Tuesday, September 12, 2006

The drunks are taking over the state

It should be officially declared Drunkard Day in Wisconsin. Because the drinkers are taking over. Unfortunately, the smart drunks were busy and the dumb ones were grabbing the headlines.

Such as State Attorney General, a public drunk, is on the ballot for re-election. Yeah, it doesn't matter that she was arrested for DUI after she took office. Breaking a law while you are the top law (wo)man in the state doesn't mean a thing. Or that she was driving a state car at the time as well. Who in their right mind votes for her? Those that know she is throwing a kick-ass open bar victory party, that's who!

Meanwhile the pro *cough cough* football team in Green Bay has decided that NFL suspension doesn't mean a thing. They are giving Koren Robinson, noted drunk just cut from the Vikings, a chance to play. Hey, it's another receiver that Brett Favre can overthrow! I would love to be in the huddle for just a couple of plays...

Favre: "Ok, Koren, this play is called Fly Z Right Warthog 45. Got that? "
Robinson: "Uh..uh.. no. I just got here. And I have a hangover."
Favre: "Been there, done that! I wish I was drunk now."
Robinson (reaching into his pants, begins to pull out a fifth of Jack) "Need a pull?"
Favre: "Not here man! Ok, the route you want to run is 8 yards out and head to the right sideline. See the beer guy in section 120? Head towards him."
Robinson: "I see them both. Which one do I go to?"
Favre: "Both? There is only one! Maybe I need a hit of that Jack..."

And people wonder why Milwaukee is America's Drunkest City?

Speaking of which, I think I need to drink more on Sundays. Drinking for 5-6 hours during the day games may not be enough. Seriously. I noticed last year that I would usually be home between 7-7:30 after watching football all day. I would fall asleep around 10 or so just to wake up at 2 in the morning, right about the time the alcohol was getting out of my system. I would then be awake until 4-4:30, and maybe catch an hour of sleep before I would need to be awake. I figure that now I need to just keep drinking until 10 and then I can get a full night of sleep. The logic is working for me. Now I just need to put it into a test environment.

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