Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ice Pick

I envy Helen Keller right now.

No really I do. She could be sitting at my desk right now and be perfectly happy not being able to hear these two women yap and complain about their lives. If it isn't bitching about the inlaws or having to drive people around, it is the meetings that someone has to go to or fuckin' American Idol. Anyone that seriously analyzes what is happening on AI is seriously retarded. See, this has gone on for the last 40 minutes. Someone please, jam an ice pick into my ear! I am begging you!

I just about lost it. After 30 minutes of this torture I was about to tell them both to just shut the hell up! Maybe they don't realize how loud they are talking. I sit right by them but they talk like they are 10 feet apart. I should have said something. When the Idol talk started and they criticized the judges because "they don't know what they are doing", I should have told them both to stop having the most moronic conversation in the world. You are a computer geek whose family makes you miserable. You are a bad administrative assistant that wastes an hour a day complaining to others. In 20 minutes you will take a 25 minute "break" to go complain to a new group of women about the same shit you just complained about. Some day you two will realize that you are giving fake support to each other. Someone needs to be frank with the two of you and tell you to suck it up and go whine with each other somewhere I can't hear the two of you.

Good thing I don't have any meetings scheduled for the day. Looks like I have a short fuse.

I think it is the trivia thing. Drinking on Wednesdays makes Thursdays feel like Fridays. When the realization hits, it throws me off. Mentally I am thinking the weekend starts at 3:30 today when it isn't until tomorrow. Bummer.

Time to work. One last question...what is the proper way to excuse yourself during a conference call when the burrito you had at lunch is leading a charge through your stomach and decides it wants out. Now!!??? Can one say "Excuse me but I need to drop off for a couple of minutes before I shit my pants."


BG said...

I have a bluetooth headset for my desk phone, and sit within 30 feet of the bathroom. It's easy for me, then, to mute myself and go take a leak while still listening to the call.

I'm sure there'd be plenty of my associates who'd be mortified to learn that...

StB said...

I have one as well (best upgrade to the office phone EVER), and I admit it, I have been on a call holding a conversation while standing in front of a urinal. But I can't think of talking while on the throne. I would probably be answering a question just as the guy in the next stall flushes.

Blonde said...

I have a no AI rule in the office. Period. I don't know anything about the show and I don't want to hear about it. If they want to chat about it they have to use IM.

I would have shit my pants in the meeting. That would get any talk to stop

Uncle Bracelet said...

"Excuse me. I have to go negotiate the release of some chocolate hostages."