Ho Fuggin' Ho!

It is crunch time already. I have 2 1/2 days to be finished with the majority of my Christmas shopping. Yeah, Christmas shopping! Screw all those a-holes that want to call it holiday shopping or holiday trees and all that other bullshit. Say Happy Hannukah or Good Kwanza or whatever you want. Just don't try and lump it all together and be all fuggin' pc about it.

Bastards.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, finishing up shopping. Family thing is on Saturday. I usually don't start my shopping until the 16th. I got a good chunk done. But I feel I need to get some other stuff still. Not sure why as I have already spent a bundle of cash. But it isn't the money right? Aw bullshit, of course it is the money. I will spend at least 2 to 3 times more than I will get back. Unless they are buying me bottles of Maker's Mark and the Maker's Mark bourbon chocolates, I see myself on the losing end here.

Maybe I wouldn't feel a tad grinchy if I didn't have to actually go to the store now. Too late to do it all online. Now I am forced to go to an actual building and grab a cart. All for things that my nieces may or may not appreciate. All for a headache on a Saturday night where I cannot get shitfaced because I have a 40 minute drive home. But it will soon be over. I will head out to a store tonight en route to the bar. Whether I decide to say fuck it and buy the rest of the stuff there or actually go to a different store on Friday remains to be seen.

I think I may just get my brother a canned ham. Or the ugliest sweater I can find. I think he might prefer the ham.

I was doing some gift wrapping last night. Partly to get it done and partly to make sure I would have enough wrapping paper. Amazing how they get and arm and a leg before Christmas but you can practically get it for free afterwards. Bastards!

I may be the worst gift wrapper in the world. Give me a box. Give me the paper. Wrap paper around box. Cut paper. Fold. Fold. Crease. Fold over. Trim off excess paper? Oh hell no! Get more table to hunker it down! You might think my presents were wrapped at the school of the blind with how bad they look. Last year, I had a friend do it for me. The first thing my sister asked was who wrapped them.

So, a couple more things to buy, a couple more things to wrap, and I am set.

Who wants to get blitzened on Christmas Eve with me?

I wonder if I could get away with giving my entire family McDonald's gift cards?