Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Illegal popcorn eating & Germans

I didn’t need to hear this asshole from New York bitching at the bartender. After all, she was just doing her job, requiring everyone show an ID no matter what their age. But this jerkoff had to cause a scene and refuse to prove his age. So she took his drink away. This pissed him off even more and he went off on a rant about lawyers. My morning flight was canceled and now it was 9 hours later and I just wanted to get on a plane and get home but this dillweed had to be ass and piss off the bartender. Please, never piss off bartenders. It hurts us all.

I did have me a good time though. I usually do when I meet up and get reacquainted with friends from around the country. It leaves me with a sad feeling when the weekend is over but there are the memories that lift the melancholy and put a smile on my face.

As mentioned, I was supposed to leave Las Vegas at 10am on Monday. Because of the crappy weather in Vegas (40 degrees and raining), my flight was canceled. Thankfully I had called to check on its status and wasn’t trapped at the airport. But it meant I had to spend another day in a place that I had my fill of. Some of you may think it would be great to be stuck in Vegas for an extra day but after 4 days of drinking, gambling, drinking and little sleep, I had had enough. Vegas isn’t all the glitz and glamor you see on TV. After 4 days my lips were chapped, my skin and nasal passages all dried out, and my liver crying uncle. Pauly had documented the underbelly of this beast many times. Vegas leaves a feeling of being unclean on you that can only be washed by your shower at home. After 3 days I need to get out. 5 days is pushing my sanity.

Worst part is my boss wouldn’t let me have today off. I told him I wouldn’t get home until 1:30 this morning but his response was to come in later. There better be a good reason. I need some more sleep.

Plus the Germans had been pissing me off. Yes, I had an issue with the Germans being in Vegas. One time at the MGM, there were two of these guys holding a conversation in the men’s room, as they taking dumps. Between grunts and groans- literally, they were both making noises as they tried to shit- they would yammer on in German. It was disgusting. Later I would run into some more Germans at the IP. A guy was pawing all over his lady friend as they walked toward the elevators. At first they walked by the lifts but came back and got in the elevator I was in. They started talking a bit as we went up. She was saying something to him and he was getting this stupid smile on his face. I just know she was talking dirty to him. I wish I had taken German in high school now.

And I can’t forget the drunk guy at the Green Valley Ranch. Dude got blitzed during the Steel Panther show (more on that later) and had been escorted out by security. He was arguing with them as we waited for a cab. Apparently cabs don’t get out to GVR much and we waited a good 20 minutes. At least drunk dude kept saying stupid things and entertained us. He was unhappy that the security people wouldn’t leave until he got into a taxi. He kept telling them to go, that there was probably illegal popcorn eating going on somewhere and they should stop it. I just about lost it. Illegal popcorn eating??? Being the smartass I am, I couldn’t help but say to him “If there is something I had a lot it is illegal popcorn eating!” He didn’t get it. The other line that killed me was he complained about no cabs being around. The security guy told him 3 cabs were coming. He scoffed and said “That’s bullshit. I’ve seen Diehard so I know.” What Diehard and waiting for a cab have in common I do not know but it was hilarious.

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