Monday, April 09, 2012

I watched a murderous rabbit on Easter

I think I watched one of the worst horror movies ever made. 15 minutes into the movie and I was baffled at how bad it was. The acting, the script, the lack of a real story line. It was so bad I couldn’t turn it off.
The movie was The Bunnyman. I saw this listing on the Chillar channel. My thought from the quick description was that someone made a movie out of the urban legend, The Bunnyman.
It was far from that. At least the urban legend was plausible. This movie was nothing but stupid.
It starts with some bloody girl getting out of a box and running through a junkyard. She hops into the back of a truck. Soon the truck starts and is driving down the road. Now, this truck begins to move and the girl doesn’t panic? Doesn’t get out of the truck?
Now we are watching 6 young adults driving along the road in a sedan. They come to the back of the truck and piss and moan that it is driving slow. When they get a chance, they pass the truck. But the truck doesn’t like it and catches up. It proceeds to honk its horn at them sending the passengers into a tizzy. The truck passes them, they pass the truck, the truck follows them, honk, honk,honk, rams them, blah blah blah. You get the picture.
Soon they decide to pull over and talk to the driver of the truck. Like you simply couldn’t outrun the truck? You couldn’t turn around and go back the way you came? How does pulling over sound like the best idea? When they do pull over, the truck pulls in right behind them. These rocket scientist argue over what to do now. The driver is about to confront the truck but the other guys say they should send a chick instead. Really you pussies? All 3 of your wimpy fucks can’t go out there?
So they send the chick who approaches the truck. The truck revs up and honks its horn again. She looks at the truck and reaches for the door. The door open, smacking her in the head and sending her ass over tea kettle. She gets up and goes back to the car. Of course, the pussies in the car do nothing to help her.
At this point, I was this Bunny Man to kill them all!
So she gets back in the car and what do they decide to do next? Get back on the road and drive like hell! No of course not. These wusses decide to WAIT IT OUT! WTF?!?!?!?!?!
The truck eventually pulls away. It drives to some place and parks. The bunny man gets out of the truck, grabs the girl in the back, (Yes, she went nowhere during this whole time!), and chains her to the tree. He puts the other end of the chain on his truck and pulls her into two pieces. I guess the director/writer thought that was a really cool effect to have in his move. It was pretty dumb.
All this time, these dopes in the sedan haven’t gone anywhere. They decide to drive at some point. But because they’ve wasted so much time, the truck is back on the road and runs them off.
Long story short, they all die one by one except for the hot chick. She and the other pussy driver, who suddenly got some balls and used a chainsaw on one of the bad people, end up stabbing the Bunny Man in the neck with a screwdriver and stealing his truck. They drive off, stating how they will need some serious therapy. The Bunny Man is then seen walking off into the sunset. Which is pretty sad because who will take care of his gimp back at the cabin?
Oh wait, I didn’t mention the gimp? Hey, even a murderous Bunny Man can have a pet.
So I wasted about an hour and a half watching this terrible movie. I wanted to bang my head into the wall when it was over. Not because it was the shitty of a movie, but the fact that there is a Bunny Man 2 coming out this October. WTF people!

2 comments:

SirFWALGMan said...

"So she gets back in the car and what do they decide to do next? Get back on the road and drive like hell! No of course not. These wusses decide to WAIT IT OUT! WTF?!?!?!?!?!"

"So I wasted about an hour and a half watching this terrible movie."

erm, sounds similar.. I could even say "WTF! This moron see's the movie is stupid and decides to WAIT OUT! WTF! DUMBASS!" but I am too nice to do that..

zzccff said...
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