Vegas fun

For once, an advertising slogan made sense. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Some stuff I would like to talk about but it won't be published here. Too many eyes could see it. Maybe a better slogan is What happens in Vegas is told to friends after a couple drinks at the bar.

Bottom line is a had a very good time even though it got started on a sour note. Flight was delayed an hour from Milwaukee. Once we landed, I couldn't find the limo driver. I tried to surprise my friends Anette and Ben with a stretch limo. We were kinda celebrating the wedding anniversary and I thought it would be nice to have them see a driver standing at the bottom of the escalator with their name on it. Problem was the driver spelt the name wrong. That bit. But not having to wait in the taxi line was a bonus and the ride was comfortable. It was better than having to cram ourselves into 1 taxi. That is if they would let us. Most cabs in Vegas allow for only 4 people so the cost of two taxis going downtown would have been more than the one limo.

I was a bit apprehensive about staying downtown. I am more of a Strip person. It had been a couple years since I had spent any considerate amount of time downtown. It was too old and kinda smelly. The only decent property was the Golden Nugget.

Things have changed since then. Sure some places still smell like a musty basement- I am looking at you Vegas Club- but others have cleaned up nicely.

Take Binions. It has changed itself from the casino catering to old cantankerous poker players and craps shooters to one that offers eye candy and stripper poles for the young guys and dirty old men. Heaving bosoms seems to be a prerequisite to get a job at Binions nowadays. It is like they followed the Hooters model except a little less classy.

Stripper poles seem to be a theme here in Vegas. Strippers have become more mainstream. Binions had not one but two poles in different parts of the casino. Sadly they appear to be for show only. The aforementioned Vegas Club had one is a section called the “Fetish Pit”. Really? The Fetish Pit? Is there a pervert special on Thursdays? Add in the Excalibur and the number of places with stripper/blackjack shows seems to be on the rise. The dealertainers at the IP are going to have to start showing some skin pretty damn soon just to keep up.

Other things downtown that appeared to be new include the two stages with music nightly. The theme of the 70s was all over Fremont Street with a hippy bus and a Partridge Family short bus. Around them were a bunch of bad street performers. It is like the characters impersonators of Hollywood left to come to Vegas to try a quick buck by having tourists take pictures with them. Prince, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Michael Jackson, Freddie Krueger, even Homey the Clown. All kinds of bit players amongst the Elvi- young, old, black, white, mascot, you name it- were are over the place. One guy all in black that I had no idea who he was supposed to be looked like he was tripping on acid at one point.

The Fremont Street Experience featured music from the 70s with random songs being played between salute to artists. Queen and Kiss were the two of note for me. There was also a Rolling Stone tribute band that was pretty good. Lead singer had the Jagger look and prancing down pat. If it hadn't been so warm out I would have grabbed a beer and caught more of their show. But I needed the AC badly.

Other touristy things done include taking the Deuce, the double decker bus, down the strip. It reminded me of riding a roller coaster. We were in the front and swore this driver was going to hit something. Plus it was wobbly up there. Once down on the Strip we took in the Price is Right show. None of us won anything. The closest we got was when they announce for the showcase. After the first name the guy paused. My heart jumped a bit as I thought he was trying to figure out how to pronounce my last name. But it wasn't to be. Funnier yet was running into the host and announcer at the Big Elvis show at Bill's Gambling Hall. They stopped and talked with us. The Price is Right is one show I would recommend to anyone who likes game shows and would like to take in one live. Believe me, it is more than a game show. It was more like part comedy, party game show. An enjoyable touristy thing.

And I must mention that young broad in the bus. This mouthy little thing annoyed the crap out of me. We tried to get back on the bus but there was a line. Apparently some people did not have a pass and were trying to pay cash. This slowed things down quite a bit. The driver told every with a pass to show it and hop in the back door. As we did I caught this little bitch yapping away on the phone, bitching up a storm about the “tourist who come to Vegas and get drunk and act like assholes”. For 10 minutes she bitched on about people coming to Vegas to get stinking drunk. She said she doesn't go to other people's towns to get drunk and act like an asshole. These dumb motherfuckers were delaying daddy's little angel from getting home/to work and she was crying. Hey bitch, maybe if you had a better job you could buy a car and not have to worry about the dumb motherfuckin' tourists delaying your bus ride. I hope you get a chance to move, to be done with the Vegas you say you hate so much. I am sure the tourists that have to hear you talk loudly on the phone on their bus trip appreciate you being such a rag.

By the way, I doubt you are anyone to criticize something being worn in the Miss Universe pageant. I would have loved to hear what you did for a living. My guess is that because you were bitching them dumb motherfuckin' assholes that you may be in the gaming industry one way or the other. Maybe you should be a bit more grateful for them “wasting their money, blowing it away in a town where they can't win”. Maybe the only dumber person in the city is the person you were talking to. I like how you pointed out the old saying “Vegas was built on people losing money. It wasn't cuz people were winning.” They losers are paying your wages either directly or indirectly. If they don't come, you don't have a job.

Screw you! I wish you would have shut the hell up and hung up the damn phone. You didn't have to talk so loud on the phone. Hell, were you trying to scream to your friend out the window? Damn you want these dumb motherfuckin' tourists to have some consideration for you yet you have absolutely none for them. Screw you again!

Ok, done with that rant. That felt good.