Friday, January 07, 2005

Dave has questions, I have answers

Being the blog of the people who like a good cocktail, and one who will always answer questions of those who read, I give the shout out to Dave. He has some damn good questions. I believe I have damn good answers. Go read what Dave has to say.
All Things Dave

For those that are slow, or have been drinking, Dave's questions are in bold. And believe me, he had questions!

C'mon man! Tell us what drinks are good for what occasions! For example:
1) Bad day at work. Any alcohol. Go to nearest bar and drink what first comes to mind. Seven & Seven isn’t a bad spot.

2) Girlfriend mad at you. Captain and Coke. But drink in moderation. You have two things you have to be prepared for. If you come home and she wants to make up, you need to be able to perform. If you come home three sheets to the wind, she will be even more mad at you.

3) Girlfriend broke up with you. Makers Mark. Whisky is always the ticket in times of romantic sorrow.

4) Meet new girl. Go for drinks. What to order to impress her? It has to be top shelf. This go with the assumption that you both have all of your teeth and are not going to some dive bar. Top shelf there would be Bob’s Vodka and that wouldn’t impress anyone.

5) It's freaking freezing outside. Makers in the flask. You need a pull to get you through the cold out there. And if you don’t have a flask, your manhood should be questioned.

6) It's ungodly hot outside.
Mike’s Hard Lemonade. Not only will it make the heat seem like nothing, you won’t get all schnockered as fast.

7) Best friend has a newborn son. Whatever your best friend wants to drink. You let him make the call. It is his day. Just make sure you raise a glass to toast the new family. P.S. You may have to take some responsibility here and make he doesn’t get sloppy drunk. He may want to celebrate, but it is your duty as the best friend to know the mother. If she will allow him to celebrate and turn the volume to 11, then by all means, hit it! If she is going to ride his ass for getting hooched, then you must stop him.

8) Watching football. Beer. And plenty of it. But at the end of the game, you must get the olives off of the Bloody Mary bar. Dump vodka in wit the olive juice for dirty martinis.

9) Watching PLAYOFF FOOTBALL (insert Howard Dean scream - yee haw!)
Beer. With shots if you have money on the game. Beer and football is like spaghetti and meatballs. Ernie and Bert. It just goes together. Dirty martinis only apply if your team is in the playoffs.

10) Having a drink with the boss. What to order? Obviously not a white wine spritzer. Yeah, this is a tough one at first look. But not really. Order a good drink or craft beer. Top shelf is acceptable if he orders it. But I would go with the craft beer because it will set you apart. Stay away from imports like Corona or Heineken. While Heineken is a good beer- only if it is fresh, and it rarely is- this shows you are part of the herd and can’t think for yourself.

Still looking for your opinion on mixing Maker's Mark with ginger ale. Well, it is quite simple. If I drink Maker's Mark straight up, I will get kicked out of Treasure Island and they won't let me play Pai Gow there. The ginger ale brings out the mellowness of Maker's. It allows for massive consumption. Don't worry. I share your concern and am weening myself of the ginger ale part.

Why don't you, while drinking, shovel your neighbor's driveway?
They have no driveway to shovel. I did shovel the sidewalk though. Didn’t feel the need to mention that. Just knowing I did it was good enough. Kind of like shoveling a friend’s driveway last year while they were in the Bahamas or Mexico or someplace warm watching the Super Bowl on a beach. I am not looking to be noticed, just a guy doing a good deed.

2 comments:

James Wigderson said...

So, like, when is it ever appropriate to drink the following: Gin, gin and tonic, vodka, vodka and tonic, scotch, and that Wisconsin favorite Brandy?

All Things Dave said...

Priceless!

You da man!

I will pose more questions to you. I figure your advice is for the good of the nation.

In the meantime, I need to buy a flask! Me no have one!