Saturday, May 24, 2008

House check

Drive down street to house. People doing yard work all stop to stare at me. Maybe it is the Anthrax coming out of the speakers. Maybe it is my sparkling personality.

Go to back of house first. Recall something about garbage cans being in front of garage door. Cans- actually plastic carts- are there in front of left door. Or is that the right door? Depends which way you are viewing the garage. Is that the correct door? Don't care. They are in front of a door and not in the alley. I am just glad someone didn't go digging for cans in the recycling bin and tossed the other stuff on the ground.

Go inside. One cat greets me with a feeble meow. It then runs away a bit, stops, hisses at me, and runs. The other one bolts from out of nowhere to the upstairs. I chuckle at it skids on the floor trying to make the turn.

Read instructions. Garbage carts. Check. Mail. Go out to get mail. Looks like someone has some bills to pay. Wow, they bought that? Oh wait. Directions were to get mail, not read it. Maybe I can tape the envelopes shut and they won't notice the difference. Or toss the letters on the floor and blame the cats.

Give cats fresh water and food. Wow these cats are messy! Food bits are all over the place. Two bowls are empty but the back ups are good. I dump the water and replace it with some fresh agua. I am a bit concerned about the humongous bowl she has out. It is bigger than the cats. I hope one of them doesn't fall in and drown. I don't see any kittle life preservers or paw water wins either. Maybe I should put hot water in there so they can use it as a hot tub.

Go to change cat litter. Uh, where is the litter box? Must be downstairs. Found it. Holy crap! It is huge as well! These cats need to jump 4 feet in the air just to get in the thing! Must remember to dump in the garbage on the way out. For now, I will put it by the door. Hell, it can wait until Tuesday if I want.

Just about forgot to water the plant. Get cup of water. Drink it. Oh yeah, the plant. It is in the sunroom. They have a sunroom? Where? Walk around looking for the plant. This must be the "sunroom". Not much sun in here.

Looks like I have completed the mission for today. I then turn my attention to the cabinets. I recall hearing about how her mother found the good stuff in the cabinets. Apparently that is where the good cheese whiz is hidden. Then I see the can of Pringles on the counter and dive in. They must have left those for me. I don't want them to get stale so I pounce.

Directions for booze in basement are on the note as well. I have a bit of a hangover still so I don't think I will drink just yet.

Go downstairs to check out the basement work that had been done. I give it a thumbs up.

Go to where the glass for my drinking is. Room is cluttered with all the stuff they moved. Open fridge and find there is no Hamms. WTF? I believe I was promised the beer refreshing! Grab a beer. Root beer.

Go back upstairs. Think about trying the "licorice" candy but pass.

I recall the supposed ghost they have. Don't my own version of Ghost Hunters and place cup on paper, outlining the cup just to see if it is moved. Of course I will probably forget this when I come by next week. Decide I will log onto the pc to write this down and to see if I hear anything or see anything. I believe she had said she feels watched when using the computer. I do now. But it is a cat eating. I have a stare down with the cat. No ghost.

I am out the door. Must stop by Home Depot. I might mow the lawn today. Eh, probably not. That can wait until tomorrow.


AletaR said...

You were supposed to pay the bills.

J. Gambino said...

Did my bill for S&M Monthly come while I was gone? The ghost, just like the freaks, come out at night. Sorry about the Hamms. Feel free to snack on anything else. A plethera of candy is on the built in. Go nuts on the Dum Dums.

OMW said...

i hope you weren't playing anthraz TOO loud or else they might have reported you lic #
"Feel free to snack on anything else"------needs no comment.