Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Orville Redenbacher, we have a problem

Ah, the first day back at work after some time off. Spend over an hour going through emails as the software doing the virus scan makes your pc as slow as molasses. Catching up on the work not done by your colleagues in your absence. And feeling your body begin to crash as the caffeine in your system finds its way out.

I missed work. How about you?

The good/bad part is it is a 4 day work week. It feels like Tuesday but it is Wednesday. Before you know it the weekend will be here but that will just make next week, a regular 5 day week feel like pure Hell.

But I will be up in Minneapolis for half the week so it will feel kinda like a vacation. Until I get into the training classes and begin to bang my head into the wall, wondering why I have to be put through such a painful lesson. I figure one of the first questions after "Please tell us your name and what division and city you work in" will be something stupid like "What do you expect to get out of this?" Thus, I am already working on my response. Given a week, I can deliver an Academy award winning answer. Right now I am leaning towards "Hey, I had some real work to do and they decided it would be good to take this class. And I can get drunk at the company's expense."

After watching the Brewers' bullpen give another game away on Monday, I have decided I will not attend another Brewers day game this year. Seriously. I will attend night games but not day games. The bullpen has blown the lead in the last 3 I have been at. They have had 6, 5 and 3 run leads in each one, just to lose. Granted there are only 2 day games at home left but I vow not to go to either of them. No matter who calls and says they have free tickets. Hell, they should be back in first place today.

Anyone else see this article in their paper today? Doctor warns consumers of popcorn fumes. Apparently the chemical in the butter flavor can put out some toxic fumes and has been giving the factory workers at the popcorn plants some health issues (they call it "popcorn lung") but now they have a patient who may have lung cancer because of the several bags of popcorn consumed every day for several years.

Yes, I will repeat that with the actual quote:
a man whom she wouldn't identify, consumed "several bags of extra butter
flavored microwave popcorn" every day for several years.

Several bags every day. That is a lot of friggin' popcorn! Did this guy eat anything else??? Think about it. Several bags every day. Not a couple (2). Not a few (3). Not some (4). But several meaning at least 5 bags of friggin' popcorn.

That is insane! Could it possibly be that the guy's popcorn diet had an effect on his health issues? I doubt he was eating a healthy breakfast, lunch, and dinner while stuffing his piehole with popcorn.

I wonder if he has empty popcorn bags around his house as well. Old kernels in the cushions of the couch. You know there are popcorn hulls in the the guy's bed. It probably looked like he blew old man Orville himself in the place.

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