One sentence thoughts

I feel like I missed half of my face shaving this morning.
Maybe some of you can do it, but 5 hours of sleep doesn't cut it for this guy.
And no, the lack of sleep was not from any fun sexual activities.
Looking at the last sentence brings a tear to my eye.
Why didn't I have a beer last night?
Oh yeah, it was because I was staring at the bottle of amaretto I won at the church festival, grabbed it, and drank half of it.
I think it gave me a cavity.
I chased the amaretto with some Fresca.
Fresca may be the best mixer in the world.
Only other time I have done something dumb like that was with a bottle of apple Pucker.
Need more coffee.
Don't feel like working.
May take shortcut on project.
Technically not a shortcut but not the best way to go at it.
Someone gave me some candy that tastes like ass.
No wonder, it is from France.
Speaking of ass, how fucked up is this???
Hope no one was eating at the time they hit that link.
Only 7 1/2 hours to go!
Ugh!
The Miller commercial showing the dog jumping from the Bud wagon into the Miller Lite truck is amusing.
The Bud people need to get panties out of a bunch about it.
The commercial should have ended with one of the horses trotting off after the Miller truck, abandoning the Bud wagon for better beer.
Still haven't raked leaves yet.
More leaves to rake.
Good thing people aren't around this weekend so I can rake leaves.
Why aren't there any kids coming to my door asking me to pay them to rake those fuckin' leaves?!?!?
I should get a leaf blower.
Insert your own blower comment.
Bought a nice pork shoulder to cook this weekend.
Got some BBQ sauce with Guinness in it to pour on the pork.
Who is going out to drink out of plastic bottles with me tonight?
I wish I could slap this one chick's ass every time I walk by her.
One fine ass!
Need more coffee.

Afternoon update:
Just trying to get through the day is no way to live.
But I got a lot done.
I think I could eat chili every day.
Must drink and be out of the bar before karaoke starts tonight.
I only heard "cool" and "awesome" 14 times during a conversation between these two old hens.
Still don't have an ice pick.
What should I do this weekend?
Beside rake leaves.
"I just said up yours baby!"
Anyone know what song that is from?
Or artist?
Katie Morgan's sex toy show better be good.
Lots of naked chicks minimal.
I wonder if I could win a trip to Australia just writing a good post?
It is scary to walk into a restroom just as a vegetarian is leaving.
Man did he stink.
I like watching the cafeteria dude hit on all the young girls.
There is an article in the WSJ featurning Ralph Lauren paint.
I used Behr in the living room.
The urge to paint my kitchen has gone.
A Sapphire and tonic sure would hit the spot right now.
I tink it may be time to change the look of this blog.