Friday, September 07, 2007

Mosquito buffet

It was like a scene out of a movie. The character runs to their car, just ahead of the snarling dogs that are chasing him. He jumps into the car, starts it up, and rolls up the windows. Just as he is pulling away, the dogs are jumping up at the window at the drivers door, slamming their bodies into the glass in one last vane attempt to get at the fresh meat.

Ok, they were only mosquitoes but there were 5 of them bouncing against the glass hoping to get a drink of my blood. But the windows on the truck were up and they had no chance to enjoy my tastiness.

Ha! Little bastards.

As the afternoon went on yesterday, I kept one eye looking out the windows, checking the weather. It was suppose to rain at 1 but it didn't. Same for 2 and 3. Between 4 and 5 the chance for precipitation was iffy. It was during that time frame that I drew up my game plan. I would go home, work out, and then drive back to my mothers house to mow the lawn. I was convinced it was a great idea.

No rain on the ride home, even though I kept the top down on the car. After riding my bike, I loaded the mower into the truck and got on the road. No rain had fallen as far as I could tell. Made my way through the heavy traffic (why can't these people drive faster than 40 mph?? No wonder traffic sucks at this time!) and had to stop at the gas station. Had a guy from Alabama approach me to talk about the Dallas Cowboys (he noticed the licensed plate).

I drove down a busier street instead of getting back on the highway. It was about 4 blocks from mother's house that I noticed the difference. As I turned into her neighborhood it was obvious. Of all the places in the city of Milwaukee, it rained heavy only on her block!


I laughed as I pulled into the driveway. I got out of the truck and surveyed the area. Went into the goat feeding area (aka the backyard) to see how bad it was. Sure the grass was a tad wet but it didn't seem like it was soaked through. So I decided I was going to make a run at it. I unloaded the mower and attached the bagger (my secret plan to finally taming this mess) and said to myself "Self, go mow. If that big dark cloud rains on you, call it a day, pack it up and head to the bar!" Good sound advice if you ask me.

So I began to cut. And swat. And wave.

I should have realized I had made myself the main course on the mosquito buffet. They were buzzing all around and I was doing my dangest to kill and avoid as many as I could. I cut about a third of the yard before the gods of rain decided I needed a beer.

That is when the snarling horde of mosquitoes made their final run at me. But I survived to drink another day.

Little bastards.

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