Wednesday, November 17, 2004

The road to millions

Tonight I may go home and drink heavily after I run some errands (why do you run errands anyway? why aren't they something you do?), I will grab a bottle of Maker's Mark, pour it into a glass with some ginger ale and ice and drink my way to millions. Well, not actually drink to millions but it could work. Here is the plan. Get snookered and start going through all the junk I have in my house. There is going to be something of value hidden in a box.

Why do this? Simple. I want to sell it on Ebay. Someone attempted to sell a grilled cheese sandwich with the Virgin Mary on it. Go ahead and look on Ebay. Ok, you may not find the original item but you could go Google it and see the story. The last bid was $22,000. Yeah, I doubt someone is actually paying that, but what did you see when you looked on Ebay. A fucking cottage industry for selling grilled cheese sandwiches. People created hoax products on this whole stupid idea and some will make money by doing so.

That is where the millions come in. I will find something at my house and go to Ebay and create a new market. Just the other day, I think I saw the baby Jesus in my iron. Ok, that turned out to be PB&J smeared on the side, but it could have been an image of the Lord.

Or maybe one of the shirts I use to work out in has a Moses sweat stain.

There has got to be something. An old tennis shoe that looks like Elvis. See, it doesn't even need to be a biblical figure. But yeah, I know what you are thinking. All old tennis shoes look like Elvis. But there will be something.

I can see my PayPal account going up in value as I type this.

And I get to drink some good whiskey while I search.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

AtJanet's candle party we were telling Debbie C. about your plan to make millions. She suggested that you sell the 6 month old jar of soup that she made for you that is still in your fridge.By now it could have turned into a horrible swamp monster or something holy. She doesn't have email but I'm supposed to tell you that you can keep the jar.