Tuesday, July 31, 2007

It's the plumber, I come to fix the sink

I really should get myself some new tenants. They are good people and all, but they pay the rent late and don't seem to have much common sense. This is sure to lead to aggravation on my end.

I came home last night to find a nice letter scrunched under my door. It said the kitchen sink was backed up. Oh great! I stared at the note in disbelief. I had this replaced in February. The main drain off the kitchen had a leak (one that leaked right into my closet below) and he replaced a whole stretch of pipe. How can something get clogged inside of 5 months? That was one of the first questions I asked when they called me back. What are you putting down that drain? I got the standard "nothing, just water" reply. But I held firm. I told them they must be putting something else down there and they need to stop.

So I went upstairs to take a look when they got home. I took the trap off and let the water drain out. Took a snake and slid it into the hole. Hmm...that sounds dirty. That is why I need to have new tenants. Younger girls. Swimsuit models. Strippers even. I could go up there and put my snake in the hole. Make it the penalty for not paying the rent on time. Heh heh.

Ok, back to the story. I have the snake in the drain and I keep sliding it in until it stops. From past experience, I am sure there is a bend that I just can't get this thing around. But just in case I am up against a blockage, I begin to crank the snake. I keep pushing forward to keep the pressure and give it some time. I pull the snake out to see if I had snagged anything on the end. Sure enough, I did.


I managed to catch some wax beans. Slid the snake in again and pushed and cranked some more. Got another bean and that was it. I am sure that I didn't necessarily break up the clog that might be down there, but also sure that I am running into a spot I can't slide the snake beyond.

I put the trap back on and run some water. Yep, it fills up. Pretty much what I expected, but I have a plan. The water backs up but goes down rather slowly. I may have done some good with that snake afterall. So I grab the plunger and decide we will give this a shot. I have the tenant plunge on one side while I do my best to plug the other. He gave me the "I tried that and it doesn't work. It just goes up the other end" moron spiel. Of course it doesn't work on a double sink. You need to create pressure that forces the water down the pipes, not to the place of least resistance, the other sink.

I grab a dish towel and push down, trying to create a seal. I fill the other side up with just enough water and have him plunge away. I now realize he has no clue on what he is doing. Water is spraying up and onto both of us. Again, if I had a stripper for a tenant, this would be a very good thing. I grab the plunger from him and repeat the process. I have to tell him to press down hard on the other side as I cover the hole and work up a good seal.

After 20 seconds of quick pushing, I let it pop up. What water was there is gone. I run the water for 30 more second and nothing happens. Wait a bit (I don't know why) and do it again and it drains fine.

I then give him the speech of not putting food down the drain and to use the mutha uckin' (slight Flight of the Chonchords reference there) strainer as well. I even see bits of spaghetti in the mutha uckin' sink. Oh, but we don't put food down there. Yeah, uh huh.

I expect to get a call in a week or so saying that it is clogged again. I will probably snake it again and pull out a ham. But for now, I can bellow like Johnny Drama...VICTORY!!!!

Blonde asked what was in the summer hand job shot. I wish I new for sure. I know there was Cherry Dr. Mcgillicuddys and lemonade (pretty sure it was not o.j.), and something else. Probably Vanillacuddys. Guess I will have to go in and ask for another hand job. Unless Scott is working. That might get me punched in the face.

I am trying to decide on when I might go to State Fair this year. I can't help but wonder if the Wisconsin State Fair is like other state fairs around the country. I think of the State Fair as Summerfest but with sheep. You pretty much have to walk by some livestock building, avoiding the land mines left behind by horses and cows, to get to the 20 some stages of music. See, pretty much anyplace that serves food and beer has a stage with some kind of music. It is pretty much cover bands, but you have a pretty good selection to choose from. Oh, you also have the grandstand acts, but those suck this year.

Oh and the beer is like a shopper's paradise. Unlike other places, they don't have a set price for the grounds. Anyone selling beer can set their own prices. Some places even have Happy Hours!

Thinking of doing something different for my birthday this year. It is the end of September. I might just have to get away for it.

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