A plan for the new year

I have this plan for 2007. No, it is not a resolution. It is a plan. A way to try to out to the stupid how stupid they are. Not quite sure how to execute but I do have one method in my mind.

I have ranted about how I hate people driving while talking on their cell phones. They usually clog up the left lane, varying their speed between 50 and 60, weaving a bit as they go down the road. I think in 2007 I let them know how I feel about it. From now on, I will lay on the horn behind them. Not to show that they should get their dumb ass out of the left lane and let faster traffic get by, but to 1) freak them out, or 2) give them something to add to their conversation.

Think about it. You are talking with you dumb friend who is buzzing down the highway and talking to you with the phone in their right hand, steering wheel in their left. You are making plans for bingo that night when they scream "Get off my butt asshole! I gotta go, some dickhead is right behind me, blaring his horn!"

See, I have the potential to make quite a number of things happen, most of them good. They may realize that they are holding up traffic and change lanes. They may hang up the damn phone. They may freak out, swerve into the median, flip the car over into oncoming traffic and never drive again. Yes, one can hope.

So think twice the next time you are driving and talking on your phone. I may be behind you.

There was an article in the local paper yesterday that caught my attention. It was a story about an 8 year old who was killed when a "large" table at a laundromat fell on her and her 11 year old cousin. The police report called it a tragic accident and her school district was told to make crisis resources available because of her death.

I read this blurb a couple of times because some things in it bothered me. Like why wasn't this little girl in school? I don't recall getting 2 weeks off during Christmas. We went right back to school after January 1. And does the school really need to have "crisis resources" at the school because of her death? These are 7,8,9 year old kids we are talking about. How devastated can they be? Are these 3rd graders going to be too depressed to out for recess? No, they will have forgotten by that time.

The other thing that gets me is I know some damn blood sucking lawyer has already contacted the family. Though it has been called an accident, I am waiting for the lawsuit to be filed against the laundromat. Think about the most likely scenario: the kids were probably playing around, on, and rocking the table in order for it to tip over. Last I saw, a table is not a toy and "large" tables do not tip over easily. Yet, they are going to blame the owner of the laundromat for this accident happening. My guess is they will say the table should have been bolted to the floor or something ridiculous. How about this...if the parents (funny how the story has no mention of where the parents were or if there was any adult supervision of the kids at the time of the accident) were watching their kids, it doesn't happen. If the kids are not monkeying around with the table, it doesn't happen. If the kids are in school, it doesn't happen.

It is what it is. An accident. When I was a kid, accidents happened all the time. You don't have to blame someone else for an accident. Most of the time, it is the fault of the one injured. Families should not be getting rich because of these incidents.

On a better note, I think, the Cowboys battle the Seahawks tomorrow in the first round of the playoffs. Man, I hope the defense shows up again. The D has been missing. That makes it harder to be an allas Cowboys fan. But the matchup is a good one. Hopefully I will be a happy ass drunk late Saturday night.