Friday, November 17, 2006

Liquor in the front...

A liquor store can be a fascinating place to me. All those bottles on the shelves holding their liquory goodness. To me it is like being a kid in a candy store.


As a kid, you stare wide-eyed at all the sweets around you. You wander around in amazement trying to decide what you want. It can be a tough decision. Chocolate? Candy bar? Licorice? Something from the vast gummy family? Gum?

One thing as a kid you don't do, however, is try the foreign candy. There would be that one area that had the imported stuff from other countries, with names you couldn't pronounce. You had little clue what might be in that wrapper and you surely did not want to waste you money on something that you might be spitting out seconds after putting it in your mouth. Stories of the kid who threw away his money on the Norwegian candy that ended up being a chocolate covered fish head linger in your brain. No, you will stay in your comfort area. A safe Snickers bar is better than the coconut grasshoppers from Zimbabwe.

I found myself trying to avoid those coconut grasshoppers yesterday. I was in the one part of the candy liquor store yesterday that I am not comfortable in. The wine section. Give me whisky, gin, rum, even tequila. I can dominate a beer section like nobody's business. Like Sherman through Georgia, I can roll through through foo foo shots in a bottle concoctions. But when it comes to the vino, I might as well be playing Keno in Reno with Gambino.

Those grape juices confuse me. I can't tell you the difference between a Sauvignon Blanc or a Pinot Grigio. Hell, I don't even know if I spelled/named those correctly. You can put just about any wine in front of me and I will drink it if it tastes good to me.

I found myself standing there last night, lost in the wine section of the liquor store. I had to buy a housewarming gift. A friend had given me some ideas on what to get. She had also suggest a s a whole pineapple. The pineapple is a sing of "hospitality". Well, as I stood there looking at the different bottles, that damn pineapple was sounding like a much better idea by the minute.

I looked at the cheat sheet I had drawn up. She had suggested some Monkey Bay, Jacob's Creek, Mondavi, or Coppola., no, no, no. None of that here.

Great! Now what do I do.

Being a guy, I fell back to something I could understand. Or understand a tad bit. I figured I would choose a wine like I would choose a horse at the track. Go with the name that sounds the best. The first one I saw was Smoking Loon. Well, the gift was for a girl who was known to toke up in the past. That seems fitting. The next bottle that caught my eye was the Menage a Trois. Hmm...suggestive...but it was just red, white, rose. That doesn't sound as good as Pinot Noir. After a couple of minutes, I just grabbed the loon and left. Much easier to just grab a bottle of Maker's Mark.

The Human Head has posted a video of someone getting tasered at a UCLA library. I respectfully disagree with his position. Why he is invoking the Patriot Act is ridiculous. It has nothing to do with the Patriot Act. If the student would simply have showed his ID- as required by the library's policies to protect students at late hours- he wouldn't have been bothered. Instead the guy resists and refuses to leave when repeatedly asked. They may have tasered him too many times, but hey, if he would have left, it wouldn't have happened. But that is what you get from rent-a-cops. They should have slammed his sorry ass to the ground, cuffed him, and hauled him out. Incident over.

I am hoping for a wind storm this weekend. That way I don't have to rake the leaves that have piled up in front of my garage. It looks like it may rain. Hey, possibly no raking for me this weekend. Then I can enjoy the opening weekend of wives cheating on their husbands deer season.

Have a good one and Rock on With Your Bad Selfs!

Quick add: The total number of barks by the co-worker yesterday was 3! Just 3! Apparently she took some happy pills when she got home yesterday.
Running for the shelter of a mother's little helper...

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