A Thanksgiving day

While drinking, I learned that I really rather not spend the holidays with my family. Well, not every one of them. I can do one or two majors during the year, but when they start making them up, just so someone who has nothing better to do, can get the family together, then I balk and am guaranteed to be a no show.

But Thanksgiving is one where I can get out of it if I want to. I just need to have the Packers play and I know I can head up to the bar and watch the game and have a Thanksgiving meal with them. But those bums weren't scheduled so I have to trudge out to my brother's place and hope to catch the majority of the Cowboys game. See, that is one thing that I loathe about having to do the family Thanksgiving thing. I don't get to watch my Cowboys play. I get to catch usually the first quarter and maybe the fourth if I get away from the table. But I am given grief for leaving the table. I don't need that bullshit. I need the Cowboys game.

So I woke up yesterday in a bit of a stupor. Around 6:15 to be exact I went and signed in to get in a poker freeroll that started at 8. I then went back to bed. Got up at 8:20. Oops! Went and got into the poker game. That lasted all of 3 minutes. I went to steal the blinds with 10 6, and got called by the big blind. Flop came A 10 6. Yes! I bet the pot and he called. Turn was a 2. I pushed all in and he called with A 3. WTF? Very stupid move. But he got lucky when a 2 hit on the river. &$#W%$#$^^ it!!! Needless to say I was done 5 minutes later, even though I doubled up twice but went out with A Q when another numbskull called me with Q J and hit the jack.

So I went back to bed again. Roughly 45 minutes later I got up and turned on the TV. The parade was getting started on two networks. Why do two different networks need to show a parade? And who the hell watches a parade on TV? I watched a bit of Divorce Court. Such quality TV on a weekday morning. Glad I work. I got out of bed, made some bacon and coffee. No that isn't some new dish. I went back to the computer to check email and the update on the Cowboys. I then started playing Lemonade Tycoon. Does anyone remember Lemonade from school? You run a lemonade stand and try to become the millionaire. McDonalds was giving away as part of the Monopoly game. I ended up playing for 2 hours. I guess that is why I refuse to own a PS2 or Xbox. I know I would play some game and the time would fly by before I knew it.

After I beat the game, I noticed it was quarter to noon. I had to leave in 45 minutes to go pick up my mother. I could get in a quick workout if I wanted. What to do, what to do. So I change clothes and grab my bike and turn on the Lions/Colts game. Man those Lions unis are ugly. And when did the Colts have the stupid looking helmet? The Colts have only just begun to dismantle the Lions when I start to pedal. Then something weird happens. I get a nasty cramp in my hamstring. It just tightened right up. I thought I could pedal through it but that wasn't going to happen. I got off the bike and walked it out. Got back on and started to pedal again. Cramp. Ouch! Shit! No workout today. Time to clean up and maybe I will be out of here earlier than planned.

I head over to pick up ma. Traffic isn't bad on the freeway. Cruising along at about 70 until I catch the sheriff. Traffic is mimicking his speed for the most part. He is doing 60. I crawl up behind him and follow along until I hit my exit. Funny how people act when they see a sheriff driving along.

I am happy my mom is ready to go when I get there. Though I love my mother to death, she can be too weird and childish for me at times. When she saw I was driving the Mustang, she gave a little cheer and jumped up and down. Uh, ok. She gets in the car and we talk a bit as we drive away. I had decided to take a different route today and headed down 91st. Suddenly at a stop light, she wanted to know where I was going. I told her "straight". Where do you think I am going? We head along on one of the bumpiest streets in Milwaukee. Or maybe it is the stiff suspension on my car. But it was like a drum beat as we bumped along. At one point, this old Grand Am comes flying up and passes me just to slam the brakes at the stop light. When the light turned green, she didn't budge. Then very slowly the car began to move. WTF? I changed lanes and get beyond her. The stink that car was throwing up was amazing. They must have burned out 2 gears at it took forever for her to get up to speed. But she did the same thing. Whizzed by me just to stop at the next set of light. Hey lady, get the damn transmission fixed!

As we continue, my mom brought up the show Desparate Housewives and how she is loving it. I refuse to watch the show only because it seems too popular and chick like. Then conversation then turns to CSI. Now that is a man's show. We discuss how New York and Miami versions just as good as Vegas. She then talks about the Who songs on the opening credits. She proceeds to say how she can remember these bits of trivia and all the songs from the past. Of course, she mixed up two of the songs with the shows but wouldn't admit it. She also had 2 titles of the songs wrong. But who doesn't get Baba O'Reilly wrong.

After I point out her error (in a nice son way), she then talks about how the radio stations are changing, not knowing I have the new one on. At this point, my mom suddenly turns into a dog. Ever notice a dog in a car? The short attention span they can suddenly have. She turned her attention to a speaker mounted by the window and started touching it. I explained it was part of the sound system and came with the car. From there, she started poking at the leather casing around the stick shift. Then she looks into the back seat and announces she sees a quarter (I am shocked she didn't ask if she could have it). Finally, we pass a field and she announces Cows! I should have rolled down the window so she could stick her head out.

Just before we get to my brother's house, Zeppelin is on the radio (The Ocean). She asks if Robert Palmer is still alive. What that has to do with Zeppelin I do not know. U2 comes on next. It was one of the few songs I like by them. My mom then started asking who this was. I found that funny because 20 minutes ago she was saying how she still knew all these songs. Thankfully, we are at my brothers house and I can escape the car talk.

Inside we say our hellos to everyone. My brother's wife's sister is in town. For the life of me, I cannot remember her name. My sister and her family are there as is my grandmother and her friend. My grandma can get a date but I can't. How sad is that? I grab some water and head downstairs to check out the remodeled basement and to escape for some football time. Unfortunately my 6 year old niece needs to find the time to annoy the crap out of me. I can kill some time before the Cowboys play, as the Colts continue to crush the Lions. I get her to fall for the classic Hide and Seek ploy. I tell her let's play. She runs off to hide as I begin to count. As soon as she is up the stairs and out of earshot, I turn my attention back to the game. She fell for it. A couple of minutes later she is back downstairs. I announce I found her. She claims I didn't try to find her. How could I not try when I found her right away. I get her to go hide again and tell her I will count to 50 this time. She runs away. I stop and get a beer. I see her trying to sneak down the stairs again and finish my count. 47 48 49 50. Because she is right behind me, I "found" her in record time. She whines that I didn't even try. It helps that her father is down there and he tells her she needs to hide and not cry about being found. Of course I torment her telling her she is the worst hider in game history. Yes, I dominate 6 year olds. They will never get the best of me.

The Cowboys game eventually comes on (since when did they move the game to 3:30?). They force the Bears to punt and move down the field and score. Julius Jones is looking good. So is the $20 I have on the game. Bears get the ball and punt again. But so do the Cowboys. Now the game gets ugly. The Bears have no offense. The defense scores again for them and it is tied at 14 at the half. This may be the best part of the day. Midway through the second quarter, they announce dinner is ready. I had noticed earlier that they are remodeling the dining room so it may be eat where ever you want. It is! Yes! I grab a plate and plunk my ass back in front of the tv. I get to watch the whole game this year.

Of course the 6 year old needs more attention and begins to annoy me again. I tell her to go away and give her the stern command to leave me alone. I was shocked to see her run and begin to cry. I didn't yell at her, just was stern. My brother-in-law was down there and looked at me showing I didn't do anything wrong so I didn't feel bad. He understood that the Cowboys were playing and she needs to stay away and be quiet. Of course, she would show up in the 4th quarter. So would the Cowboys. The Bears made one good play on offense all day. And it got them into field goal range. This was an ugly game. Some bad football being played. I had predicted a final of 10-7 before and suddenly it looked like I could be dead on. But they missed it. Wasn't even close. The Boys took the ball, with Vinnie Testaverde now behind center, and drove downfield 50 some yards for the touchdown. Hensen hadn't played well in the first half so Parcells made the switch. Fans didn't like it but I didn't mind. Vinnie could win them the game. I wasn't so sure Hensen could. Next series, the Cowboys pick off a bad pass and drive again for a touchdown. That is your final 21-7. For anyone who taped it, watch the first 5 minutes of the game and the last 10. That is all you need to see. I am happy the Cowboys pick up a victory.

But the 6 year old isn't. She insists on jumping on me. I throw her around a bit, but eventually tire. The game is still on and I want to watch the end of it. I slap the 6 year old on the rear and tell her to leave me alone. Again, it wasn't hard but she took off crying. Her father looks at me and says that he saw what I did and it wasn't bad. But the 3 year old thought it was. She climbs up onto the ottoman in front of me and starts to read me the riot act. I think I understand every third sentence. But she continues on and on about how mean I am to her sister and I shoudn't fight with her. She was so cute and she kept going on and told me to think about what I was doing. She would stop, go away and come back to lay into me again. Ok, I can handle 6 year old kids. As I stated before, I dominate them. However, this 3 year old was tougher. She won.

So the game is over, the pie has been eaten and I figure it is time to boogie. Nothing much happens on the ride home. My mom mentioned something about a Seinfeld special but didn't quite know when it was on. I drop off my mother and hit the freeway. I am flying along nicely until some liberal asshole pulls a lane change right in front of me and is barely doing the speed limit. I know he is a liberal asshole because of the Kerry and Bush hating stickers on the piece of shit car he is driving. There was no reason for him to change lanes. So I crawled up on him and flashed my lights. Didn't matter to him. Got around and continued on. Traffic seemed to pick up a bit by downtown. I got home just in time for CSI.

Cat was happy to see me home. I tried to read the paper and watch the show while petting him. I flipped through the guide and saw the Seinfeld thingy my mom had mentioned. That was quite good. Once that was done, I was out. Had to work tomorrow.

Overall, a good day. Family didn't drive me nuts and I got to watch the Dallas Cowboys win. Yep, pretty good day.