Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Eye do it every year

There was an breaking news item in the paper yesterday that caught my attention: Cudahy optometrist charged in woman's death. Hmm...I am going to see an optometrist today. Hey, he works in Cudahy too. I way...

Yeah, no way. It wasn't my eye doc but it made for an interesting reaction to the story. I wished I would have remembered the story when I was in the chair. I bet he knows the guy somehow. Don't all optometrists know each other?

Going to the eye doctor is always an interesting visit for me. I am the curious sort. I will ask questions about all the different machines. Especially this time since they moved into a new location. A brand new office with what appeared to be brand new equipment.

The equipment looked state of the art. I mean state of the art as in Star Wars state of the art. Sure they had this machine that guessed your prescription by staring at a red house (ok, so the machine isn't "guessing" but I don't know how it work and I didn't ask about that one). But the one that freaked me out was the one that puffs the air into your eye. It was an eyeball like device that moved around your eye before focusing in. It moved back, then out a bit, to the left, then right, and then up by your eye.

Then BANG!

Ok, it puffed but you still jerk back a bit.

Weird machine. That is all I thought.

I then played a video game, beeping in every time I saw a flashing square. Pong was much funner.

After that is was take out the contacts and walk around blindly from one room to another. I used to bring a pair of glasses on these visits but since I went Godzilla on the last pair, I wasn't about to wear the old ones I use for now. Plus toss in those eye drops that dilate your pupils and the fun is only beginning.

I must say, I did wow them with some of my eye chart reading. I would go for the hardest line at the bottom each time and usually get at least 2 of 5 if not better. I think the girl who first tested me thought that was hot and wanted to get some freaky bang-the-blurry-vision-guy sex thing going but there were others that were still waiting.

Just before I walked out of the office, I took one last look at my eyes in the mirror. Just about all black. Nice! I thought I might have time to get something to eat before a contractor would show up to give me a bid on a repair but that wasn't going to happen. I was hoping to walk into a sandwich place and stare at someone, hoping to they would notice my eyes were different and it would freak them out, but time was too short for me to have fun.

So I drank Makers Mark and ginger ale for dinner instead. Worked during the dental work so why not now?

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