Friday, April 15, 2005

From the land of sky blue waters...

I was down the stairs (had climbed at least 296 that day)and out the door at 4. Happy hour was one. Wasn't quite sure how many people beside me and Gambino but I didn't care. I wanted a beer. No, I needed a beer.

The bar of choice this time around was Scotty's. I don't live too far from this tavern. I hadn't ever been inside. Basically, from what I knew of it, the place is a old farts bar. A place where the beer is cheap and everyone knows everyone. And they all have their own places at the bar. Heaven forbid you sit in Louie's seat and don't give it up to him when he shows up. The bar has old memorabilia around the top shelves as well. Old stamp machines (ooh bargain 4 nickel stamps for a quarter), scale Harleys (1:18), a dashboard out of a car, a parking meter. Just old stuff.

I got there around 4:25. I walked into a small bar area that was crowded with old men sitting at the bar drinking their Pabst. There was a smattering of some younger people (40s) but mainly retired guys. I walked up to the bar and ordered a tap of Lite. Older lady puts the glass down and asks for 50 cents. 50 cents??? Holy shit! I give a buck and get change back. I am flabbergasted. I take my beer to a table by the window so I can see if anyone shows up. When I sit down I see the banner that shows happy hour prices basically for every work shift. Good to know if I want 50 cent tappers I can get them at 6 in the morning (maybe I should stop in before work). Don't like tap beer? Bottle of domestics for just a buck. Rails a buck. Call for a buck and a quarter.

I drink 4 beers in a half hour (10oz glasses) and am just lovin the happy hour. I call Gambino and tell her to hurry to get in on some of this sweet drinking action. She shows up with the hubby, Ken, at 5:10ish. No happy hour prices for her! But the bottles are only $2.25. Taps went all the way to a buck! Oh no, time to pull out the credit card.

So we are sitting there, just shooting the shit when Ken makes a comment about seeing some Hamms in the glass cooler. I then heard the calling:

From the Land of Sky Blue Waters (Waters),
From the land of pines, lofty balsam,
Comes the beer refreshing,
Hamm's the Beer Refreshing
I knew what I had to drink now. How could I not have the Beer Refreshing? I tell you, that Hamms wasn't bad. And guess how much a can of Hamms was? Go on. Guess.
Yes, one whole dollar. I felt like I was ripping them off. By this time, Ruthie had taken over behind the bar. Ruthie has to be in her 70s I figure. Just about bald, with some hair struggling to stay on her scalp. She was a spitfire. This old lady was totally cool. She wasn't going to take shit from no one and you knew it. Hell, I think if anyone in the bar gave her shit, the patrons would kill that person. But Ruthie was hilarious. Any bartender who serves and beer and cackles about how she would rather be on the other side of the bar gets points in my book.
One of the funnier things I heard was when the bricklayer on my left, out of the blue, challenges Ruthie to an arm wrestling match. The look she gave him was priceless. I just about knocked my beer over when I heard that (apparently Ruthie knows his parents). That comment was beat by the "Are you playing with your nose hairs?" that came at the other end of the bar. WTF? Nose hair man was trashed so who knows.
Had some more Hamms and pizza before calling it a night. The pizza was good. Not great, but good for a bar. Also had deep fried nachos. That was interesting.
I guess the bottom line is if you want cheap beer and don't mind sitting around old men, Scottys is a good place to stop in. Say hi to Ruthie. She alone is worth drinking a couple Hamms with.

Well, I didn't win the blog of the week at MKE but that's ok. I got an honorable mention though. They liked my campaign speech. That counts for something. However, no keg in every kitchen. Sorry people. You will rue the day you didn't vote me this blog. Last time I try to buy the city a drink.


James Wigderson said...

this being Milwaukee, I even stuffed the ballot box. Mannnn. You wuz robbed. Who's running that contest. Lisa Artison?

Aleta said...

No use crying over our spilled (or lost)beer...Get back up on the band wagon and we'll try to vote more next time.
did you guys get me a piece of pizza??