Monday, November 22, 2004

What do I want for Christmas?

It is that time of year again. Thanksgiving. Time to go pick up my mother, sit around my brother's house, watch football and go through one inevitable piece of hell. No not the whole family gathering process. I am talking about the dreaded Christmas list.

I hate the list. I hate it for one simple reason. Everyone wants to get a list from me, but do they ever give me a list in return? Hell no! That is why I wish the Packers were playing this Thursday. Then I could watch the Cowboys in peace. I could go to the bar and have a Thanksgiving meal with them, have a blast and not have to deal with the list. Yeah, that would just put off that bit of hell for a bit but any time delay is good. But if you want me to give you a list, should I get one in return? That isn't too much to ask.

Especially for my nieces. Guys are bad enough at buying women things for Christmas. We don't really need to muddy it up with getting little women stuff as well. So my sister better have a list for those little people for me. Because then it is simply going online and letting the UPS man make a delivery.

Then again, I don't need a list from them. I have already decided what I am getting most of them. And I don't care if they like it or not. Because I am happy with what it is. They, like me, do not need anything so my idea is better than anything they could ever get.

Back to my list. I don't ever really want anything that I haven't bought for myself already. So I end up getting things I am too lazy to go to a store to get. Like a good frying pan. I didn't have one so I through that on the list. Got a big honkin' one that year. That was good. Last year it should have been an omelet pan but I forgot.

But now I am trying to think of what I can put on a list just so I can shut some people up. I think I am going to go with logic this time around. Trip to Vegas. That is it. I don't know of anything else that I want or need. So I will just tell them trip to Vegas. I thought of this new coffee machine I saw a commercial for but there is nothing wrong with what I have. Maybe I should just surf around and get some other ideas.


James Wigderson said...

If you don't really need anything, ask for a gas powered hedge trimmer. And a wood chipper. And a table saw. A miter saw would be awesome. Then you can donate it to the "Will & Moira Wigderson" Home School Renovation Fund. Otherwise I have to sell you candy bars.

Anonymous said...

Moira??? What the hell are you doing to that kid?!?!?!?

StB said...

Moira??? What the hell are you doing to that kid?!?!?!?

James Wigderson said...

Moira. She will have more Irish in her from both sides of the family than Barry Fitzgerald and she might as well have an Irish name. That way when she asks for whiskey nobody hands her the domestic or Canadian stuff.