit with Kevin the bartender.

My sister then calls back. I speak with her for a while about what is going on. She then gives me more information. I then speak with my mother and get some serious news. It wasn't a shocker. I think I have basically been trying to ignore it. After speaking with my sister and later, my brother, we all realize that we can't act like everything is good. I insist we get together soon to take care of things. In two weeks we need to figure out how to take care of my mother. We need to get finances in shape, her health and living arrangements. Part of it may be fixing up the house so it can be sold. I now have to convince my sister that she needs to have her move in so she can take care of the kids and tell my mother that she needs to sell her house. I don't know if I can do that. It feels cruel.

I was in the bar for about 5 hours. Did a couple of dial-a-shots to get my mind off my issues. Instead of becoming a total booze sponge I left while I could still drive. Alcohol can help eleviate the issues at first but it is not a long term solution. Especially at a bar where you can potentially make a fool out of yourself or get an ass kicking. I looked at the bottle of Maker's Mark when I got home. It was inviting, but I opted not to. Instead I sat down to think. Life is always going to put obstacles in the way. Some are good, some bad. But nothing one cannot get over. I have an obstacle to tackle. Won't be easy.

In a strange way, I am glad to be at work today. Two days after talking with family I have a much clearer picture of the situation. It is also a nice diversion. For once, I will get a lot of work done today. Then, I will be prepared for the other work that needs to get done.


Aleta said...

I dread the day that my siblings and I will have to make the same decision with my parents. I worry now as they're so far away. I wish you and your sibs the best of luck with Mom.

AWE said...

Man, I dread the day. My Dad does a good job with the house right now, but I know it won't be much longer until I have to take over.

J. Gambino said...

While painting my Mom & Dad's new house this weekend I told my Mom straight out she was going in a home. None of this moving in with me crap. My sister-in-law and I joke about who gets which one if the other goes first. She graciously has taken on my Dad. Good luck to her. All kidding aside, we are all much too young to have to worry about stuff like this already, aren't we? I wish you the best of luck and if you ever need anything, a shoulder, a ride, a liver, let me know.

Hey Jo said...

I know that can be a hard thing to do. We had to go thru it with hubby's mom several years ago. It was not a pretty thing. If you need an ear... let me know.