Where am I?

It was 6:30 am. I was slinking out of the house, trying my best to be as quiet as possible. Roughly 15 minutes earlier, I had woken up wondering where the hell I was. It is a weird feeling. Opening your eyes, looking about and not recognizing the surroundings.

Then the brain kicks in. Then you remember what went down the night before. You sit up and feel the slight pounding in the brain.

The next instinct for me is to get out and get home.

It is like the walk of shame. Or the drive of shame. I noticed how nice my hair looked in the mirror as I took one last piss before hitting the road. Wow, I looked like shit. Or maybe it was my contacts. They are meant to be in overnight. I would have to keep rubbing my eyes on the drive home just so I could see.

The drive was easy. About 20 minutes on the freeway. There are not many cars on the road that early on a Saturday. That is good thing.

Once I got home, I took those pesky lenses out of my eyes, dropped all the clothing that I had just spent the last 24 hours in off of my body and crawled into bed.

I slept for just 4 more hours. When I saw it was 11, I dragged my butt out of bed to make some coffee. I was a bit shocked to see the Badger game was on. I thought it was a 2:30 game? Fuck!

As I got into the real world, enjoying the football game, I began to think about what I was doing today. The plan was to rake leaves, then go drink during the Badger game. Well, that was out. But I did decide to follow through on the raking. I would get that done at halftime.

Let me tell you, raking leaves on a windy day is not the best thing to attempt. Sure it is fun when a gust comes up and the leaves get blown out into the street and go about a block away. But that bitch Mother Nature is going to fuck with you when you do that. She then shifts the wind to blow those damn leaves back. And they bring their leafy friends with them. You are now stuck with more leaves than before.

Plus, all the leaves that your neighbor puts in the street in front of your house so he has parking get blown up into your yard so there are even more leaves to rake. I should have buried his fucking car.

Yes, raking leaves with gusts of wind is not the best idea. Thus I did a half ass job and said screw this. I need more football and maybe a nap.

The nap didn't happen. The Badger won the football game and I laid around watching what was on the DVR. The cat was happy that he could just jump up and lay on me all day. My only decision was whether to take a shower and venture forth into the night.

Which I did.

Which was meaningless. No one was out. I drank a couple of beers and decided I would be better off taking it easy today. I grabbed a 6 pack from the liquor store and headed home. The beer of choice was Michelob Honey Lager. That may be the only Anheuser Busch product worth buying. I bought it because I didn't think they had made it any more. Good stuff.

Maybe I will go play some poker. After I return a phone call.