A day in the Land of the Lost

Some may say I wasted a day off of work in front of the boob tube. I tried to get away but the thoughts of mowing the lawn slipped from my mind. It was nothing that couldn’t wait a couple of days. I don’t know if I will ever get a chance to watch these shows again so I took full advantage of it.

It was a Land of the Lost marathon on the Sci Fi channel. Growing up, this was a much watch show on Saturday mornings. I loved this show and have fond memories of it. Like the time I was at my cousins house. We had just poured our bowl of Freakies cereal and sat down to watch the show. Just as Grumpy would roar at the screen at the end of the intro, we would throw the cereal at the dinosaur yelling “Here Grumpy, have some Freakies!!!” Or how my sister would sing the theme song in front of the fan to make it sound funny. Good times.

I didn’t discover this until 10 or so and missed a couple of episodes. Otherwise the show had me captivated. Years after watching the shows I was entranced by it for different reasons, reasons a kid would see. A kid would see the dinosaurs and wonder how they did it and complain that they weren’t showing the dinosaurs more. Stories didn’t seem ridiculous and you just hoped they weren’t captured by the Sleestacks.

As an adult, it was more of wondering how the heck the Sleestacks caught anything. How could you not avoid a Sleestack? They moved so clumsily slow. They couldn’t sneak up on you because of the sound they made. How they caught anyone or anything is still beyond me.

As a kid you don’t notice how much of the show is shot in front of a blue screen. I will give the actors credit for this. At least half of the show has them speaking lines to things they don’t see, walking in a scene that isn’t really there, or pointing at objects that aren’t in front of them.

But the one thing that got me the most was how much of a whiny bitch Holly Marshall was. As a kid you didn’t notice what an annoying brat she was. As an adult you see that she always talked back, never listened, and didn’t do what she was told. Someone needed to tell this bitch to shut her pie whole most of the time. Plus the way she led Chakka on was deplorable. She was nothing but a cocktease to the the Pacoonie. I thought one scene with her being sniffed by Ta and Sa would lead to a threeway. I thought that might teach her a lesson having the Pacoonie in her poonie but then remembered it was a kids show.

I also noticed what a hippy Rick Marshall was. And a hard ass. And why does he go by his first name in the theme song. And why the actor that played Wil is referenced as Wesley in the opening credits. How long were they stuck there? Aren’t they any female Pacoonies? Was Wil going to tap that )Pacoonie poonie in a couple years or was there going to be a very special episode of Land of the Lost telling us that incest is bad.

So many more questions but no answers. That is probably what made Land of the Lost one of the best Saturday morning shows ever.