Monday, February 16, 2009

Pepper spray your way to a good weekend

I was sitting at the bar talking to a friend on the phone. I felt this strange tickle in the back of my throat but didn't think it peculiar. It was only after I tried to clear my throat that I began to cough a bit. I noticed that others around me were coughing uncontrollably. I told my friend I couldn't talk and would have to call him back. Someone unleashed some pepper spray in the bar. I heard a "What???" just before hung up and headed to the the men's room. I coughed a bit in there before grabbing my beer and going outside to get some fresh air. Yes, I took my beer. I couldn't leave my friend behind.

Turns out this old broad at the corner of the bar was playing with her friend's key chain. She "accidentally" sprayed the pepper spray over the bar. It quickly wafted down the way and cleared the place out. I recall hearing a story about someone spraying pepper spray in the women's room and it clearing out the old bar next door. I didn't think the stuff was that potent. Now I know. To the old broad's credit she did buy everyone a round to apologize for her transgression. Buying a round always makes up for the discomfort in a bar.

I was happy to see the new season of the Amazing Race began last night. I think it is the best reality show out there. People win to move on. There is none of this bullshit voting someone off so the best competitor gets booted. If you are smart or fast enough you are gone. Plain and simple.

The Amazing Race always has their stereotypical teams. The old couple, the young dating couples, the gay couple, the handicap person, and the people who think they have the perfect relationship but all they do is bitch at each other couple. This time around they brought back the hick couple for comedy effect I guess. In what may be the stupidest thing I have heard on the show, lady hick complains that he knows she can't run and that this is way too hard for her. Hmm...if you can't run, why are you on the Amazing Race? Race is in the title of the show so you know you have to haul ass!!!

One of the bitching couples was the first to go. Glad I don't have to hear their whining for the next two months. The best part of the show had to be the Swiss farmers laughing their asses off at the racer's expense. The task was to bring 50 pound wheels of cheese down a steep hill. There was some contraption they would put on their back to haul the cheese down. But there were two problems. The hill was pretty steep and wet. Toss in the landmines (animal crap) and it made this task tough. But when this carrier they have strapped to the back breaks apart like a stunt man's chair, well then you have people falling all over the place with this wood thing exploding. Hilarity ensues and the guys watching this are laughing their asses off. The deaf kid loses the fight against gravity and momentum takes over. Against his own will he is running down the hill before he slips and takes a hard fall, shattering the wood carrier into a million pieces and sending the cheese flying down the hill. The farmers saw this and busted their guts with howls of laughter. I guess the Swiss are not the most compassionate people in the world.

I also got back into the swing of watching Curb Your Enthusiasm on HBO. Not sure why I stopped watching this show as it is still pretty damn funny. This particular episode- Ski Lift- had be laughing my ass off. All because of the big vagina.

These big vagina ladies have been getting away with murder!

No comments: