Sunday, October 14, 2007

Hair metal, paint and that fucking squirrel

Well, I did it. Got the paint slapped up on the walls. Well, mostly. I still need to do the trim. But I must say it looks good. A bit darker than I had planned but I like it. I now understand why I had those swatches to look at. Too bad the cleaning lady threw them out.

There I was at the Home Depot, staring at all these colors and trying to place how it would look compared to the carpet and the woodwork. The walls were basically a tan color at this time and I was looking at a slightly darker hue. But I didn't know exactly how dark. So I am looking at all the colors and about to make a decision when I notice the name. Almond Toast.

Almond Toast paint. WTF????

I looked at the other names of the colors. Peanut Butter. Hazlenut Cream. Coconut Husk. Lemon Pepper. Pecan Sandie. Ok, I can't have my living room the color of something I could eat. That ain't going to work.

Then I noticed I could go with an animal. Brown Rabbit. Squirrel. Lion. Dolphin Fin. Yep, all of these are colors.

What ever happened to paint colors that have paint names? I want sandstone, desert, harvest brown, almond. Paint colors. That isn't too much to ask for. Can I just find a color that doesn't have a gay name like breakfast blend? Seriously, I ain't going to drink it, but put it on the walls.

I ended up choosing New Chestnut. Ok, it could be considered a food named color but it is also a wood so that takes the gayness out. Pulled furniture to the middle of the room and put the TV onto Arena Rock. I was good to go.



As I start painting, I can't help but notice I seem to be getting paint all over me. I had a drop cloth down so the carpet wasn't getting messed up but I was. Worst part was having paint on my hand. Every time I touched something, I left a palm print and had to wipe it off. Hours later I would notice paint on my nails or arm even though I took a shower and gave myself a good scrubbing. I did achieve my goal. To get the vast majority of painting done so I could go drink beer.

That turned out to be somewhat bad. Went up to Big Mommas to watch the Badger football game. That turned out to be a total abortion as they got their ass handed to them (BTW, nice comment Terri. I still love ya though). As the game went down the toilet, the bartender decided to create a new shot and we were the guinea pigs. I don't know why but someone mentioned the line from the Blues Brothers where John Candy ordered 3 orange whips. Suddenly we had to make one up so the experiment was on. It should be noted that Bacardi Orange works out better than Absolut Mandarin. Toss in some OJ and Baileys and it wasn't too bad.

About the only funny thing noted during the game was a Jeep commercial with a singing squirrel. This one:


So we are laughing our asses off every time the squirrel comes on singing. The game doesn't matter anymore and we are looking for anything to amuse ourselves. Thus when Ron yelled out "Hey look, its the fucking squirrel!" I just about hit the floor. Some things are too funny and to me, that line was. I kept hoping they would play the commercial again but they didn't. Hopefully today during the games they will.

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