I spent a good portion of my weekend watching the Showtime program Weeds. I think they are coming up on the 6th or 7th season but I had never watched a single episode. With the entire show available on demand thanks to cable TV, I figured I would catch up and see why people love this show.
It may grab you from the beginning with some quirky story lines but it captures you with the dialogue. Some of the lines in the show are laugh out loud. Seriously. Kevin Nealon’s character is hilarious. “Are you watching the Incredahos?” And anytime they are in Hailahs (sp?) kitchen, you know something funny is going to be said. White people love hearing the ghetto talk.
I mention Weeds because it was a factor in the crazy dream I had last night. It may be the longest dream I ever had. It started in a backyard, when to a park bench on the street, and ended up in a lake. Let’s talk the park bench part because that is what I recall the most. Plus the part about swimming in the lake looking for fish is boring.
For whatever reason, I am sleeping on a park bench located on a normal street. There is traffic going by all the time with an occasional streetcar. Across the street are two old men drinking in a bar that is not closed off by a wall. They are drinking their beers at table overlooking the street.
On the bench I have plenty of blankets on me like I am hiding from someone. I think I was depressed because my girlfriend had broken up with me. So I was under the blankets trying to keep the world out. After a couple days on the bench, people came up to see if I was still ok. I kept telling them to just leave me alone. They would and I would go back to sleep just to be woken up by a street car.
After the third day I sat up on my bench and had decided I was done being miserable. As I did , some guy who was standing by the street (maybe waiting for a street car?) came and sat down next to me. This guy was dressed in a suit with an overcoat. He carried a briefcase as well. When he sat down on the bench, I thought to myself that he was a little too close to me. I didn’t like that. Soon he was getting even closer to me and before I knew it, he had his head on my shoulder.
This freaked me out. I wanted this guy gone but didn’t know exactly what to do. Then I thought of something. I took my arm out and wrapped it around him like I was going to hug him. I figure I could fool him into thinking I was ok with this. When I did this I felt his body relax against mine.
That is when I applied the old sleeper hold. I pressed his neck against my forearm and began to choke him out. I kept squeezing until I felt his body go limp. I then squeezed a bit more to make sure he was done for. I then flung his lifeless body to the street. Shock then came over me as I wondered if I had killed him. I looked across to the bar to see if the old men had seen what I did. Scared I ran into the apartment building to change clothes so I could act like I wasn’t around when this happened.
Now, even though I am in the apartment building, I still am watching what is happening in the street. It is like a camera is perched on the park bench. The guy in the suit slowly wakes up wondering what happened to him. The old guys in the bar tell the fool to get out of the street before he gets hit by the street car.
After the guy has picked himself off the ground and left, I come out of the building and wonder where the heck he went. I am about to go talk to the old men in the bar when a truck pulls up beside me. It is some friends asking me if I wanted to go to the lake and fish.
I will be watching the last couple episodes of season 2 of Weeds tonight. Have to see what the DEA agent does now that he knows Snowflake doesn’t love him anymore.