Saturday, December 16, 2006

When Christmas day is here

The family is just hours away from showing up on my door step. The house is clean. Most stuff has been put away. No food has been prepared.

Oh, I just got back into town.

I went down into Illinois to finish the shopping. Ended up in some ghetto mall in Aurora. Got drunk in some bars in Naperville and somehow spent $12 on Taco Bell. Don't quite know how I spent $12 on 4 burritos at Taco Bell.

Why go to FIB land to get the shopping done?

Simple. My personal shopper in down there. What she does in 15 minutes would take me 2 hours. Plus she offered to wrap all of my gifts. It just cost me the time and gas to get down to Naperville and some drinks. Like I wouldn't have been drinking anyway.

I just looked around at the table I need to clear for food. I think I will continue to type instead.

I headed down after work on Friday. I knew I would hit some bad traffic so I wasn't going to get wound up about that. What I hadn't expected was running out of gas. I had half a tank to drive on and forgot to fill up before I hit the highway. Thus I wasn't too happy when I got stuck in heavy traffic and the gas gauge lights up like a Christmas tree. I drove another 5 miles before I found an exit. Then another couple miles down some dark, winding road to find a gas station.

Got enough petrol to get me where I need to be and hit the highway again.

Shit! I should have been going west, not east. Need to find an exit and turn around. I now know that it costs you $1.20 to get off and back on the freeway in Illinois. Damn fibs!

Let's fast forward through the bullshit. Meet friend at mall. She shops. Leave to her apartment. I drink as she wraps. Go to dinner and bars.

We visited 3 establishments in the greater downtown Naperville area. Hugos which seemed to be the place for the after work crowd. Some guy was pounding away at a piano at the door accompanied by a bass player. I felt like I was playing Name that Tune as he rambunctiously played song after song. It was an interesting place. Most men there were rude. The fat ass sitting at the table by us refused to move his chair out of the walkway. Thus many people were bouncing into our table. Every single guy that slammed into our table kept walking like nothing happened. The only lady who did apologized profusely and offered to buy our drinks if anything had spilled. We left after a Guinness and a Bass were consumed.

Next stop was the Irish and hooker bar, Quiglys. I quaffed a couple Sam Adams Winter Lager as we tried to figure out if the guy at the bar was groping an Asian hooker or if she was actually with him. I was taking the non-hooker side of the best while my friend insisted she was a hooker. She pointed something out that screamed hooker. They weren't kissing. No lippage. As we watched the show and debated back and forth, two other chicks and a guy sat down on the other side of the table and joined in. They took up the hooker side of the action with one girl tossing in a new variable- mail order bride!

Break in the won't be here for 3 it too early for me to start drinking?

Back to the story... The lady got up to use the restroom. When she did, the guy came over to hit on my friend. She sat there as he came right up to her and laid his lips on hers. She freaked a bit but calmed down. They talked a bit. No, we didn't get an answer. We wouldn't because they left when the lady returned from the ladies room.

We left Quiglys soon after that. The band that was playing was rather atrocious. We headed out into the cold down to some place called Lanterns. But first, we stopped in another bar called Jimmys. I noticed two things in Jimmys. The place reeked of hot wings. Not bad. But it was also filled with college kids. My friend didn't want a beer there so I respected her wishes. I told her that I felt like I was just seated at the kids table in that place.

So we went across the street and into some place she hadn't been in before, Features. I didn't care for the place at first as it was a dance club. Some dj was spinning records and playing music I didn't particularly care for, but I can handle it. What we didn't notice was this place was actually two bars in one. We were in the small section. We headed over to the larger area when it took forever to get a beer. When we did, we ran into the guy with the hooker!

We yapped with them for a while. He was a good guy. He told us they got kicked out of Quiglys because the bartender thought they were drunk. Drunk? Hardly I thought. So we bought them a shot. Lunchboxes actually.

We hung out in the dance club for a while as we drank and watched the crowd. The dance music was beginning to get on my nerves as it all sounds the same to me. One thumping bass after another. So when I went to the men's room in the small bar area, the 80s dance music didn't sound that bad. It was C&C Music Factory I believe. So we headed back into the other area and snagged a table and drank. She would get up to dance every once in a while as I talked with the waitress.

Before I knew it, the lights were on. WTF? It was only 2am. Bar time already? I expected to be out until 4.

It was then that we made our run to the border. When I woke up, I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. I hung around as she wrapped the rest of the presents. Got on the road and made it home in less than 2 hours. The other thing I noticed about driving in Illinois is that the signs are just a suggestion. You can be driving 80 in a 55 zone and a couple of cars will pass you. Guaranteed!

So here I am. Got the meatballs cooking. Will be cutting sausage and cheese soon. I have the presents under the tree. Take a look.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to get a full shot of the tree without getting a bunch of furniture in the frame. As I said the other day, I get weepy when I put the "star" on top the tree. It gets me teary eyed just looking at it.

So I guess I better end here and go put away some other stuff. I also need to get some laundry done and take a shower. Yes, Christmas Day is basically here for me. I wonder if I will get a good haul this year?

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