Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Gentile Summit wrapup

I have gotten pretty shitty about giving timely reports on my escapades. Things get busy and I either get around to it days later after I have forgotten the good stuff or I give a half ass effort and steal material from others. How about a bit of both?

Drizz and Chad (the 10 year old boy with an STD in his ear) came down from Minnesota to attend the Gentile Summit. They (read Drizz) wanted to stop at Potowatami when they got into town. I decided to meet them down there around midnight. I couldn't help but notice the crowd. At one point I swear a pimp and his two hos passed us. I mentioned to the boys that maybe all casinos- even ones in Milwaukee- have a hooker bar.

Just before our departure on Friday, I get a call from the Rooster. He missed his flight. He says it will cost him $700 bucks to get another ticket. Rooster don't sound happy. He does get on a plane but mentions he hasn't showered today. I feel sorry for the people who have to sit next to him. He may be my favorite Puerto Rican friend but I don't want to have to spend 2 hours on a plane next to a stinky PR.

On the way to FIB land, we stopped at the Brat Stop. I was tempted to steal one of the chalices of beer but decided it wasn't a good idea. Seriously, they served the beer in these big glass chalices. Same price as a pint the old busty bartender said. Later, I would spot a picture of the bartender trying to be sexy on a Harley. It didn't work.

Upon our arrival in FIB land, our host DP mentioned the bounty of beer he had available for the weekend. I was more interested in the home brew he has on tap, a steam ale and a wheat ale. Steam ale was nice, with a hoppy after taste. The wheat was full bodied with a hint of orange and coriander. Very good. I dove in to the other beers but kept coming back to the wheat.

I found dinner to be a bit disappointing. They raved about this place last year. Tango Sur. It falls into the category of an Argentinian steakhouse. Sadly, I found my steak to be under cooked. I would have sent it back but I probably wouldn't have seen my meal again. The steak itself was just ok. Good? I guess, but not great. Add in the crappy service and that explains my disappointment. I had to ask for a napkin 5 times. After that I gave up and had someone snag me one from the wait station. With slow wait time and ok food, I would not recommend this place to anyone.

On Saturday morning, DP decided to play piano. Before you knew it, he was pounding the keys and singing Debbie Gibson. WTF? It was funny the first time. So were the show tunes. I think I have added it up here. Lesbian bar, Debbie Gibson and show tunes. Oh, forgot Cubs fan. The wife and kids are a front. You can come out of the closet now DP.

There is only one story to rehash from the baseball game. As mentioned, I had on a Brewers shirt and hat. Many Cubs fans didn't say anything. I did have some good discussions with others about baseball in general. As I walked around I would hear some wiseass spout off. It is to be expected. However, I did not expect this. I had to go inside to use the facilities. As I came down off the bleachers and walked past them, I heard the chant start up "Brewers suck!". It appeared the girls in the front were chanting. Except for the one voice that started it all. It was a man's voice. It was the Rooster. That fucker started the chant and had a goofy ass grin on his face when I looked back. Yes, he is the straw that stirs the drink. Damn Puerto Rican!

As the ball game went into extra inning, me and Chad got smart- which isn't hard among Cubs fans- and decided to go to a bar to drink. Beer was cut off and we didn't care about the game. We cared about boozing. We enjoyed a couple Goose Island beers before the gang showed up. I think we won that round.

Hours later we were back at DP's house. The majority of the contingent decided to take a nap and went upstairs to do so. I stuck around playing cards and what not. Not sure why but we ended up in front of the TV watching intervention. This episode featured a pill popper who was practically living in her garage. This may be a new thing. Get drunk and watch Intervention. I recall us laughing our asses off at what we were seeing.

Later we would walk 5 miles to a bar. It seemed like Blackberry battles as we did. Chad and Maigrey would keep looking at Google maps to see where we were. I bet the map didn't show the best route as cutting through the park and down an alley way as the best route to the bar.

Joe Speaker took some time to talk about his weight loss plan and the before and after pics he has on his blog. He made one huge mistake when discussing the pics. He uttered a line that I could tell he wished he could have back. The look on his face said it all. He hoped no one heard it but of course it was like he spoke out of a mega horn. For his sake, I will not repeat the line. It was twittered to the masses just seconds later. I think I have found a partner in the attempt to take down the twitter society.

Bobby Bracelet just may have had the line of the weekend though. I will let him tell the story.

There was a guy riding a bicycle outside the bar we were at that appeared to have been hit by a car. We looked up and saw him on the ground, his bike a number of feet away from him, and a cab driving off. We put 9 and 62 together and decided he must have been hit. We felt bad.In fact, we found it hard to pull our attention off him. He had a couple guys hanging out with him, getting him water and probably trying to help wash the dirt out of his vagina.He sat there for a long time, holding his head in his hands.Eventually I was taking a leak in the bathroom, which is like a ninety minute process with all the unraveling of duct tape involved in keeping my ginormous junk at bay, and I heard a guy talking about the biker outside who had gotten pepper sprayed.I was stunned.Turns out he had been in some sort of argument with people in a car at the intersection when someone in the car pepper sprayed him. He then grabbed his bike blindly and tossed it at the car before it drove off.So FORTY FIVE MINUTES LATER when he was STILL SITTING ON THE SIDEWALK WITH HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS I decided I'd yell out the window of our cab that grabbed us. We get in and I roll down the window as we drive away and yell, "IT WAS JUST A LITTLE PEPPER SPRAY, GET OVER IT!" and as soon as the words have escaped my mouth the luck of the Bracelet kicks in.Our driver realizes he'd rather go the opposite direction and does a 4-point turn. He starts driving back towards the intersection with the biker and his friends. The light is fucking red.Now the friend is trying to wave us over so he can give us a piece of his mind and the light turns green. I've never been so glad to be on the way to a lesbian bar in my life.


See, just after Bobby said that, I thought it would be funny if we turned around and was about to say just that when the taxi did begin to spin the wheel. Watching the guy stand in the middle of the street, waving our cab over was funny. I just wish I could have seen the look on Bobby's face when the cab started to turn around.

1 comment:

Drizztdj said...

I saw his face, and it was the same shock as walking in on one's parents having sex for the first time.

Priceless.