Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Pillow terrorism

A funny thing happened on Sunday morning. As I sat there reading the newspaper and drinking my coffee, I found myself on the internet buying bed sheets and pillows. At 8 in the morning. Weird, huh?

I figured the new pillows were a must this time. I don't have a clue how old the current pillows are, but they have been around a while. Man does not go out buying pillows on a yearly basis. But when he hears about pillow terrorists, he does.

That is what I am calling them, the pillow industry. They are consumer terrorists. They have found a way to boost pillow sales like never before. Microscopic warfare in you will.

Over the last couple of months, I have heard a couple of separate news stories about what happens to your pillows over time. The combination of dead skin and sweat make it a luxurious condo for dust mites. There can be millions in there.

But here is the more disgusting part. They say that if your pillow is over 6 months old, that 10 to 25% of the weight of the pillow is dead mites and their poo. If over two years, that can be 2 pounds of poo!

Now at first, I wasn't concerned about these reports. That was until I heard the weight of the pillow argument. Then I was a tad grossed out. So I have some new pillows coming. Then I will totally forget about these mites for years.

Oh and for full disclosure. The buying of stock in a pillow and mattress company is TOTALLY coincidental to buying new pillows.

Just kidding. I don't own any pillow stock. No, I am just beginning to wage my war against these pillow terrorists.

The cold snap has unsnapped? Not sure what the correct terminology would be. I don't think you can say it has broken because it was a cold snap to begin with and thus had to already been snapped. And to say it is over just sounds boring. Maybe snap back would work.

So the kids were off of school the last two days in Milwaukee. Because it was too cold. We don't want little Johnny and Mary to be cold waiting for the bus to come. That couple of minutes in the cold, cold air could cause death and we don't want anything to happen to our precious children.

What a crock!

So simple. All the parents need to do is watch for the frickin' bus. Then send Johnny and Mary out. Time in cold? The amount of time to get to the bus. No one dies in that scenario. If the bus driver is an a-hole and leaves, then drive the kids to school! If that is not an option get them a taxi let them stay home.

I don't recall them closing schools because of the cold when I was younger. I either had to walk a block and a half to the elementary school or a mile to middle/high school. Look at me. I turned out OK. ???

Kids are babied too much today. What are they going to do next, give every kid a ribbon for staying out the cold? Kids need more competition today to get ahead. We need to end "participation award" (I swear I would slap some coach if my kid received one of those bullshit trophies) and develop the needed skills to get somewhere in life.

Let them stay home because of the cold? Wusses.

And thanks DJW for the comment. Now that I have seen the perils of having a wisdom tooth removed, I am so looking forward to it. Yeah, thanks a lot! Guess I will be buying 2 bottles of Makers Mark tonight.

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