Thursday, December 22, 2005

Wishful thinking

I took a bite into the piece of fudge and my Spidey sense began to tingle. Was that whisky I was tasting? No. Damn. That would have been nice. So would some rum balls right about now. Update: Two other people think there was some whisky in the fudge as well.

Just like the Blonde, I have been stuffing my piehole with all kinds of treats this week. And it ain't over yet. I have a package coming in from the boss which promises to be more cookies. What am I going to do? Well, there is only one thing to do so as to not hurt anyone's feelings.

Eat the cookies and wash it down with beer. Try it, you'll like it.

Which leads me to a thought I believe Al would concur with. I ate some biscotti this morning that was quite good. The bottom was covered with chocolate. As I dipped it into some coffee, I couldn't help but think you you poured some Southern Comfort over the biscotti that it would taste really damn good.

Not even 8 in the morning and I have had 3 visions of boozing it up. I blame my assistant. She brought in a gift for me this morning. Beer. How nice. But it put me in a bind. I have gotten her a bottle of wine and will be bringing it in tomorrow. But now she has put me into a Kostanza. When I give her the gift tomorrow, it will look like the only reason I gave her a gift was because she gave me a gift. Why couldn't she wait until tomorrow like everyone else? I know she is in because I verified that with her yesterday. Damn! What would George do to get out of this situation?

I was at the store yesterday and did not finish the Christmas shopping. Stared at the gift cards for 5 minutes. Stared at ham for 4. In the end I bought neither. I guess I should take Gambino up on her offer. My sis may like that. Still at a loss for mom. She is very hard to shop for. I wish I could explain why but that won't happen here. Man, that ham is sounding like a better idea.

Am I the only one working tomorrow? There will be 3 of us in our wing here. It will be one long boring day. I can tell already. If only I could bust into the beer by my feet.

In the meantime, go listen to the Dan Band again. And have a very merry mother fucking Christmas!!!

7 comments:

Livia said...

No I have to work tomorrow as well. I keep telling my boss we need to replace the water cooler with a vodka cooler... and he laughs like I'm kidding.

I think you should hand her the bottle of wine, with the receipt saying... I bought this for you last week, it's not just because you gave me something yesterday. And walk away.

Then take a nap under your desk. Constanza style!

Blonde said...

Seriously, my entire meal plan daily consists of coffee, diet coke, water, sugar cookies and chocolate covered pretzels. Then some jerk off brought me a gift basket full of all of my favorite bad things today. My tummy is happy, but my ass is mad because he is now huge.

We had a luncheon for our employees today, and we served alcohol. Everyone was so happy. I suggested that we put a mini bar in the office, and my partners agree. We just might do it...

Hey Jo said...

I have to work tomorrow as well...will we see you out for some holiday cheer tomorrow nite?? Julie the cruise director sent out the email today.

djw said...

Last time we were at that bar (I found out later) they were watering down the beer. But I will try to make it Friday.

StB said...

Livia, I soooo know what you mean. A couple of years back when I worked security, I wanted to dump a water cooler and fill it with vodka just to see their reaction. They would have thanked me for that one.

Blonde, if I could get a mini-bar put into my area, I would be all for it. Now you are making me jealous.

Blonde said...

We always have wine and stuff in the office all year round anyway. We ususally crack it open on Fridays.

You shoudl come work for me. You can be my SEXcretary or my ASSistant. Bobby Bracelet is also applying for those jobs. You better act quickly ;). Only joking.

Happy Holidays

StB said...

Joking?!?!?!?

And I just updated my resume!!!