Screwed in my own fantasy

I poured the Makers and ginger in a pint glass. I was ready to hunker down for the fantasy football draft. The Makers would relax and help cool me off. The room was on the warm side and having just cut the grass, I was already sweating like a pig.

As I waited for my pick (#5), I started checking other blogs out. I come back 4 minutes later to see I had taken Shaun Alexander. WTF??? Crap! Apparently the people in front of me took their players right away and I was timed out, thus taking the top ranked guy as my pick.

Alexander ain't bad, but I think I would rather had Gore at that spot. At the very least, I would have like to have made the choice, not had it made for me. Not a good start to this draft.

Oh, it would get worse. I made my second pick and was ready to make my third when I noticed the site appeared to freeze up on me. Fuckin' great! I play around and then notice it is not the site, but I lost my Internet connection. Muther Ucker!!!

I try unplugging the modem and letting it reset. That doesn't work. Try again. Nothing. Reboot. Nothing. I call my friend to let him know what is happening and to pick certain people for me. He basically says no and that I am fucked. Great! All those years of kicking his ass in this league and that is how he wants to beat me? Asshole!

So I get on the phone with the cable company. I am hoping my cell phone doesn't cut out on me. I dial the number and start pressing buttons. No I don't want any pay per view. I don't want to add home phone service. I don't want any other subscription services and I don't want to speak Spanish.

I finally navigate my way to the Internet spot and promptly get...voice recognition. Oh, this should be great. Some preprogrammed responses to fix my connection. I start answering yes and no to the prompts. I was actually impressed that it went as smooth as it did. Especially with me laughing so much. Every time I gave a positive answer, it gave me one.

"Is your computer on?"
"Yes"
"That's good! Now check your modem, is the power light on?"
"Yes"
"Great. Now unplug the modem and replug the power switch. Say continue when you are ready"
"Continue"
"Good! Are the green lights on the front of the modem on?"
"Yes"
"Great! Now check.."

I hung up at that point because I noticed it was working again. It is good to see that one can get good customer service from the cable company's computer.

When I get back to my draft I see I have drafted Tom Brady, TJ Whosyourmama, and Torry Holt. Again, not bad, but not the players I would have taken. To make it worse, my "friend" scoops up Tony Romo on me. Fuckwad!

In the end, my team is ok. It is a small league with a bunch of knuckleheads so I can make up for this in free agency, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Even with the 4 pints of Makers and ginger I downed.