Thursday, March 29, 2007

The cure for the common cold

Countin on a remedy I've counted on before,
Goin with the cure that never fails me.

People, I implore you, if you want to get rid of your cold, you follow these simple steps. It works every time.
  1. Do two shots of booze before you go to sleep once the symptoms occur
  2. Very first thing you do when you wake up the next morning, do one shot
  3. Do two shots that evening before going to sleep
  4. One shot on the second morning.

Your cold will be gone. You will sleep better and feel better. You just can't use any wimpy booze. The liquor needs to be at least 80 proof, but the higher the better. Peach schnapps is not going to cut it. But Dr. McGillicuddy will.

Hell, I should head up national health care for the country. A bottle in every house would be my battle cry. I would stomp out all the diseases except for herpes or syphilis which I would give to my enemies.

Makes you want to be on my good side, doesn't it?

I felt so much better this morning. The shots last night went down easy as did the one at 5:41 this morn. Congestion that had been there 12 hours earlier was gone. Cough is disappearing. Just in time for the weekend. Of course, I plan for some "preventive medicine" this weekend.

I had planned to rant on about some shareholder proposals in the Altria (parent company of Phillip Morris, the world's largest tobacco producer) proxy but didn't want to bore anyone. I found it quite amusing how one person suggest they get out of the business by 2010 (yes, leave a multi billion dollar market) or how another basically wanted the company to do the parenting and prevent kids from smoking (yeah, I could go on and on again about how kids begin to smoke because their friends do, or to piss off their parents, or just to be cool, and how it isn't because of a cartoon camel) or how the should be educating children about their legal rights and second hand smoke.

Yes, I am not kidding about that one. Someone thinks they should be informing kids that they have the legal right to prevent their parents from smoking around them. Check out this Google search. It gives all kinds of nice issue from no smoking sites, child abuse, custody, etc. All because some 13 year old kid took his mother to court to prevent her from smoking when he was visiting her.

When I came across this case, I was stunned. Not that the court ruled in favor of the kid. No, the fact that the kid took his mother to court. If I had tried something like that, I would have gotten cuffed upside the head so fast it would still be spinning. I then thought, wow, this kid is going to grow up to be a total pussy. He thinks he is going to get his way all the time and if he doesn't, will file a lawsuit. I hope someone at school gave him a good ass kicking because you know he made life miserable for some kids.

Next two days of work will be cake. Boss is out and with it being end of the month, I have it easy. Still looking for help on zipping music files. Let me know if you can lend a hand.

No comments: