Wednesday, August 22, 2007

OMG! He's drinking a battery!!!

There is one given in today's world. If I am reading the local paper or the Wall Street Journal and I come across an interesting story dealing with booze, I will read it and probably look for stories like it. Like this one in today's WSJ:

Energy Drinks Under Fire

No surprise there. A number of doctors are raising concerns about people guzzling Red Bull or Rockstar and getting very sick. But in this case, the article is going after the energy drinks that contain alcohol.

My favorite line from the article is this one:
Mr. Blumenthal said some ads contain misleading health-related claims regarding
the products' effects. For example, he said, Sparks and Sparks Plus advertises
canned drinks and the cases in which they are packaged to look like batteries,
implying they are energy drinks. The slogan is "Powered by Sparks," he said.

So the battery look is bad for your health??? Since when does a battery look like an energy drink? Or when have you seen someone prying the top off of and then drinking a battery???

So where is the health claim? I don't know of any energy drink that claims to be healthy en mass quantity.

The claim that "Beverage companies are unconscionably appealing to young drinkers with claims about the stimulating properties of alcoholic energy drinks." is funny too. Think about it. Say some kid does see an ad for Sparks and isn't bright enough to read the ad and the part about it containing alcohol. So he goes to the store and doesn't see it on the shelf next to the other energy drinks. If he hasn't figure it out by now, he may ask someone if they have it. He is then told it is sold in the liquor store. Apparently this kid is a real idiot and tries to buy some still and gets denied. Seriously, even if the kid is a total moron, he won't be able to buy the fricken' can of Sparks.

These lawyers need to stop stretching every little problem out into something big. You cannot stop college kids from downing Red Bull and Jager. Afterall, that is all Sparks truly is. A crap shooter in a can.

The lawyers should be more concerned on the social affects of Sparks. From what I can tell, drink Sparks and you end up gay. At least if you are Minnesota Twinkies fan.

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