Wednesday, March 26, 2008

They hate me

I was walking through a spare bedroom when I jammed my little toe on a box. Man does that hurt like a mofo. When I got out of bed this morning, I was immediately reminded of the incident. When I put my socks on, then my shoes, I knew it would make for a fun day walking around. We all underestimate that little toe. Please, don't do what I did and take that toe for granted.

I got bashed by a lesbian site! Some site named (bashed by professional lesbians nonetheless!) called me a homophone because of my post on Basketball with lesbians. A homophobe? Really? Because of this

As I took a seat at the bar of the bowling alley, I leaned over to Gambino
and told her my guess is next year Good Friday will be spent drinking with
hermaphrodites as I spied the growing contingent of lesbians. They were friends
of her friend and I believe regulars at this place. Funny women. They made for a
good day.
I thought I was going to lost it when one commented to the other "Are
you allergic to nuts?". I couldn't keep a straight face when an hour later it
was "Don't worry, there is no sausage in it." But I couldn't contain myself when
one girl picked up a long pretzel rod and mentioned she hadn't had something
like this in her mouth in 15 years. I naturally picked up the bag of nuts and
held it out to her. "Here, the nuts go with the rod!" The blew the powder keg.
Everyone was just rolling.

Ok, maybe they mistook what I said about funny women. Let me speak in a manner that the lesbians can understand, Ellen DeGeneres. The women were funny ha ha, not funny peculiar. They were hilarious. Thus the next sentence, they made for a good day. The next paragraph was comedy born from the women. To join in on the fun makes me a homophobe?

Unlike what the professional lesbians did to me, I did not pass judgement on for their sexual preference. I enjoyed their company. If I didn't like it, I would have walked out. Guess you have to be there to understand that not everyone that uses the word lesbian in a blogpost is bashing you. Get some thicker skin like the women at the bar did.

On to the other side of the spectrum, the tragic story of the cheerleader who died while getting her boobs fixed. A story that is a tragedy because the young woman had so much going for her.
She had a charmed life: captain of the varsity cheerleading squad at West Boca
High, a nearly perfect grade-point average, good looks and a ticket to the
University of Florida, where she would start her journey toward becoming a
medical doctor.

Her friends said she was "perfect" and a "sure thing" (which made her popular with the boys *nudge nudge wink wink*). She even had a reserved parking spot to park her Lexus.

Uh wait. She was driving a Lexus??? Where did this girl get a Lexus from. Must have rich parents. After all, someone had to pay for this boob job.

Ah yes, here was the downfall. One boob was bigger than the other. And she had an inverted nipple. OMG! How can she live like that?!?!?! How many times did she whine and moan to her parents that her rack was jacked? Did she whimper about getting the girls done, whining that Thelma was bigger than Louise? I picture her pushing the kids in her dad's face demanding he pay for the surgery.

That is the problem I have with this story. There is little mention of the parents. One would assume that they had wealth in order for her to be driving a Lexus. But that may be wrong. The story indicates "Organizers charged $1 for each candle at the vigil - money that will be given to the family for expenses." Huh? So maybe they don't have money. So who was paying for the surgery? And of course, who the hell thinks a 16 year old girl should be having a boob job? Seriously people! Why has no one interviewed the parents or even asked this question?


Drizztdj said...

16 year old with a Lexus.

Money for a boob job.

Probable HUGE malpratice suit.

Let's let that sink in before giving $1.

As for the lebsian full court press, it seems like someone needs to become just a little more sensitive to hetrosexual people and their wily sense of humor.

Diarrhea of the Mouth said...

i want a boob job and i drive a saturn....can i have money?

StB said...

Do you have inverted nipples? Are you unbalanced? If so, you may qualify. Just make sure you don't die on the table.